The Offseason has Finally Arrived

I put in my first session on the bike trainer today. This to me is the real start of winter. It's the point where I have to quit living in denial and set about the hard work of convincing myself that this will all be worth it in the spring when the snow melts, the roads become rideable and all is right with the world again.

This year discipline will be the name of the game. I've always had the luxury of riding indoors just to scratch the itch to ride and keep from completely losing my fitness. I recently agreed to do my first race ever which will be an ultra marathon bike race from the Wyoming border to the Minnesota border on Highway 212 in northern South Dakota. I'll be part of a two man team with Bryan Brinkman, my supervising manager at Scheels, Bryan riding the 230 mile leg of the race while I will be responsible for 190 miles. It is a continuous race, so we're looking at a lot of saddle time and a lot of suffering.

The race is slated for August 13 which means that I have eight months and one day to get myself whipped into shape. It's going to require a lot of time on the trainer which should set me up for a lot of time in the saddle in the spring. I decided to start the work in earnest today with a two hour session.

Two hours is a long time on the trainer for me. I would rather hit it hard for 45 minutes and get off the thing, but 45 minute sessions aren't going to help me build up for the challenge ahead. The trainer requires so much more discipline than going out for a ride. Because you don't have the natural motion that you would riding on the road, your body hurts more, sooner and it's harder to find relief. My butt hurts more after an hour on the trainer than it does after riding 100 miles.

I knew that I was going to hate doing today's session before it even started, but was determined to go two hours. I was really ready to call it quits after 90 minutes, but I figured that if I'm really going to be ready for the Gut Check then I'm going to have to get used to suffering and starting my training by shortening a session because I was uncomfortable probably wouldn't help build the discipline that I'll need to finish a 190 mile ride.

I managed to finish, but was looking at my watch about every 30-40 seconds hoping that the time was passing more quickly than it really was. I was definitely ready to be done. The only problem is, I should probably do it again tomorrow.

What do we call ourselves?

I love the church that I'm serving. I will admit that Mercy Church has been a hard place to describe to people though as I've had conversations with friends (both from within and outside of the church). We, as people, tend to like to use labels to help us better identify and categorize the world around us, but we, as a church, don't tend to fit neatly into the boxes provided by current church labels.

Mercy is the combination of a church plant from the Christian and Missionary Alliance and a traditional Mennonite congregation with 50 years of history in Sioux Falls, SD. We merged the two congregations nearly two years ago and are actually fully affiliated with two different denominations. Our hope is that this shows a desire to break down walls between churches, denominations and generations in order to better represent the unity of believers in the Kingdom of God.

The diversity of where we come from is pretty broad. Not only Alliance and Mennonite, but we have leadership with background ranging from Assemblies of God to United Methodist and members with background in Lutheran, Reformed, Catholic and Faith Church traditions (among others) all gathering together to worship and fellowship together. We also strive to be a place where people that are simply exploring Christ would be able to belong even before they believe. Because of this diversity, it's difficult to know what labels to attach and if they will be helpful or harmful.

I think this page does a good job of summing up where we're coming from in terms of doctrine and we're very much about connecting in meaningful relationship with one another through service and fellowship. I think it's a little harder for us to define ourselves stylistically.

The first service is definitely traditional and, therefore, a bit easier to identify. Believe it or not, this service is growing in both numbers and generational diversity. The second service has tried on a few labels, but still hasn't found anything that fits comfortably. Contemporary works for some people, but conjures up images of poorly done, 1980's choruses for others (myself included). Emerging works for some, but has taken a beating in some Christian circles because of a few leaders within the emerging movement whose teaching skews toward a more liberal theology. Fortunately, those few teachers do not represent the whole of the emerging movement. Unfortunately, so much emphasis has been placed on them that the term "emerging" has become synonymous with heresy in some circles.

Amy had a conversation with a student this week and let the term "emerging church" slip and his reaction was immediately one of distrust. We had the conversation a year ago at Mercy Church about the use of the term as well and several of our own members had a strong reaction against it.

There's a tendency with any kind of movement for a strong initial push followed by a period of course correction and mini-reform that help keep it from running too far out of bounds. I think the emerging church is in that correction period, but I fear that it may not be given much of a chance by some people (who would resonate with a lot of its core values) because of the way that it has been negatively portrayed in some circles.

