Matt and Amy for Parents of the Year

Here's our submission photo:



Before anybody calls social services on us, know that the bag was taken away, zipped closed and placed high in a closet where a repeat of this would not happen again.

i Pod (but just barely)

After six hours of copying CD's to my computer, I tried transferring the songs to my iPod to no avail. I tried several things before calling on my good friend (and Mac guru) Kyle Hufford. Kyle gave me a few other tools to try (and a good chance to briefly catch up on what's new in life) and I restarted the update process as I left for work. I came back nine hours later only to have the iPod still stuck in the same spot as when I left it (which came as no surprise) and I began to troubleshoot some more.

After trying several things and praying a lot (such a stupid thing to pray about, but if it's important to me, it's important to God) we finally achieved some semblance of an update. I did only purchased music to start out figuring that if I got just a little bit on the iPod it would get us through the weekend and I could try again Tuesday. I was finally able to load on the six hours of earlier labor, plus other music that had been copied earlier. We seem to be fully functional now, but I'm glad I've got 30 days to return it, just in case.

Finally Joining the Digital Music Revolution

It's been a long time coming, but I finally picked up an iPod. It's not that I've been holding out waiting for the dust to settle on digital music formats so that I didn't get stuck with outdated technology and song files that didn't easily translate into whatever was next in line. It was simply a matter of money. I couldn't justify the expense and the more affordable players like the Shuffle didn't have enough storage for me to carry around as much music as I would want.

Christmas has been kind thus far and I was able to pick up a used, 20 GB, 4th generation iPod at Mac Pros for $179 with new earbuds, USB adaptor and a lime green skin. I also picked up an FM transmitter for in the van which we'll get to test out this weekend when we go to Mom and Dad's. I didn't get everything set up before work last night, so I'm frantically copying CD's today until I need to get ready for work.

On another, related note, I downloaded the new Delirious album (i.e. collection of songs, sort of like a photo album, not the big, vinyl discs formerly refered to as "albums") "The Mission Bell" and the David Crowder Band's "Turkish Delight" track from the compilation CD inspired by the Narnia movie from iTunes last night. I'll check out "Bell" at work tonight, but had to take "Turkish Delight" for a spin. It's a very infectious (in a good way) song with a decidedly 70's groove to it (especially in the guitars). Good stuff.

Happy Anniversary

It was one year ago today that God called us to leave Hanfield and move to Sioux Falls, SD. It's been one of the hardest years of my life and also an incredible year for growth. I just didn't know what we were getting into. I know that we're where we are supposed to be, but I still have to wonder where we are headed.

The Weekend (so far)

We're in Yankton, SD at our summer home (at least our summer home of 2005) with Jim and Marilyn at the midpoint of our Christmas weekend. I didn't have to work today, so we don't have to head back to Sioux Falls until tomorrow. I had hoped to be on the bike about now, but those plans were foiled when a part of my cold weather gear didn't make the trip with me. It's a little colder than had been predicted, so going without the gear is out of the question.

Our weekend got started on Saturday morning with a visit from our friendly, neighborhood Jehovah's Witnesses. Amy had been unfortunate to get the door the last few times, so I made sure to get it this time. My last experience with the JW in Marion was less than pleasant, so I was ready to do whatever it took to get rid of them this time in the most expedient manner.

I've sort of learned that the JW are a good group to practice apologetics with. I doubt that I'll ever convert one and I know they won't convert me, so we can debate (hopefully in a civil manner) points of theology in a way that help me sharpen my communication skills where Scripture is concerned. That was certainly the case this time as we got into areas concerning the doctrine of the Trinity. The JW believe that Jesus is a god, but not the God. The doctrine of the Trinity believes that Jesus, the Holy Spirit and God the Father are three distincive parts of one entity.

We also got into a little bit about the Greek work "proskuneo" which is a word for worship used throughout the New Testament and how, I believe, it is misinterpreted to skew against the divinity of Jesus in the translation of the Bible that the JW use. I'd been carrying that one around for awhile, so it was nice to finally be able to talk to a JW about something they were unaware of in their own Bible.

It was not an uncivil conversation, but I was glad when they left. It also gave me occasion to think on the divinity of Christ quite a bit on the day before Christmas.

Christmas morning we opened gifts with the kids at home, followed by church at New Hope doing what we do. We had a good service with candlelighting, communion and a fair amount of music including the version of "Behold the King" that I rewrote last year and a slew of stuff that Hal either arranged or wrote.

After church, we were on the road to Yankton. We got in a little after 1:00 and opened present and had lunch. We had the same white chili recipie that Jim made last year when I got so sick (see the January 2005 archives for the full story, remember to read bottom to top). Amy was a bit worried that if I ate it, we'd have to move again. Thankfully, the bug that I had picked up that led to my reaction last year was nowhere to be found. I was even able to have it again for supper. The chili was just as good as last year, but I have to say that I was glad to be able to re-experience it on my own terms.

So far, I've accumulated a fair amount of reading material including Anne Rice's "Christ the King...", Brian McLaren's "A New Kind of Christian" and Mark Steele's "Flashbang" as well as Star Wars Episode III on DVD and the latest Tree 63 CD. I also got a Santa Yoda (which I accidentally discovered about three weeks before Christmas in a drawer but didn't say a word about), gloves, socks, assorted toiletries, candy and other items. I'm also up to about $200 in my iPod fund. I am doing the research on which model to pick up, but I think I need at least 6 GB of storage to make it worthwhile. 20 GB would be ideal so that I wouldn't have to choose which CD's to rip to it.

We're off to Bonesteel for a 40th anniversary party tonight for Amy's aunt and uncle, after which we will drive back to Yankton to spend the night. Tomorrow is a trip to Vermillion to visit John and Lorrie Thomas (Amy's bassoon teacher and our friends) on our way back to Sioux Falls so that I can be at work by 3:30.

Thankfully, it's just a four day workweek followed by another Christmas/New Year's weekend with my folks, Rena's family and my grandparents in Fort Dodge, IA. The holidays are a whole lot easier to handle when we're so close to everybody.

Worship While You Work

Tonight was phenomenal. Not necessarily because of what I was doing, but because of how thick the presence of God was while I worked. I listened to Mae, Delirious (Glo), Crowder (Collision) and a message by Louie Giglio and I was captivated. I was a bit overcome a few times and had to work to hold it together so as to not be a distraction. While everybody else seemed completely absorbed in whether or not they would get the day off tomorrow, I was completely captivated by God in a way that I doubt happens very often where I work.

I have to admit, I'm feeling more creative and part of the reason for that is that I get to listen to music all day while I work. Not someone else's choice, not because I have to, not to help me find the latest resource for worship planning, but music that I resonate with that connects me with God, challenges my perception of artistic possibility and makes me want to leave mid-shift so I can grab a guitar and sing until my throat hurts.

God, grant that this urge that I feel within me would coincide with a work that you are doing in this community. May it continue to rise to flood stage until we have no choice but to pour the overflow of our hearts into anthems of praise and creative expression that ultimately exhibit You. Open the gates and allow Your Spirit to do a work here that draws attention to how great, holy and captivating you truly are. Amen.

Interview Round 2 and a late night ride

I had interview #2 today and I think it went alright. I'm still on the fence, but will have the entire weekend to think about it as they won't let me know anything until Tuesday at the earliest.

This afternoon was nice enough to ride to work, but I knew I'd be taking my chances riding home, especially since I didn't get off until 1:00 am tonight. How many of you were on your bikes in 35 degree weather while most sensible people were in bed? None of you? I didn't think so, 'cause I didn't see you out there. Tonight gave me opportunity to think about the idea that if you love something, you will be willing to suffer for it. After over a month off of the bike, I think I have proven my love tonight.

Interview Round 1

I had my first interview for an internet tech call support job today. I think it went well. I'm not 100% sold on it (provided I'm even offered the position) but get a few more days to think about it before going back in for a second interview. The hours would be Tuesday-Saturday 1-10 pm initially. Not much better than my current job, but not much worse. Pay would be better and I would say that I know a lot more about troubleshooting a computer than why people didn't get their rewards points on their credit card.

We'll see how things go with round two and think and pray some more. Now I must be off to my current job.

A Late Night, An Interview and a Little Sermon Prep

I just got home from work about 15 minutes ago. We're being allowed to work 3:30pm-1:00am M-T and noon-4:00pm on Friday to give those that are traveling a jump on the holiday weekend. We're not actually going anywhere until Sunday after church, but I thought it would be fun to do it anyway. Nine hours at work didn't feel much different than eight, except for the fact that I had fairly nasty stuff to work on tonight, so it felt a little long.

Tomorrow (today?) I have an interview for a couple of positions with a media/internet company in town for customer support. One job would be like what I'm doing now, only on the phone (the huge upside is that it would be a M-F, 8-5 job), the other would be doing internet tech support on the phone (the huge upside is that it would pay at least $1 an hour more than I'm currently making, but the shift is still up in the air). We'll see how things go and whether I'm offered anything before I consider whether it would be worth making the move.

It's now time to do a bit of sermon prep for January 8 since everybody is in bed.