So if we're not "contemporary" and we're not "emerging", what are we? We're using the term "renewal service" for the time being. We are contemporary in the fact that we use a band of instruments and musical styles that are more contemporary to our culture. We are emerging in the fact that we use ancient/future approaches to worship that encourage the use of historic creeds and lectionary materials and are moving toward the use of multiple response mechanisms in our worship (song, prayer, stations, communion) in order to help people connect to God in a way that is most natural to their personality and wiring.

Whatever we are, I'm loving the way that God is shaping and challenging us to live authentic faith in a diverse community. I'm also loving watching real people undergo real life change as we encounter Jesus together.

Anticipation

We arrived for vacation in Wisconsin Dells yesterday after about six hours in the car. It's been a vacation a long time in the making. Our last full family vacation was two years ago when we went to Minneapolis for a few days.

We had debated about where to go this summer for awhile and Wisconsin Dells was the destination of choice. I had driven through last summer on my way to Trek's dealer show in Madison and had thought this would be a good place to bring the family.

Waiting until we had less than two weeks before school starts only heightened the anticipation and by the time we left yesterday, we were all ready.

The thing that will probably stay in my mind from yesterday was Maia's reaction to our accommodations. We opted to stay at a place that was a bit more economical for the first few days before heading to one of the resorts with an indoor/outdoor waterpark for the last two nights. The hope was that the kids would be content with their surroundings so that they could better enjoy the last few days that much more.

The place we are curently staying is the Blackhawk Motel. It's an older style, family oriented place that's pretty low fuss, but nice enough. The room is your typical, enter from outside, two bed unit.

I suspect that anticipating this trip for weeks, partnered with a long car ride, inspired Maia's response. When we opened the door and went inside, she said, "It's beautiful!"

I was caught off guard at her assessment of this very basic, non-descript room, but I began to wonder what her reaction will be when we get to the resort in a few days.
It also got me thinking about how often we respond this way with God. He sends us on a journey and in our anticipation we fall in love with a point on the journey when God is leading to something even better.

There are a couple of potential pitfalls when this happens. Sometimes we're tempted to embrace the first place to the point where we can't seem to leave it. Sometimes we're so focused on the second place that we can't enjoy the first place properly.

Life is a journey and I hope that I'm able to enjoy each part of it; the people, the experiences and the lessons learned without getting stuck in a moment or without getting frustrated that I'm not farther along.

Lord, teach me to be content in all things, to embrace what you offer everyday in childlike wonder and to continue to pursue you in the journey.

Songwriters' Group Gathering

Last night we had the first of what I hope will be many Faith-Arts Songwriters' Gatherings. I really didn't know what to expect out of the night but hoped that we'd be able to break the ice, hear a few songs and get to know each other just a little bit. We had a decent sized group (with room for more) at our house where we had a little food and conversation before gathering in the piano room to play songs for each other.

Amy, Aubrey, Caleb, Hal, Micah and myself were on hand and shared songs. I shared "Wake Me Up" which we've been using in worship at Mercy Church for almost six months, so I don't know that I can really classify it as a new song, but seeing as how I don't have anything else that is more than a melodic or thematic idea, it would have to do. Each songwriter took their turn sharing and receiving feedback and I was blessed to watch what I've been dreaming about starting to happen as community began to help shape some of the songs that were shared.

It was a good start and I'm excited to see where it goes from here. I'm also excited to see who else might come along on the journey.

Tour deKota 2009-Thursday

If Monday's ride held all of the things that you really don't want to experience out of a bike tour (headwind, cold, lonely miles with nobody in sight), then Thursday's ride was the perfect bike tour day. We drove to Chamberlain on Wednesday night (Maia's birthday), checked into the AmericInn and settled in. I was very focused on making sure that I had everything ready for the next morning, but did relax a bit as we hit the pool before bed.

I had been checking the weather forecasts for a few days prior and it looked like it would be good riding weather, though it was still going to start fairly cool at around 50 degrees. In my meticulous Wednesday night prep, I realized that I had forgotten my arm warmers at home where they occupied a drying rack in the laundry room where they had hung since Monday night. I did have a vest to layer with, but worried a bit about being too cold first thing in the morning.

I woke up at about 6:00, headed down to breakfast and loaded up on rolls, cereal and fruit. I really wanted a waffle (they smelled fantastic), but knew that the syrup that I would have applied would have become a coating in my gut that would have had me loathing my existence after an hour or so. I headed back to the room, got suited up and headed out.