Rebirth of a Righteous Goat

(photo by Stuart Villanueva, used by permission courtesy of The Argus Leader)

Amy asked this morning if I was regrowing the righteous goat (seen here at last summer's Tour de Kota) that I had to trim back to conservative length while I looked for work over the summer. I have been regrowing it in hopes that the goat may live again. I thought about it this morning and realize that it would have been at a full year's length if I wouldn't have had to trim it. It still has a long way to go to reach the point it was at when the clippers tore into it, but it is filling out nicely.

Note to any coworkers reading this, the surest sign to telling whether I am interviewing for another job is whether the goat gets trimmed.

Prayers

Ironically, like last year, I find myself praying for direction again at Christmas time. I don't really expect God to call us out and uproot us like last year, but I know better than to cling to expectations where God is concerned. His ways are not my ways, His thoughts not my thoughts and in the upside down Kingdom of God what seems to tear at us the most is for our mending. While I'm beginning to understand some of these things better, I know that my understanding is in its infancy and that my baby steps, while drawing me closer to the reality, will only help me accomplish a small part of the journey that is mapped out for me for eternity.

My prayers this morning found me in the familiar place of asking what I'm supposed to be doing. I believe it is the right question for the moment. The more important question is "Who am I supposed to be being?" because that question is nearer the heart of God and puts the dynamic of Christ-likeness ahead of good works. I am feeling at peace right now in my "beingness" which was a big part of this year's search for identity that came with being plucked from a place of comfort and self-assuredness and dropped in a place that demanded a serious identity check. Because of that peace, I feel it is time to begin to assess what I am supposed to be doing or I will run the risk of getting caught in the eat-sleep-work-get up and do it all again mode that is so prevalent in this area. I see a lot of people working to survive and completely missing the point of this life we've been given. I'm not crazy enough to think I'm above it, so I'd rather appear crazy by seeking what risks God would have us take so that I can truly live.

As I prayed this morning, I asked what we're supposed to be doing. God seemed to be saying to stay the course. I asked Him if that meant staying at the 9-5 (or 3:30-midnight) and staying at the church we're at or to begin to seriously pursue planting a church. The answer was a little less definite than I had hoped for, but about what I expected: "Yes." I feel like what He's saying is that we're on the right track and that the details are not for us to know yet, so we'll keep at it, keep dreaming and keep asking in the hopes that when our divine moments begin to appear, we'll be ready to seize them and pursue God with abandon, no matter the cost.

Speaking Engagement

I'm excited to get the opportunity to fill the pulpit at the Church of the Brethren in Sheldon, IA on January 8th. This is the church that Amy grew up in and a church that we both were a part of through high school while we were dating. They are in between pastors right now and were needing some folks to fill in. I was happy to accept the invitation.

I'm looking forward to it for any number of reasons. First, they are great people and I'm looking forward to a reunion of sorts. It's a small country church where the people get the whole community thing. It helps that quite a few of them are related to each other, but when you are with them, you are family whether by blood or not.

I'm also looking forward to it because I really enjoy preparing and delivering a message and don't get to do it too often. The theme & title for the sermon, Lord willing, will be "Settling for the God We Know." It's an idea that I'm still fleshing out, but I am really excited about where it is heading. I think it's an idea that could be fleshed out into something much larger, but we'll focus on the sermon for now.

If anyone will happen to be in the area on January 8 at 9:30 am, feel free to drop by. More info about the church is at http://www.sheldonbrethren.org.

Saturday NFL, It's a Beautiful Thing

I wasn't paying close enough attention to the NFL schedule this week and was pleasantly surprised to turn on the TV today and stumble upon the Bucs/Pats game. As much as I love the college bowl games, I am always pleased when the NCAA goes on hiatus for a month so we can have Saturday, Sunday and Monday night football courtesy of the NFL. It's good conditioning for the Saturday/Sunday schedule of the playoffs coming up in a few weeks.

The only downsides this year are that I can't really watch MNF because of work and I can't watch Saturday or Sunday night games because they're played on ESPN and we have neither cable or satellite. In order to "watch" the TB/NE game earlier, I had to set my hand on top of the antennae unit on the TV. Otherwise I had to settle for just the audio since I couldn't even tell which team was which. I miss ESPN, but never more than when one of my teams is playing a night game.

I'm making the best of it tonight by listening to my Broncos play the Bills online.

To Err is Human...

I'm used to making mistakes as a musician. Part of my m.o. is to be a jack of all trades, master of none. This is never more obvious to me than when I try to record, which I attempted to do today.

I had told Amy that I wanted to do some recording which means that I need the computer and a bit of space so as to not record children or deal with the feeling of having someone looking over my shoulder through the whole process. Amy packed Maia up and took her grocery shopping while Xander kept himself occupied playing and I set about recording "Behold the King" which is a Christmas song I wrote several years ago and revamped last year. We were able to do it a few times at Hanfield last year, but we never got a decent recording of it.

I first had to deal with getting the computer ready which entailed plugging in my M-Audio Mobile-Pre recording device, restarting the computer and changing the audio input and output options. Then I had to set up my guitar amp, a few pedals and a microphone. I was able to get most of the gear set up before Amy left so I could maximize my time.

Once I was ready to start, I found a drum loop in Garage Band that I could use for a scratch track to help me keep tempo. I finished setting that up and was ready to start recording my electric. The song starts with a four bar, picked eighth note pattern that repeats through all of the chorus sections of the song. I made my first run at it and the guitar needed a new battery. Once that was changed, I was finally able to start recording. I figured that I needed two clean runs at the pattern to be able to have enough material to be able to copy and paste to the other chorus sections since I knew that a flawless trip all the way through the song was not a realistic expectation. I wrote the lead line, but I wrote it for someone else to play. I couldn't even manage two back-to-back trips through the line without mistakes and finally gave up after about 15 minutes of fruitless picking.

I decided to get the acoustic out and at least get some scratch work done on that which will help me with arranging and redoing the drum parts. It took me a few minutes to get the level set where the signal wouldn't clip (crack/pop) and I dove in. The nice thing with knowing that it was going to be a scratch track (practice track) was that I didn't stop for minor mistakes if I didn't hit things perfectly. My hope was that I could then go back and do some of the other parts on electric that wouldn't be quite as intricate. As soon as I finished the acoustic track, Amy and Maia were home, ending today's session.

To err is human, but to do so while recording is extremely frustrating. Hopefully I'll get a chance to do some more before next week so I can keep it moving forward. Otherwise it might stall out and sit unfinished for another year.

The Chronicles of Narnia

It's truly a noteworthy event when we go to see a movie. Today we took Xander to see "Narnia." We've had this week on the calendar marked for months since first seeing the trailer for the movie back in May. Amy and I have read the books numerous times and Amy's been reading them with Xander as well. We had heard that it would be made, but feared it would be another, well meaning effort by Christian filmmakers who just couldn't pull it off. When we saw the trailer, those fears were dashed. Now the only question was whether it would live up to our expectations.

Things started a little bumpy when we got to the theater. Turns out this new theater doesn't take credit or debit cards. Ridiculous. How do you be a frontrunner in the entertainment industry without something that's become common at most fast food places? I was not pleased to have to use the ATM and apparently seemed put out enough so that the movie chick gave us Xander's ticket for free. Less than $10 for the three of us to see a movie, that put me in a better mood. We'll know to use Fandango before we go next time so we can pay without cash. Of course by the next time we actually go to a movie, it will probably be summer.

The movie itself was good. I'm not going to gush uncontrollably, but I thought it was a solid effort and a movie that I'll look forward to repeatedly viewing once the DVD is on my shelf. I thought the acting was fairly solid, especially for a movie that revolves around its younger stars. There were spots though where I felt like with a little more direction, the kids would have been capable of drawing more out of the characters.

The effects were good for the most part, but I couldn't help but wonder what it would have looked like if WETA or ILM had done all of the effects (ILM did lend a hand on some). After being inundated with snow the last few weeks, I kept finding myself really distracted by the studio snow that was everywhere through the first half of the movie that shared its color, and little else, with the real deal. Other effects were good, but not seamless to the point where you were able to pretend you were really seeing what you were seeing.

Probably the most distracting thing for me was the acting of the extras as they prepared for battle. During those scenes, I felt like I was witnessing a costume party instead of a gathering of troops. The extras were basically like dressed scenery and they seemed a bit awkward any time acting was required.

I thought their treatment of Aslan was solid. He looked good, sounded regal and was presented quite well. I am a bit curious as to why Jedi or Sith seem to get all of the primo lion voiceover work. Darth Vader in "The Lion King" and Qui-Gon Jinn as Aslan.

I have to agree with others that I've read in that I'm not sure about the viability of the entire Chronicles of Narnia series making it to the big screen owing to narrative flow and the fact that character turnover for some of the movies could throw audiences off the scent. But, if they decide they want to make a go of it, I'm hoping that they'll only improve in their ability to tell the story with ALL of the tools at hand. The story carried the day for this one, but the acting and effects are going to have to get better for the Chronicles to have staying power as a franchise.

House "Offer"

We got our first offer on our house in Indiana, if you want to call it an offer. It was for about 2/3 of the asking price which put it right out of the running. We didn't even bother to counter. If the buyer wants to consider making a real offer, that's fine, but we're not going to begin to negotiate when we're $15,000 apart at the start.

Frustrating, but at least we can say that we've had an offer now.

Zip Tower Update

For obvious reasons, the City of Sioux Falls did not take us up on our offer to have Xander take care of the botched tower demolition. They finally started whacking at the building with a wrecking ball over the weekend. I saw some footage on the news last night that showed how small the ball is in comparison to the job. We're kind of used to the imagery of a wrecking ball taking out huge chunks of building that are simply unable to resist the force of such a powerful object. This ball looked a little pathetic in its feeble attempts to knock into the wall of what used to be the tallest building in South Dakota.

I was able to check out some of the work about noon today and they are making a bit of progress. They have started in on the south wall at the top it looks like they've knocked a fair chunk of wall from the top of that side of the building. From the west you are able to see how far into the building they've managed to knock in. I'm not sure how long it will take the whole thing to come down at this rate, but it will take a little time at this rate.

Ironically, the crane they brought in to knock the tower down now stands as the tallest structure in South Dakota (just kidding).

Normally I'm at Work Right Now...

I did something that I had never done tonight: I took VTO at work. VTO stands for voluntary time off which, in the words of the Tomemaster, means you get to "go home early without getting fired or quitting." It was offered for our team last night and Tory and I were the only ones to stay the entire night. Our team didn't have a lot to do tonight either and I had some unplanned paid time off left, so I opted to use it. I left at 8:00 which gave me time to hit Toys-R-Us and the mall to do some shopping. If I hadn't done it tonight, Maia and I would have been braving the crowds tomorrow, a prospect that held absolutely no appeal for me. Saturday December mall shopping with a one year old holds as much appeal as lap swimming in a cesspool for me.

Amy's in bed already, suffering through the aftereffects of a migraine and preparing to do a room makeover for someone from the church tomorrow. Between the room makeover, Christmas program and other factors, she was prime pickings for a migraine. I surprised her by coming home early and giving her a neck rub.

Our Christmas card is just about ready to go out, but I think we may have to take it to Kinko's since our printer doesn't seem to want to get the job done. Amy did a great job with it and we can't wait to get it out, but it may take a few more days. Other than the printer, we're still loving the Mac Mini. I keep hoping for a little more time to dig into the Garage Band deal with my M-Audio input, but there always seem to be these people here which makes it a little hard to record.

Karen's funeral was held today at Hanfield. Kyle was kind enough to let me know that what I wrote the other day was shared there. It was a huge blessing to know that we got to be a part of it even though we're a thousand miles away. I keep finding tears of sorrow turning to tears of joy and back again when I think about Karen. It's amazing to me how easily they mingle, joining and dancing together, becoming one expression that speaks of countless emotions. I miss her, but have an unspeakable joy for her that words on a page (or a screen) could never hope to capture. I grieve more for us than for her.

I feel like I had a special relationship with Karen, but I suppose anyone that ever knew her felt the same way.

Epitaph for a Saint

Karen Stair, friend and former coworker at Hanfield UMC died last night. The following is the best way I know how to honor her:

Dear Karen,

I've thought about you often over the last six months as our surroundings turned from Indiana to South Dakota and the miles brought only physical separation. Our hearts were united by God as we celebrated, grieved, labored, prayed and dreamed for a season together. The distance between us has only helped me realize more strongly how closely bonded we are through the unity of the Spirit that binds us together in love.

Now you're gone at 62; taken too young for those of us who know how badly you are needed here, but not taken soon enough considering how desperately you longed to be with Jesus. This world couldn't contain your spirit any more than your flesh could contain the Spirit inside you. You overflowed into the lives of everyone around you, pouring the very Spirit of God like fresh, spring rain.

The very thought of you makes me hunger for the word of God, that I might know Him as you have known Him. Like Moses, your face shown the glory of God because of your proximity to His presence making my eyes ache at the holiness of His reflection in yours.

I see you now, dancing the dance of the bride with the Groom who has waited so long to bring you home. I see you embraced by Jesus in the same enveloping, warm, complete embrace that you have given so freely to others. I see you at His side as He intercedes at the right hand of God.

I have never missed you more or felt closer to you. You are where I long to be and seeing you there makes it a more present reality. You continue to give me hope and encouragement as I chase this God we both so dearly love. I'm so thankful to know you and can't wait to see you again.

Your brother,

Matt

Movement

I think God is up to something. About half way through my shift at work tonight I really got the sense that I'm supposed to be fasting. I haven't done much fasting since this summer, but it is a discipline that usually helps my prayers gain focus. It's not that I haven't been praying, I just feel like I've been using buckshot to hunt squirrels. It might get the job done, but it won't leave much meat to add to the stew.

For the record, I've never hunted or eaten rodent. The hunting thing was just an analogy.



I also get the sense that I'm supposed to be writing. Not in the "right this second I'm writing on the blog" type of writing, but actual writing. I just don't know what I'm supposed to be writing. Songs, articles, grant proposals... I'm hoping that the next few weeks will begin to bring some clarity.

Morrison and Son offer their services to the city of Sioux Falls

The Problem:



The unsuccessful demolition of the Zip Feed Tower.

The Solution:



Morrison and Son, Inc is willing to offer their expertise in finishing the job. One well placed shot from these fists of fury would be sure to finish the job.

The Alternative:



As a curiosity landmark, the Zip Feed Tower could remain in its current location and be the next in South Dakota's proud tradition of tourist traps, I mean sites. Morrison and Son, Inc could provide the muscle to keep the Zip up for years to come.

The Boom that Sounded More Like a Thud

Saturday had been built up for weeks as Sioux Falls prepared to blow up the tallest building in the state (at a paltry 210 feet) within view of downtown. Tickets were sold to benefit MS research for the chance to be the one to push the button to topple the Zip Feed Tower. Over 20,000 people were expected to turn out for the festivities (I'm not sure how many actually did).

Amy and Xander decided to take a drive that direction to see what they could see while I stayed home with Maia. At 12:55pm I heard the boom and was kind of surprised when I didn't hear any kind of after effect, but wrote it off due to the fact that we live a few miles from the tower. About ten minutes later, Amy and Xander came in and were obviously underwhelmed at the once in a lifetime event they had just witnessed.

Apparently the building proved more stubborn than the explosives placed in its columns. It began to fall, found fresh purchase in the basement and came to rest in the hole, leaning precariously to one side. We've now got our own leaning tower for a few days to remind us of how overblown expectations for an explosion can be.

Plan B is to bring in a crane and wrecking ball to finish the job. It will take a few days to get the gear in place and maybe a few more to finish the job. I'm hoping to get a few pics of my own to post in the next few days, but you can see some pics at CNN.com, argusleader.com and other news sites.

While I've not heard anything official, it's almost certain that the Zip Feed Tower, though still standing, is no longer the tallest building in South Dakota.

Music Rant Update

As I mentioned in a the previous Music Rant post, the CD I took issue with was from a CCM darling. It was no surprise to me that I posted the CD on Half.com yesterday and have already sold it. Go figure.

Music Rant

Okay, I'll keep it civil, so it's not too ranty, but I was listening to the latest CD from an artist that has become a CCM (Contemporary Christian Music for those keeping score at home) darling over the last few years and was really disappointed and bothered by what I was hearing.

I had picked up his first recording a few years ago and loved it (still do), was less impressed with release number 2 and I've had this one for several months but it's probably only the third or fourth time I've listened to it. I decided to give it another go while I worked last night.

By about the fourth track, I was beginning to find myself put out with the cliche lyrics, unoriginal rhymes and repetitive nature of the themes in the songs.

The predominant theme was "laying down my pride" and things of that nature. I am totally on board with the necessity of this in the Christian walk, but by about the fifth song with this idea as the centerpiece I began to find myself wondering when this kind of focus on "my humility" begins to become a bit self-obsessive and counterproductive. I began to wonder if the focus for the listener would become a higher esteem of God or a heightened focus on self.

I'm sure I'll be pondering that for a bit yet. That aside, the album was weak and will be finding its way to half.com in the next few days.

Work Schedule

A bit of good news on the work front. It looks like after the first of the year I'll be able to adjust my schedule a bit. I'll be working 2:30-midnight M-F except for Wednesday which will be 2:30-6:30.

A few months back I was praying that something would work out so that I could be at rehearsals for worship team on Wednesday nights because I was just starting to play, but knew that it would be better if I could do more than just show up on Sunday morning. I actually prayed about it on the way to work one day and when I arrived, I was told to fill out a proposal for an adjusted schedule. Nothing was said about it for awhile and I kind of assumed that it went away until I was told last night that it looked like it would be accepted.

I'll be happy to be a part of the team and have another night where I can be home to help put the kids to bed. My guitar playing is sure to improve as well with an additional practice time scheduled in. I'm the kind of player that likes to hear what everybody else is doing and see what I can do to add to it. It's kind of hard to do that on the fly when you haven't worked with the other players. I can now experiment on Wednesdays, refine Thursday-Saturday and hopefully have it together on Sundays.

A Tiny Tree and More Snow

After our extended trip to Yankton, we finally arrived in Sioux Falls on Tuesday. The bug that Xander had attacked me in a different way making a return to work unlikely that night as I would have probably spent as much time in the bathroom as at my desk. It was good to get back to where the power had never gone out and the furnace was working after being without power in Yankton from about 11:40 pm on Monday until the time we left the next afternoon.