The route for the day was from Chamberlain to Pierre (an advertised 83 miles) with an optional century loop north of town to Oahe Dam which was to bring the total ride to 104 miles (again, advertised). I had decided to ride from the hotel so that the fam could sleep in a bit which would tag on a little more than three miles to my total ride for the day, but it would also give me a chance to warm up a bit before the first big climb of the day. As I arrived at the campground which was the official start point for the day, I saw Matt (one of the guys I met on Monday) unloading his bike from his dad's van. Our timing couldn't have been better and I knew that I'd have a riding companion for at least the first part of the day.

Chamberlain is a community located in the Missouri River Valley which means that in order to leave Chamberlain, you must climb out of the valley. The first climb starts within a half mile of the campground and I remembered from the 2005 ride that it was a fairly long hill with a decent grade and that it makes for a rude wake up call. The extra miles that I had put in actually did serve as a good warm up and Matt and I were able to chat a bit over the first hills as we got to know each other a bit.

Matt is originally from Sioux Falls, spent some time in the military and has been in Arizona for the better part of seven years where he drives a trailer at night and goes to school during the day for English/Spanish translation. He was riding a Pinarello frame that he built up with an assortment of Campy parts and rides a good deal. He definitely had the advantage over me as he's already got over 3000 miles in his legs since December where I've had to scratch and claw to get over 1000. He is a very strong rider and I could tell fairly early that I was not quite in his class.

We rode along and talked a bit as we hit some pretty horrible roads by Fort Thompson and continued to find rolling hills with the occasional big dig to contend with. The weather had warmed slightly, the sun had come out for the first time all week and the winds had shifted from north/northeast to straight out of the east. As our course took us straight north and then almost straight west, this meant that for the majority of the day we would benefit from a slight tailwind. We couldn't have asked for better conditions to ride a century.

I knew I was digging fairly deep to keep a pace that wouldn't hold Matt back and finally at about 35 miles I was starting to bonk. Matt encouraged me along and did the bulk of the pacemaking at that point, but we finally got passed by a couple of riders and I waved Matt on to let him know it was okay if he wanted to take off. He said, "Let's go" and accelerated. I tried to go with, but just didn't have any power left at that point. I started to settle into a pace a little more to my liking and actually caught up to a guy named Kevin who I had done a bike fitting with the week before. Having a chance to talk to someone else who was riding a little more manageable pace was just what I needed. I rode with Kevin and a friend of his for a few miles before seeing that the two guys who had passed earlier were doubling back and Matt was holding up waiting for me to catch back on.

Once I rejoined Matt, I had recovered enough to go with him on the next hill where we lost Kevin and settled back into our earlier pace. Matt was letting me sit in his slipstream for long pulls and then letting me dictate the pace up the hills. By the time we made the turn to head west, I had recovered enough to do my part of the work and we kept a tempo of about 22 mph pretty steadily.

We hit the "Pit Stop" official rest area about 60 miles into the day. It was here that I was supposed to meet Amy, but because we'd been keeping a good tempo, she was still about 40 minutes away. We decided to get some water and push on. We also had caught up with Gayle who Matt had told to get an early start so that we could ride with him for a bit later on. We rode with Gayle for the better part of five miles and had a bit more conversation before Gayle told us to not wait for him.

Matt and I resettled into our previous tempo and I was pretty sure there were few, if any, riders in front of us. I was to the point where I shut my brain off and just rode. I didn't feel like I had any energy left, but was still taking pulls at 22 mph. I wouldn't let myself think about how tired I was, how much I hurt or how far we'd already come. I just wanted to keep the tempo up. Matt was a great encouragement telling me, "Good pull" whenever he could sense I had given about as much as I had. We were only a few miles from Pierre when Amy and the kids finally caught up with us. I told her to just head into Pierre and we'd meet up there.

We topped off the bottles, grabbed a little food and headed out for the century loop north of Pierre where we would earn the rest of our miles. Neither of us felt all that good about climbing back out of town and the first five or six miles out of town were rolling hills. I was at my limit and just polishing off an energy bar when two other riders caught up to us. I again waived Matt ahead and did what I could to maintain a tempo. They were going about four miles an hour faster than what I could conceivably hold at that point, so I just rode my own tempo and tried to keep my morale up.