Sioux Falls had had almost six inches of snow which wasn't too bad considering what it could have been. Travel had been a bit slow as some of the roads were clearer than others. We weren't in any hurry since I'd already called work to tell them I wouldn't be in. It took us about two hours and fifteen minutes to do a drive that usually takes us about 90 minutes. Not too bad all things considered.

We settled in at the house, Amy taught a few lessons, I unpacked and we looked forward to a lazy night at home. We decorated for Christmas (admittedly, not one of my favorite things) and tried to figure out what was usable from our arsenal and what needed to stay in the basement. Unfortunately, the big tree had to stay in the basement. We thought about putting it on the back porch, but it's so cold out there that neither of us was interested in freezing in order to put up a tree where we would just walk past it on our way in and out of the house.

We did set up a little tree in the living room by the fireplace which Xander decorated with non-breakable ornaments. Amy likens the tree to Charlie Brown's and it does look a little dwarfed by pretty much everything in the apartment with the exception of Maia. We'll probably wait to put presents under the tree until we're ready to open some for fear that they might hide the tree (not to mention that they would all be unwrapped by a certain blonde haired tornado who leaves a trail of destruction through the house throughout the day).

I finally made it to work last night shortly after it began snowing again. It came down until shortly before I came home at midnight and we wound up with six inches of fresh snow on top of the six we had. It's not supposed to get out of the teens today and is supposed to remain cold for awhile, so I don't think the snow's going anywhere soon. It's also probably safe to say that my cycling is done for the year.

The Holiday Weekend (extended edition)

Our holiday weekend has been anything but predictable this year as it is now being extended to today. Thursday went well with us getting up fairly early (after working 'til midnight) to drive to Mom and Dad's in NW Iowa for the day. Rena (my sister), her girls, my grandparents, Uncle Dave, Julie Grubisich and our family all descended on the farm through the course of the morning, ready to celebrate Thanksgiving (version 1.0) with the parade, the meal, the hapless Lions losing and my Broncos eeking out a very fortunate victory in Dallas. We spent the night and returned to Sioux Falls during the day in time for me to make it back to work.

Friday morning, the first unpredictable thing happened. One of Mom and Dad's neighbors was out on his ATV (four wheeler for the old-school set) checking his traps when he rolled it on top of him. He managed to drag himself back on it and limped his way to the house where Mom and Dad loaded him into their car and Mom drove him to the hospital in Primghar (a town just as beautiful as its name). I guess his face was busted up pretty well, but some family had arrived before Mom left. We missed the whole thing and only got the recap after waking up. Our trip back to Sioux Falls and the work that followed it was rather uneventful.

Saturday morning saw us rise and drive to Yankton to do Thanksgiving with Jim and Marilyn, Casey, Heidi and their kids and Grandma Leanne on Sunday. Amy and I also offered to help out with church on Sunday after being solicited. Saturday was uneventful as we just hung out for the day and tried to catch up on sleep a little. I've been noticing that I'm more irritable on Saturdays due to the schedule. I feel like I finally mellow out toward the end of the day and by Sunday I'm usually okay. I just wonder if other people notice it as much as I do.

Sunday promised to be a day of uncertainty as the weather forecast for Sunday and today was not pleasant. Casey's family and Grandma Leanne decided they'd be safer to just get themselves together in Mitchell (where they all live) than brave the roads. We missed them a lot, but know it was the right decision as things just got worse in their neck of the woods as the day went on. We still planned to stay Sunday night and assess travel conditions this morning before heading back to Sioux Falls for work.

Church was fun, although I think we must have carried some of out technical glitches from last week with us as the guitar player had what sounded like a bad battery, the mix changed from the beginning of first service to the end of first service and we had no drums for the final song of the first service. Amy filled in with vocals, pennywhistle and shaker while I also provided some vocals and played my new djembe. The djembe came in especially useful on "Shout to the North" at the end of the first service when the drums (electronic) were never unmuted.

We got home and Amy and Marilyn prepared Thanksgiving (version 2.0). It was a great meal, followed by the end of the win by my (I hate to admit it) Vikings and a nap during the movie "Madagascar." The evening was pretty laid back while we listened to the rain and wind begin to threaten a bit more.

At 2:30am, we heard Maia start to cry. An unusual event usually tied to some other disruption. The disruption was that Xander had thrown up Thanksgiving (remixed) all over his bed in their room and was working his way to the bathroom when we heard him clattering around in the dark. We got him cleaned up, the bed cleaned up and a spot on the couch with a basin set up for him when the lights went out. The next few hours repeated a cycle of us nodding off, Xander throwing up, us cleaning him up and us trying to go back to bed.

For variety, the power went off a few times in the midst of the cycle making it even more interesting since we're staying on the first floor of a two story that is backed into the cut out side of a hill. That means that there's a part of the basement with no windows including the bathroom and hallway. I fumbled around upstairs until I found some matches and we were able to light a candle and use it to find a flashlight. We left the candle where Xander was sleeping and kept the flashlight with us in case we needed to get up again.

By the time we got up this morning, the power had been on for several hours, Xander was still sick as a dog and the snow had kicked in to the point where we knew we weren't going anywhere. Looking out the window now, the snow is blowing to the point where I can barely make out the gray expanse of the lake and our van has several inches of snow on it. We're going to have another lazy day and hope that tomorrow proves a little more agreeable to leave.

I'm wishing I would have brought some movies or my guitar, but I may have to settle for a good book instead.

Chili Makes Me Miss People

Amy asked me to make a batch of chili today, so I'm tackling that while she has the unenviable task of hauling the kids to have pictures taken. She called for the appointment yesterday and they told her to come in at 10:15 this morning. After working 'til midnight and getting to sleep at 2am, I knew I wouldn't be up and functioning in time to go with, so instead I'm making chili and missing people.

The last chili I had was with Brent and Kathy last month while we were in Marion. They sent some "Williams" brand chili seasonings with and it has had the desired effect, I'm thinking about them while I cook. I also think of the times when the guys would get together for chili at Tim Lehrian's during Hanfield's women's retreat. I think of Scott, Bryon, Dave, James, Kent and others that partook in chili while we watched movies.

I think of all of Kent's experiments with chili recipes from his Marlboro chili recipe book (still not sure where one acquires it or if tobacco is one of the main ingredients). I think of the time when Kent was out of chili powder and called to see if I could drop some by on my way back out to the church even though the house wasn't exactly on the way.

I think of each setting and treasure them more than words can express and wonder how a batch of chili can dig so deep into the treasure chest of memory.

A Soundboard, A Service and A Coyote (I think)

This morning we had church at Giglebee's (a Chuck E. Cheese sort of place, only a bit more dated and dingy). Amy, Hal and I were the worship team and we had a chance to field test a sound board that Kyle Hufford gave us over the summer. It took us a little time to work through some stuff with it in the sound check, but by the time we were done with the check, we thought we were in pretty good shape.

We should have taken some electrical tape and a Sharpie with us, because when the video that started about ten minutes prior to the service started, we had no audio for it. I started playing with the channels in the vicinity of where the computer's audio had been, only to find that it had been switched to another channel. Needless to say, I didn't quite remember where to return the levels on the other channels which were for wireless units for other things in the service. Because of that, Pastor Chip came up to welcome everybody and his mic was all out of whack. Hal tried to get it corralled while Chip talked, but Chip muted it before Hal was able to get it quite right.

We finally got the audio for the video up and running before we started our songs. Once we started, Hal launched into "Let Everything that has Breath" and Amy pounded the keys with absolutely no response. Amy picked up a shaker and I tried to figure out what was up with the keyboard channel. Chip came to lend a hand in trouble shooting and I went back to playing.

For the next song, we had keys and the kids came up to learn some motions and sing with us. In the process of kids singing and jumping around, we think one of them accidentally stepped on Hal's tuner pedal for his guitar which cut him out of the mix entirely. That made the next song a little difficult, because we couldn't figure out what was going on with his guitar and he was the only guitar on that song as I was playing djembe.

We managed to work our way through the last few songs without Hal's guitar in the mix and were able to assess things once the next video started. Again, we had issues with the video audio because either the cable or the channel on the board were loose and we couldn't keep a consistent signal without someone holding it in place. Things went fairly well for the sermon and puppet thing that we had and it looked like we might be able to finish with no more issues. Unfortunately, the next issue was mine.

My guitar had been really hot in the system which meant that I could barely turn the volume on the guitar up at all without it distorting or feeding back. I am used to turning it up all the way and letting the sound person set the level for me. When we came back to do a final song, as Chip prayed, I replugged in and produced a great interruption of feedback in about the quietest moment Giglebee's had seen in years. We recovered and did the final song and a little postlude of a song that we had practiced, but that we nixed from earlier in the service.

After the service, the kids all got free tokens for the games and most families stuck around for food. Xander went and played 20 (honestly 20) games of skee ball while we packed up and moved out our gear. Xander and I hit the arcade and then played a game of air hockey (Xander "won" 6 to 2) while we waited for our food.

The decor of Giglebee's hasn't been updated probably in 20 years. Very primary, very vinyl. They also have a coyote(?) named Wilbur that rides around on a tricycle on a track with a tray who delivers your pizza and talks to you. Not the prerecorded, Chuck E. Cheese kind of talk, but a guy in a booth actually watching the room and talking to the customers. Yet again, I realize there are worse fates than mine

We played a lot of games after pizza and were able to come home and crash for the rest of the day. As a bonus, I got to watch the Broncos beat up on the Jets until CBS gave up on it and I got to watch most of the 2nd half of the Colts outlasting the Bengals. For those with NFL Ticket, you're thinking "Big whoop." For me and my antennae, getting to watch big chunks of two games that I really wanted to see was the perfect end to a good day.

A Little Late Night Songwriting

It's been several months since I actually had an idea for a song that materialized into anything. I just finished working on something that's been churning for a few weeks now. The basic idea stayed the same during that time, but tonight was the first time that I actually sat down, guitar in hand to work through the idea a bit.

Of course, the entire family is asleep, making space to write a bit of a challenge (we're in the downstairs apartment of a two unit house). Imagine me sitting in the basement (just as cementy as a good basement should be), guitar in hand, working through ideas sitting on a vinyl chair left by a previous tenant. Not exactly the most inspiring space to work, but very fitting for the song.

The idea is that I see hurt and need all around me everyday, but I act like the people I see are a million miles away. I don't know if I don't act out of awkwardness, fear that I'll bring offense where I mean to help or what, but it's an idea that I woke with a few weeks ago and have been churning since.

This week has been a good one for me in terms of getting the creative juices flowing again. Not only is this song in the works, but I've got ideas for articles for different publications, potential workshop ideas and a strong desire to dig into the calling to artists that I've been feeling. I'm also wanting to revisit some other songs that I have written over the last few years to get them in demo mode to be able to distribute to friends at other churches that might be able to make some use of them.

I don't know what I'll actually have the time/opportunity/energy to do, but I've got to say that I'm feeling a bit more myself again.

God's Economy and Prosperity

Every now and then my inner prophet finds a reason to rant about something. This week, I was at Best Buy looking to buy a headphone extension cable for at work when the prophet awoke.

I was in the audio section, looking at headphones, extenders and any other item that I thought might give me the extra six inches or so that my current headphones lack so I'm not constantly testing how taut I can make the cables while I listen to music at work. I was vaguely aware of an under the counter TV like you would put in your kitchen with a religious broadcast playing. I was totally immersed in the hunt, so the TV didn't grab my attention at all, until the speaker hit on the topic of poverty.

I don't know who the speaker was, but she was talking about how poverty was a curse and prosperity teaching, which is experiencing a fairly healthy following right now, is completely biblical. She said that she had been poor and didn't like it, how Jesus came to take the curse of poverty away and how God's people in the Bible were always prospered when they were faithful.

At this point she had my attention and I had ceased the hunt altogether. I listened to her talk about the topic for a few minutes and left Best Buy feeling sick and angry. I thought about how much of what she said sounded just like Job's friends as they tried to get to the heart of why he was so afflicted. I thought about how far off their counsel was about the methods and purposes of God. I thought about how Job is believed by most scholars to be the oldest book in the Bible in terms of when it was written and yet we still have this kind of teaching going on.

I admit to having ignored most teaching on prosperity because the idea that God is more concerned about my happiness than my holiness flies in the face of what I know about guys like Jeremiah and Paul. The whole topic gets screwed up because most people latch onto a false economy when we talk about how God prospers people.

The glory (and money) seems to be found for preachers that can convince people that God wants to give them...things. But the "things" God wants to give us are things like love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self control. He wants to give us things like relationships that can be easy or hard and things like suffering so that we can share in the fellowship of the sufferings of Jesus.

I was upset at the teaching that I heard because, to me, it represented prosperity at the level of material well being, but ignored the wealth of knowing God better whether through the prosperity of resources or the prosperity of experience that brings us to a larger understanding of who He is. God is in both. God prospers people through whatever methods He ordains to use.

I think C.S. Lewis said it best when he said that he who has God and everything has the exact same thing as he who has God and nothing.

A Shift in the Winds

In the never ending ebb and flow of frustration and contentment, I believe I've shifted back to contentment for the time being. This week at work has been much improved over previous weeks and I haven't even dreaded going the last few days (except for having to brave the cold when I'd rather just stay inside).

How long will contentment set up residence? I don't know. I remember a few years ago reading the Psalms straight through in one day from The Message paraphrase. I feel like the pacing of that experience is a solid parallel to where I'm at right now. Songs of great praise, assurance and comfort sitting right next to songs of lament, longing and separation. I don't know when my next lament will be, but I'll treasure the contentment while it lasts.

Hell Freezes Over and So Does South Dakota

I startled several people at work last night by providing one of the signs of the apocalypse. I stayed for overtime. Eric, one of my teammates, reached down to touch the floor to see if hell had frozen over when I signed up for it last week. The main reason I had signed up was that Amy and the kids were planning on going to Sheldon last night for a jewelry party and a chance to hang out with cousins and grandparents. The weather turned, plans changed, they stayed home and I was left with a midnight-2am OT commitment. I was the only one on the team to stay, so I had the area all to myself. I got quite a bit done and it wasn't even an unpleasant experience. It also paid for part of Amy's birthday presents for next week.



The reason Amy's plans changed is that we got blasted by winter. I'm reminded of the part on "Monty Python and the Holy Grail" where the seasons of their journey are chronicled and it decides to skip a season all together. Friday I wore shorts. Yesterday it snowed fairly well into early afternoon, the wind picked up to over 40 mph out of the northwest and it was frigid. Today is only supposed to get to the mid-20's, but with the wind still howling it's going to feel a whole lot colder.

Welcome back to South Dakota.

Brian Moss on iTunes

Our good friend Brian Moss recently announced the addition of his album "Prayerbook No.1" to iTunes. The songs are inspired by the first 15 Psalms and are in regular rotation on my personal playlist. You can check out samples or download individual tracks. For more information about the project and about Brian, check him out at http://prayerbookproject.blogs.com/.

Recent Musings on Direction

I've been reading Dallas Willard's "Hearing God" recently and have been thinking a lot about our current situation and what I'm actually supposed to be doing with my life. You know, light stuff. I feel like I've been spinning my wheels a lot lately with different ideas of what I could be doing. I've got a few ideas for articles or even books, song ideas and even more ministry ideas, but I hesitate to move because a great deal of it feels like me trying to invent my way out of my current job situation.

Now, I understand that God often moves in our ingenuity to produce what He desires, so it's not like I'm simply sitting back and waiting for explicit instruction from God on what I should do. I am seeking direction, but I believe that God is capable of redirecting my steps or correcting an ill advised course in order to place me where I should be. He's God. He can do that. It's that certainty that gives more courage to our steps when we feel like we aren't certain what to do. Our uncertainty can lead to incapacitation, much in the same way that our rashness can lead to disaster. It's a dance where if we step in the wrong place at the wrong time it can be as bad as if we stand stone cold.

One thought that occurred to me as I read this morning is how much I value myself. I feel like I have gifts, abilities and experience that could be put to much better use than my current situation allows. Many of the ideas that I have for projects right now are motivated by my self-perceived usefulness.

All of that flies in the face of something that I know intellectually, but is having a hard time taking root in my heart: God doesn't need me to accomplish what He wants to accomplish. If God needed me, He wouldn't be God. If He is not all sufficient, complete in and of Himself, He is not who He says He is in Scripture. My importance is dependent upon His glory, not the other way around.

At the same time, God desires me deeply, loves me immeasurably and wants my heart to beat in rhythm with His. He is shaping me for whatever purpose He has. Do I think that He is done with me and that I am no longer of any use? Of course not. Do I think He will waste my gifts, abilities and experience by putting me in places I can never use them again. No. Do I think He might be bringing other gifts and abilities to the fore by giving me experiences that make me more fit for the future He has designed me for. Almost certainly.

That hope doesn't preclude the fact that at 3:30 pm today I will go to a job I have no interest in for a company I don't really care about to do a task that I'm not especially gifted for. "These light and momentary troubles" is a phrase that comes to mind often, but my definition of momentary is well off the mark in these circumstances.

A Continued Longing for Emergence

Hanfield UMC, where I was on staff for eight years, was definitely not an emergent congregation (although we began seeing elements start to creep in about a year ago). This was one of the reasons why a restlessness that had been building in me came to a head at the end of 2004.

Ironically enough, the church we're at now, New Hope Family Church (where Amy and I volunteer) is even less emergent than Hanfield. With Hanfield, there was a part of the congregation that we knew would resonate with some of what the emerging church involves in terms of methodology and philosophy. Hanfield is a multigenerational congregation without one dominant demographic segment to drive everything that happens.

New Hope is a church that is dominated by young families. Most of the church (which runs about 125 in attendance) is made up of couples in their late 20's or 30's with kids under the age of ten. There are a lot of the stereotypically overstretched young families with two working parents and kids in a billion activities who come to church in drive through fashion. I don't say that to be negative, just to give an honest assessment of what I see.

There are a lot of good things happening at the church and Amy and I wouldn't be involved if we didn't believe in the church's mission and leadership. I think there are a lot of possibilities for the future of this church. I just wonder whether emergent theology is a part of it. Regardless, the change in scenery has been good for me. I even get to volunteer and be somebody else's "go-to" for awhile which is a nice change of pace.