By the time I was across the dam, I could see that Matt and one of the riders had shed the other rider and that I was maintaining the same tempo as the dropped man. I gauged my efforts off of him and just kept pushing. I actually made up a bit of ground on him by the time I rolled into town, but Matt and the other rider were completely out of sight. They probably finished a good three minutes ahead of me (about one mile), but I had still managed to ride a strong day and was the fourth guy in off of the century loop.

I grabbed a few pictures and exchanged information with Matt before seeking out the showers. The shower guy was farther along in his prep than he had been on Monday, but he informed me that the city had the wrong hardware for him to be able to hook up, so he was waiting for them to deliver a part to him before showers could commence. I opted to head over to the city pool to use their showers so that the fam didn't have to wait around another hour or two like they had on Monday.

The pool was an interesting set up. Built over 70 years ago, the shower area was built into the hallway that leads from the locker room to the pool area. I was informed that if I didn't have a suit, I could just shut the door and shower. Once I inspected the set up, I decided to shower in my bike shorts because had anyone opened the door with me showering, I would have given them a show that no amount of therapy would ever be able to undo. At least the water was warm.

By this point my appetite had come around and we decided to find somewhere in town to grab a steak. We were planning on hitting a place that was on a flyer we had received at the campground, but when we arrived, it was obviously going to have nothing heartier than a wrap, so we went next door to the Longbranch Lounge instead. It was a dive bar, but was lacking in clientele due to the early afternoon time and the menu fit. They actually did have a kids menu and our waitress was one of the best that I have ever had anytime, anywhere. I ordered the only steak on the menu, an eight ounce sirloin with fried potatoes and texas toast. I savored each bite, wishing it was 16 ounces, but enjoying it while it lasted.

With that finished, we were back on the road. We had decided to try to get in touch with Casey and Dave (Amy's dad) to see about getting together on our way back through Mitchell since Maia's birthday plans were too early in the day for either to be able to come over to hang out. We arrived at the Pizza Ranch in Mitchell about three hours after leaving Pierre and I was already hungry again, so I attacked the buffet. We hung out at the Pizza Ranch for a couple of hours and got caught up on some conversation and had more gift time for Maia. By 7:30 I was barely hanging on, but by the time we hit the road, I was feeling up to driving to give Amy a break. She'd been behind the wheel off and on since about 10:00 that morning trying to keep the kids entertained and me supported on a long ride. I never need an excuse to love her, but she really goes above and beyond for me when she helps me out on a bike tour.

I was so thankful to have my first good day on the Tour deKota in two years. I got to work on Friday morning and was able to actually gloat a bit about what a great day I'd had. I also stopped in at the store to pick something up on Saturday and found out that Gayle had been in looking for me. With any luck, I'll get to see a few more of the folks that I connected with this year through other rides and by being "the bike guy" at Scheels.

Tour deKota 2009- Monday

I've been fortunate to get to take part in the Tour deKota (a bike tour put on by the Argus Leader newspaper in Sioux Falls, SD) every year since the ride began in 2005. That year I did the entire event as we were in the process of moving back to the area from Indiana and we were able to treat it like a vacation even though it was merely the beginning of three months of self inflicted unemployment. Every year since then, I've chosen two days to ride based on proximity, available vacation time and personal challenge.

Last year, I chose to ride the Sunday ride even though it meant not leaving town until 1:30 in the afternoon, well after all support and riders had already called it a day. I decided I would not do the Sunday ride again because of church duties, so I decided on Monday and Thursday for this year's edition of the TdK. Of course, the wind on Sunday was in the perfect direction and the ride left from just south of town and arrived in Yankton where Jim and Marilyn's home and hot tub would have awaited my arrival. Instead, I had a full morning at church (running sound and video for first service and leading worship for second) followed by an afternoon of work at the store. Amy and the kids picked me up at about 6:30 which meant we would arrive at J&M's at about 8pm. Ramona Bloodgood (Amy's brother's mother-in-law) was going to stay at the house as well and arrived shortly before we did.

We hung out, had good conversation, watched the Lakers escape the Magic in OT in the NBA Finals and were watching the news when the power went out. It had rained most of the day and a storm had been building with thunder and lightning as the night had progressed. J&M live on the Missouri River (Lewis and Clark Lake to be more specific) looking from the South Dakota side to the Nebraska side. The house is nuzzled up against the hill side and surrounded by trees. When the power fails at their house, it is quite a bit darker than what we are used to. The kids immediately came upstairs and we spent a bit of time digging around for a flashlight or a means to light a candle. Amy finally discovered a flashlight and we told the kids we'd light a candle for their room for the rest of the night just in case the power went out again. Of course, by the time the power came back on, we'd missed the weather on the news (sort of important for the next day's ride) and decided to just hit the hot tub for awhile before settling in.