I'm still waiting to see what God has in store as far as my long term involvement in ministry. I'm having a hard time believing that the experiences of the last eight years couldn't be put to more use than they are currently. I still don't know if it will eventually lead back to vocational ministry, but my passion for the emerging church is something I'm having a hard time finding an outlet for and may require larger involvement in leadership in a church setting.

The Therapy of a Day Off and a Box of Beans

Shortly after I wrote last night's inspirational, hope filled entry, I decided I needed to enjoy something and settled on my "Mr. Bean" box set on DVD. 90 minutes of Bean and I was feeling a bit better about life, the universe and everything (except the job).

Today is a day off. Amy and I are helping Hal out with a chapel service at the University of Sioux Falls tonight, so I got the night off from work. It's just the three of us, so we'll be going acoustic for the evening. I went out and bought a djembe today which I'll bring along in case it might be of use.

I spent a good part of the day working on the basement. It is now looking fairly organized and we are almost completely finished unpacking the house. There's a few boxes on the back porch and a few more on the way from Yankton that will have to fit into the scheme I've got going down there.

Jim and Marilyn will be here in a bit to watch the kids while we do the chapel service. It will be the first time they've seen the place since they helped us unload the truck a few weeks ago. I actually feel pretty good about the digs. It is definitely livable and we only have another 11 months on the lease. Hopefully by the time it's up, we'll have a new job and a sold house in Indiana so we can buy something here.

I think being in this small a place has actually been good for us. We'll be glad to be able to expand a bit, but I think we'll be able to set our sights on something smaller than we were looking at before we decided to rent. We've discovered that we can make a smaller space work and that we have entirely too much crap. I smell a yard sale, Summer 2006.

Holding On

I don't know how much longer I'll have to hold on at the job. I found myself praying that I would be content where I am after last night and then tonight was worse. Prayer in reverse? I've been applying for things for a week or so again in the hopes that something will come along to replace what I'm doing now. It doesn't have to be a better job, just one that pays about the same but has better hours.

My attitude hasn't been the greatest, but the "choose your mood" philosophy is crap. I believe in making the best of a situation, but the situation is what it is and even if I decide to choose to love it, I'll never be able to deceive myself into believing that I do.

It would probably be easier if there was any light at the end of the tunnel, but I almost feel like applying for other jobs is simply going through the motions at this point. Nobody seems at all interested, but I keep applying so they can keep ignoring me.

Still praying for something to change...soon.

Anne Rice Interview on cnn.com

Came across CNN's version of the Newsweek story that I mentioned a few weeks ago about Anne Rice. The story can be found at http://www.cnn.com/2005/SHOWBIZ/books/11/07/books.anne.rice.ap/index.html and contains a link to a video segment of an interview with Rice where she talks about her return to faith.

A Day at the Cheese

There's nothing to make you feel better about your current job than spending a few hours at Chuck E. Cheese and contemplating the desperation that must have lead to some of what goes on there. The music and video segments were especially thought provoking as, seemingly, fully functioning adults dressed in all manner of costume (regular and mascot) and were made to look foolish while trying to pretend to play instruments and dance to a beat obviously different than the song that was paired with the imagery. I will go to work today with a whole new appreciation for what I do. That appreciation is sure to leave after about 30 minutes.

The party at the Cheese was good, though. Amy appreciated the fact that so many of the details and planning that she has had to do in the last few years were already taken care of (especially after being at the church for four hours or so leading worship and taking care of technical systems while the staff were away). The food was unremarkable, but the food is hardly the deal at the Cheese. Plenty of games and activities to keep the kids busy. Xander probably could have spent even more time there. Maia, not so much. She needed to get home for some beauty rest.

We had a lot of grandpas, grandmas and all the cousins and aunts and uncles. This was the first birthday that Xander's had a chance to see this much family and he loved it. My folks came up early with my Grandpa and Grandma Svaleson from Fort Dodge and we had a chance to show them our new digs and talk for a bit before the party. I've seen them twice in a month now. Over the past several years I've seen them maybe twice a year. Thoughts like that make me really glad to be where we are.

We got home in time to get the kiddos to bed and watch some "Lost" on DVD (thanks Eric for the extended loan) and crashed hard.

An eventful day (and tomorrow's gonna be busier)

Had a great, long, frustrating, enjoyable day today. I took Xander to his first football game today to see the University of South Dakota vs. The University of North Dakota. USD is my alma mater and this was a chance to revisit the Dome, see the Marching Coyotes (Amy and I are former members) and see a game that would decide the North Central Conference champ in NCAA Division II.

The 'Yotes destroyed the Fighting Sioux and won their first conference title since 1978. It was a fun game to watch (if you're a USD fan) and I was glad that it got to be Xander's first. He enjoyed the great catches, kicks, blimp (inside the dome) and the scoreboard/jumbotron that showed airplanes dropping footballs that looked like bombs into the stadium every time USD scored (we got to see it a lot).

It was a great trip for me also since I got to see my prof, Rolf Olson, for the first time in a long time. Rolf was always somebody that I enjoyed being around and was an important player in getting us to Northern Colorado for our grad work as well. He always has an easy smile, gregarious personality and generous spirit. I'm hoping we'll have the chance to reconnect a little more now that I'm back in the area.

We got home about 6:30 or so and after a quick dinner, I was off to the church to reset some things, tweak some media files and make sure that everything is ready for tomorrow's services. Pastor Chip and Hal are both gone, so Amy and I are responsible for a lot in the service. The guest speaker, Tom Henderson, is someone that has pitched in at New Hope in the past as a worship leader and speaker and I'm looking forward to working with him tomorrow.

I was hoping that I might get home about 8:00 or 8:30. It turned out to be 10:45 after several technical glitches turned up. I'm usually pretty solid on trouble shooting systems (both sound and media), but this was equipment that I've never worked with and a newer version of Media Shout than I've worked with before, so the trouble shooting was a bit more complicated due to unfamiliarity. But, after 3.5 hours, everything seems to be a go for tomorrow.

I'm excited for tomorrow. I invited some friends from work to church to "see what I did in a former life." I'm hoping a few will make it. Later in the day, we get to go to Chuck E. Cheese for Xander's sixth birthday party (today was part one of our celebration, his actual birthday is Tuesday). It will be pretty much just family there since we still don't know too many other five/six year olds in Sioux Falls, but it should be fun.

By the time the day is done tomorrow, I may need a weekend to recover. Unfortunately, it's back to work at 3:30 on Monday. I do get Thursday off to play for a chapel service at the University of Sioux Falls, but I may just have to settle for rest wherever I can find it this week.

Fear the Sneeze

I wrote the other day about a stupid injury I sustained and the after effects. It has subsided to a certain extent and I'm feeling much better, but it's still painful and is slowing me down a bit. The worst thing is the knowledge that certain things are going to cause the pain to spike.

The most painful thing going right now is the sneeze. Every sneeze doubles me over as fire shoots through my entire left side, tearing through me like the slash of a knife. The pain is bad enough, but the anticipation that comes with a sneeze has become a somewhat panic filled event. My mind races trying to warn me of what is coming and assessing whether there is anything to be done to prevent the event from occurring. I have failed entirely in every attempt to suppress the sneeze. I now fear the sneeze.

Kyle Lake's Death

I read on cnn.com this morning about the death of Kyle Lake who was the Pastor at University Baptist Church in Waco, TX where David Crowder is also on staff. At first I didn't realize who it was, but when it hit me that it was UBC, my jaw just dropped. We've heard stories of how this church was birthed and feel connected to it because of the artistic expression that has come out of it.

The full story that I read can be found at http://www.cnn.com/2005/US/10/31/pastor.electrocuted.ap/index.html, but the gist is that he was electrocuted during a baptism at the church on Sunday morning. He leaves behind a wife, a five year old and two three year olds. More info is available at www.ubcwaco.org.

It's one of those situations that absolutely escapes me. I can't see any purpose in it. I know that God is good, but events like this make you wonder what He's doing.

A Rather Painful Day

A good deal of today was spent with clenched teeth and bent over posture as an injury that I sustained yesterday decided to get worse before it gets better. I was helping Hal reset the sound system at the church on Sunday after a special service offsite that morning and slipped while trying to step from the floor to the stage (a three foot or so step). I came down hard on my left side on the edge of the stage. Hal asked me if I was alright and I told him I thought so. It was a stupid, clumsy thing to do and I knew there would be some pain from it for the next few days, but it wasn't too painful to stop helping at that point.

I was a little restless last night with the pain. I am usually a belly sleeper, but found that I could not sleep on my belly or left side last night. Every time I made a move, it caused a bit of pain.

When I got up, it was noticeably more painful. I kept thinking that it was just the day after effects of an injury and that it would probably be more stiff than painful. I was sadly mistaken. As the day progressed, the pain got worse. I chased ibuprofin with Tylenol and a little something to clean out the digestive track. It turns out that some of those muscles are vital to the success of everyday bodily functions and I required a little extra help from a bottle.

By the time lunch rolled around, every movement hurt. I started to consider whether I could work today or not. The verdict was still out when at 2:50 I could barely move without immense pain. I got myself ready and drove to work figuring I could at least start the shift and would probably leave early. Thankfully, the pain got better and by my dinner break, I was doing well enough to do some of those bodily things that I was unable to earlier in the day. I was able to do the full shift, and while I have some pain, it's nothing compared to what it was ten hours ago.

Anne Rice's Jesus Book

I just read an article that our friend Angie sent our way from Newsweek about Anne Rice's return to faith and her upcoming book about Jesus. Should be interesting. In college, I read anything of hers I could get my hands on. She's always been a compelling, almost classic style writer with a vivid imagination and a way of drawing you deeply into the characters that she's created. I'm not necessarily endorsing the book for anybody else, but I'll be reading it.

The book brings up some interesting discussion about faith and art. Amy told me that she had looked at a few blogs that were more or less writing Rice off because once an artist becomes a Christian they spend all of their energy defending their newfound faith and the art takes a back seat. An interesting perspective, but a poor stereotype of artists of faith.

It is true in a great many cases that an artist's popularity after coming to faith is less than they experienced prior to making that declaration, but it is not always the case. Guys like Johnny Cash and C.S. Lewis seemed to do alright. I think the way artists are judged in the before/after mentality is unduly harsh. They tend to suffer the inevitable comparisons between their latter work and their former work with a pronouncement of faith as a clear dividing line. It is unfair because we are not before/after people. We are people in transition. Yes, we have defining moments, but those defining moments are most often the culmination of other moments, not a black/white encounter unrelated to all that has come before.

The before/after comparisons will certainly be the challenge that Rice faces. I've read a lot of the Vampire Chronicles, the Mayfair Witch books and a lot of her other works and this will almost certainly put her in another genre. I have a great deal of respect for her as an author and artist though and believe that her style, descriptive narrative and engaging character treatments will continue as long as she's an author. Do I think she'll still be as popular? Probably not. Do I think she'll continue to strive to make great art? Absolutely. Many artists take some time to find firm footing when changing mediums. My hope is that her effort will be rewarding for her as an artist and a sister in Christ.

Missing Ministry

I've said it in a few different ways over the last several months, but this week really has me missing vocational ministry. Sunday we were at Hanfield after loading the last of our possessions into the truck on Saturday. It was a creative service that made me proud and sad. Proud because I felt that the planning was a continuation of the direction that we were headed while still on staff there. Sad because we weren't able to be a part of that continued journey. I'm sure that it was a combination of missing the creative process and missing the people involved, but it brought to light just how keenly I miss being an integral part of a creative process.

On the plus side, Amy and I had a meeting with Chip and Hal from New Hope and Tom Henderson who will be guest speaking on Nov. 6th because Amy and I get to take responsibility for the music on the Nov. 6th service while Chip and Hal are out of town. I'm looking forward to getting to lead again, even if it's only for one Sunday. It was nice to be in a planning setting again, to talk about different options and try to make the elements of the service flow together again. You'd think after doing that week in, week out for eight years that I'd welcome the break, but I miss it a lot.

I still don't have a handle on what God is doing in this season, but I find myself thinking about ministry more and more often. I don't know if I'll ever get the chance to do it in a vocational setting, but I'm thankful to get to stretch those muscles a little every now and then.

Extended Absence Explained

Okay, I've been a bit delinquent. I'm sure the literally handful of you that will ever read this have been waiting in rapt anticipation. We have been moving this week and are finally starting to feel at home in our place in Sioux Falls.

We left one week ago and drove overnight from Sioux Falls, SD to Marion, IN. Amy and Xander picked me up after work (Maia was with my folks) at midnight and we arrived shortly after 1:00 the next afternoon at Keith Connor's place. Keith had a gig over the weekend and told me to stop by if we got there before he left. We then picked up the truck, dropped it off at the house and went over to Brent and Kathy Williams' place where we enjoyed tremendous hospitality. It isn't everywhere that you can show up after sleeping just a few hours on the road and grab a shower and a nap before socializing with friends you haven't seen in months! We had great chili (not a soup, for the record) and had fun hanging out and catching up.

Saturday was moving day. We met at our house at 10:00 and started loading the truck. It was primarily furniture with some boxes and odds and ends to boot. We weren't too far in when we realized we didn't have enough truck to do the job. We continued to plug away anyway and made plans over lunch to add a 5' x 8' trailer to the equation. A little while into loading truck and trailer, we still weren't sure we had enough truck, but when the doors were pulled shut at 7:00 pm, we had everything that was going with us.

Sunday morning was hard. We went to Hanfield and got there a little bit before the end of 1st service, attended 2nd service and hung out into the 3rd service before starting the drive. It was great to see so many friends and enjoyed the service a lot, but it felt like we spent the entire morning saying goodbye again. We crammed as much catching up as we could into the conversations we did have, but we wished we could have spent more time talking to everybody. I was especially sorry that I missed my friend (and new dad) Tim Lehrian who I waved at down the hall, but never actually got to talk to. I'm also sorry to have missed guys like Ryan Fox, Keaton Whitehead (and his wonderful family), the Hoeksemas and so many others that have been such a huge part of our lives over the last eight years.

We drove to West Branch, IA after services (Amy and Xander in the car and me in the truck & trailer) and stayed with friend and fellow Sheldon HS alum Margaret (Oosterhuis) Duhn. Amy and the kids had stayed with Margaret and Brian last month, but I hadn't seen them in about three years. It was a great chance to catch up some and, again, we were blessed by the hospitality.

We arrived back in Sioux Falls on Monday night where my folks, Amy's Dad, Mom and Step-Dad and a handful of folks from the church here helped us get things off of the trucks and into our new digs. We pretty much decided that if we didn't have a definite place for an item, that it was going to the basement. Well, the basement looks like our truck threw up all over it. We've been getting things put together and organized since Monday night and we're beginning to make some decent headway.

I want to give special thanks to Brent and Kathy for their love and hospitality (wish we'd have had more time to just hang out), Kent & Melissa for watching Xander, LJ, Bryon, Dave, Luke, James, Mr. Brown, Kent, Jack and the piano movers for their help in Marion, Margo, Brian and their beautiful kids for letting us disrupt their lives for a night, our family and church family from New Hope Family Church for their help on the final stretch. We definitely felt loved, supported and encouraged through the entire weekend. Can't wait to head back to Marion for a visit without physical labor!

The Best Laid Plans...

We're getting ready to head to Indiana to pick up our furniture. Not that we've minded living out of boxes and not knowing where anything is, but our place has felt less settled than a college apartment since we got here.

Today was a day of preparation to leave as I was going to drive to Sheldon, IA to meet my folks and drop off Maia. Last night at the park, our plans changed a bit when Amy and the kids were at the park. Amy was going down a bumpy slide with Maia in her lap when Maia's right foot caught behind her and she hurt her ankle. Amy called me at work and said she wasn't sure if it was broken or sprained. After conferring with her mom, Amy decided to let Maia sleep it off and reevaluate our options in the morning.

This morning we decided we'd best be cautious and have her checked out rather than just pass her off to Grandma and Grandpa not knowing what her status was. We took her to the doctor where they did x-rays and confirmed that it is only a sprain. She'll be tender on it for several days and needs to have it iced a bit, which is a near impossibility with a 16 month old. We worked it out with my folks to meet in Rock Rapids, IA this afternoon to send her with them while still giving me time to get back for work at 3:30.

Tomorrow we pack, return a few used furniture items, exchange cars in Yankton and after I get off work at midnight we will begin the overnight drive to Marion, hopefully arriving in time to pick up our rental truck before the office closes.

At least I'll get a few days off from work.

Our Weekend

We got back today from a weekend at my Mom and Dad's "helping out" with an art show. This was the second year for the "Artisans Road Trip" which featured over 50 Iowa artists from 11 different counties. This tour is interesting in the fact that instead of having all of the artists gather in one place, they are allowed to set up shop wherever they happen to be and the crowd comes to them. In Dad's case, this meant that people came to the farm and saw his pieces exhibited in the "Corn Crib Gallery." Mom and Dad painted and decorated it in anticipation of last year's show and it winds up being a very unique gallery space. Outside is a full view of the Waterman Creek valley and people drive past Dad's prairie restoration project to get to the house.

Things were down in numbers from last year, but it was an enjoyable weekend nonetheless. My contribution was to talk to people during the course of the two days, which I loved. We had conversations ranging from the weather to worship theology, so I was pretty much in my element. I also got to see several family members including my grandparents, my Mom's cousin Nancy and my Uncle Marv and Aunt Shirley. I also got to hang out with my sister for a good part of the weekend, so it was great for me.

I also enjoyed watching my father, the artist, get to be the center of attention. I enjoyed seeing people respond to his work as his photos, drawings, paintings and silk screens grabbed their attention and imagination. Dad does a great job at capturing an experience through his impression of it, something lost by a great number of more profitable wildlife artists (like Terry Redlin and every Redlin wanna-be). Dad's pieces allow you to breathe, interpret and explore everything presented in a way that respects the observer's intelligence and ability to grasp the subject. I love the fact that Dad has his own style that continues to evolve as his perception and technique have changed over the years.

For more on Dad's work, visit http://www.morrisons-studio.com/.

Forced Commute

I'm on my lunch break at work which is at a different time than all of my teammates, so I've got a little time to kill before I get back to it.

Amy and the kids left for Yankton this afternoon. I was going to take advantage of their departure and go for a decent ride of about 20-25 miles before work. Before they left, I wanted to pump the tires up on the Neon with the compressor in our van. By the time I finished with the tires, I figured I'd best check the van to see if it would start since we've been having trouble with it. It didn't. We tried to jump it before they left, but it didn't seem to want to take a charge.

I decided that rather than hold Amy up (she was already running a little behind) I would forgo my long ride and ride to work instead. I'm hoping that maybe I'll be able to try again tomorrow morning before Amy and the kids get back. My new job has definitely put a kink in my ride routine. Even so, I have logged more miles this year than in any other calendar year in my life. Taking three months off work will do that to a guy.

Sunshine & Lollipops?

The discontented wife chimes in. I'm not supposed to do this. This is Matt's blog, not mine. But I've found it interesting that this is the only way I know what's going on in my own husband's head much of the time. For the most part, you get the news the same way I do.

The birthday party last night was fun. The drive- not so great. I had ONE thing to do yesterday, and I messed it up (typical). I forgot the present. I was over halfway to Mitchell when I realized it, and was about 45 minutes ahead of schedule, so I turned around and went back. Why did I go back? I don't know. I guess I'm a glutton for punishment. The kids really enjoyed the extra hour or so in the car. By the time we got to the party, we were 45 minutes late, and I was a little jittery from driving -let's just say a little faster than normal to get there. I left Sioux Falls at 5 minutes until 6 and walked into the party at the Pizza Ranch in Mitchell at 6:45. Let's just say, I may have beat a land-speed record.

But hey! At least all 4 wheels stayed on the car this time!

So we got a letter from our new & improved realtor yesterday. She's recommending that we drop the price of our house, based on a comparative market analysis, to less than we bought it for. WHAT?! This would absolutely negate the already slim possibility of buying a house in Sioux Falls, possibly ever. I guess there's a bright side. Maybe we could sell the lawnmower.

I am doing Beth Moore's study, "Beloved Disciple" and this week, we studied the passage in John about Jesus being the vine and we are the branches. She asked the question, "Do you ever feel like God is picking on you?" The thought behind that being, that He may be pruning me. Great. I love pruning.

I don't think I have the right attitude about all this this morning. (Is it obvious?)


Amy

Happy Birthday, Dad!

Today is my Dad's birthday and last day of work at a job that has held him hostage for over two years. It's a day that we've all been praying for for a long, long time. He's been counting down the weeks to this day since he started the job and I'm thrilled for him that he gets one last hurrah Wednesday night before he takes early retirement. The road he's been on for the last two years has paved the way for me to deal with what I'm going through with employment with much more patience and understanding. He and Mom have been able to understand our situation much more clearly since it has been their story for the last two years.

There is nobody that I identify with more strongly than my Dad. We are so similar in so many ways, from sense of humor to temperament. The comparison brings up the whole nature vs. nurture thing, but I know that I am who I am because of my Dad. Much of his temperament found a natural home in me and much of my outlook on life and living is in direct response to the example that he has set throughout his life. I probably understand his struggles more deeply than he realizes, just as he probably understands mine more deeply than I realize. Because of that realization, I don't idealize him, but I respect him much more because I know him as he truly is. He is a man I am proud of and a man whose influence I am deeply grateful for.

Happy birthday, Dad with my undying love and thanks,

Matt

10/11 update (on 10/12)

I will not concede that a day has ended until I've gone to bed...

Things around here continue. That is to say, we continue to exist and take what life is giving us with the best of humor and utmost patience (at least as much as we can muster). Since I wrote last we've: missed a wedding due to a sick child, played for church (my first time, Amy's second), worked, played and dreamed of better days. I find myself looking for the first hints of the vision becoming reality and wonder whether I'll have the patience to even see the thing begin.

I told Amy today (yesterday) about an idea to get us a little more established in the church arts community in the area by hosting a vocal workshop. The idea is that if we can do a workshop on a topic or two with fairly wide appeal, we can begin to develop some relationships with people in the area from other churches, in the hope that word of mouth will spread and allow us to begin to explore more specialized topics on a more regular basis with more people involved. I'll probably mention this at lunch tomorrow (today, okay, I've got to stop that) with Hal, our worship leader at New Hope Family Church, to get his take on it. Amy and I are having to look at this as a personal investment with mailings, flyers and other expenses coming out of our already empty pockets. I'll be looking into some grant opportunities in the months to come, but hope we can get the ball rolling on something soon.

It was good to play again on Sunday. We thought we were going to be out of town at Amy's cousin's wedding, but Xander woke up Saturday morning at 3:00 by throwing up. Instead of heading to Minnesota, Amy and the kids came back here from Yankton and we stayed put. Since we were around, we gave Hal a call to see if we could sit in. I was a bit nervous since I haven't played electric in almost three months and we were doing songs I hadn't heard and others that I knew, but in different keys and/or with different chord progressions. I hacked my way through the sound check/rehearsal and felt embarrassed. I told myself that I wasn't playing to impress anybody, just to worship, which seemed to help quite a bit as the service itself went much better. Any time you play with new people it takes a little time to get comfortable and to know how you fit in. It will still take us some time. I just wish I was able to be at the mid-week rehearsals since that would expedite matters a great deal. That would require either a job change on my part or a schedule change on the church's part. Neither is likely, so here we are. We'll make the best of it, but I hope to prove, over time, to be a consistent, reliable contributor to the team. Sunday I just felt like a warm body for most of the morning.

Amy and the kids got to go to a birthday party in Mitchell for our nephew Chase today while I went to work. Everybody was in bed by the time I got home tonight, but I see balloons hovering at ceiling level, so I'm going to assume that they made it there and back and went to the party.

Today (literally) is my Dad's birthday, an occasion that deserves its own post...

U2 on Conan

Okay, I intended to watch it and then head off to read and go to sleep, but I'm too juiced now. First, a disclaimer: I believe U2 to be the most important musical act on the planet. Argue all you want, but here's a band that's making music that packs as much of a punch in the marketplace now as ever, consistently shows growth artistically and matters outside of music. Tonight's show was a fan's dream.

They not only sounded good, but they enjoyed the total experience and were given an opportunity to continue to promote social justice issues on a stage most politicians and activists will never get to. They took the comedic parts of the show with a great sense of humor, not taking themselves too seriously and even had fun with it. Musically, they pack a punch that shows the singer, guitar, bass, drums combination can produce a thick sound that rivals much larger groups.

The part that really stirred me up was Conan's interview with Bono on the Nobel Prize nomination, the One Campaign and other social justice issues. Whether Bono wins the Nobel Prize or not, his impact on our culture's perspective of global responsibility is unmatched in this generation. He helps us to realize better how interconnected we are, how we can't just ignore a problem because it seems far away if we have the means to help bring relief to human suffering.

I'm pleased that he's caught the attention of the church in America as well. I believe the church has begun to awaken to the fact that we've abdicated social justice to a great extent and allowed others to fill a role that is mandated to the church through scripture. My hope is that people like Bono will continue to challenge us to be active in providing relief where we can, knowing that it is in the providing of basic needs that many will allow an audience for the Gospel of Christ.

Stuff and things like that

I'm home from work, Amy and the kids are in Yankton, I may as well write.

Today was a great day. I woke at 10:05am to the realization that we were supposed to meet some friends from college between 10:30 and 11:00. Amy had forgotten totally, so we barely managed to make ourselves presentable and arrived right at 11:00. We hung out for the next few hours with Tom and Julie Green and Tom's sister, Debbie Green-Kuchta at Debbie's house on the west side of Sioux Falls. It was the first time any of us had seen each other since Tom and Julie's wedding in 1995!

We have traded some emails over the years and were able to fill in some of the details that often get missed in emails. Debbie's home was beautiful, Tom and Julie's kids were too and it was great to hear what they've been up to since we saw each other last. It was another opportunity to share stories of how God has worked in each of our lives since college. We are different people, but have more in common because of the brotherhood and sisterhood that we share in Christ than we ever have.

I'm also nearly done with my first week of work in my desk, doing what I'll be doing as long as I work at this place in this department. It's been okay with some good days and a few killer ones to boot. Tonight was great. We've been doing on the job training which means we get to ask a lot of questions. When one of our trainers came to me tonight, I actually got to tell him that I didn't need any help for the first time all week. I took a few more chances on getting things wrong, but figured since they are checking all of our stuff to make sure we get it right, I still have a bit of a safety net.

Since Amy and the kids are gone, I'm hoping to do a little recording tomorrow. Nothing new, just wanting to revisit and rework a few songs that I've written over the last few years with my new preamp recorder on the computer. I bought this thing in August and tested it out but haven't had a chance to actually work with it on anything real yet. I'm excited, but know that opportunities are going to be few and far between since Amy, the kids and our upstairs neighbor all need to be out of the house before I can actually record. That's a lot of conditions placed on a process that demands inspiration. Oh well.

U2 was on Conan O'Brien tonight, so I think I'll watch that, finish my Ludlum book and go to bed.