By Monday morning, things had dried off (which was good) and the wind had shifted to the NW (which was not). The ride was going to be fairly short by bike tour standards at an advertised 59 miles from the campsite. We were starting a few miles into it, so I estimated that we'd wind up riding somewhere between 50-55 miles from Yankton to Wagner. The general direction all day was to be north and west which meant that we would have a headwind for the duration of the day, so we left at about 7:00 to slug it out with the wind for a few hours.

This bike tour was a bit atypical from what I've experienced in the past. I'm used to riders getting up at first light and hitting the roads before temps and winds have a chance to pick up. As temps have been low, the urgency to get out of camp and on the road seems to have been lacking. I honestly expected at least 100 riders up the road when I started, but had probably only passed 20 by the time I reached Tabor (about 8 miles into the ride). From that point, I didn't see another rider until about mile 42 when I encountered Gayle, a tour veteran, stopped by the roadside in order to remove his jacket. I stopped and we talked for a few minutes comparing equipment and discussing the contrast from the previous day's tailwind to the ever present headwind we were currently experiencing.

We got started again and Gayle told me not to wait for him as we made the final turn before the final 9 miles to Wagner. I rolled into town and looked intently for signs to point me to the camping area where I would meet Amy when she and the kids got to town. A few years ago, I wasted about a half hour in Madison because signs had not yet been posted and I wandered around trying to figure out where I was supposed to be. Thankfully, Wagner's signs directed me to the high school. The only issue was that it didn't look like I was supposed to be there. There was no indication that this was the arrival point, so I called Amy to consult with the official guidebook. She confirmed that, yes, that was where we were headed and I decided to hunker down and wait for the parade of vehicles and riders to begin to arrive.

About the time I called Amy, the Shuttleguy arrived. Shuttleguy is like a personal valet for bike tourists who hauls your gear and sets up your tent for you. It was a sign of tour civilization, but he seemed just as confused as to where to set up shop as I was. A few minutes later, the shower truck arrived, parked on a side street and waited for word as to where he was to set up. Gayle arrived about 15 minutes after I did at the same time as the first wave of official tour vehicles and the sag wagon with its first three abandons of the day and official tour staff.

Finally, the baggage truck arrived and things started to take shape. The Shuttleguy set up shop, the shower truck finally hooked up and rows of riders' bags were unloaded on the sidewalk outside the school. Amy and the kids had arrived about this time as well and they patiently waited in the car for me to hit the showers so that we could get back on the road. Almost an hour later, I was still standing outside the truck waiting for a shower when a reporter from the local paper stopped by for a chat and a few pics. She was wanting to get info for her story and I was one of the few people around for her to talk to, so we talked for a few minutes while the shower guy started to set up ladders on some of the shower stalls.

All I really wanted to do was grab a shower and hit the road, so when the reporter had extracted what information she could from me, I asked the shower guy how long it would be before he was open for business. He told me it would be about a half hour before the water was warm so I asked him if I could bother him for a cold shower. "It'll be really cold," he told me. I told him I really didn't mind and just needed to get on the road. He grabbed a token for me and told me again about the frigid conditions I'd experience. I told him I'd hit him up for a warm shower after Thursday's ride and proceeded into my metal encased, shower stall.

Each stall has a small shelf, two pronged hook and shower curtain and very little opportunity for anything that is left on the floor to stay dry. The stall also has a coin slot where the token is inserted to set the timer for your water allotment. You are given five minutes per token, so a certain amount of efficiency is required. Knowing that the water would be really cold, I was all about efficiency. I started the shower, lathered up, rinsed, shut the water off and still had three and a half minutes left on the shower timer. Yeah, it was cold, but I was clean and ready for the trip home.

We hit a local restaurant for lunch and had a quick conversation with Gayle and another rider named Matt who were just a few tables away. I'm hoping I can hook up with them on tomorrow's ride and make it a bit more of a social event as we'll be covering 100 miles of river valley with a fair amount of climbing. Companionship will definitely make the miles go a bit quicker and will hopefully make for a more memorable day on the bike than Monday.

Where I am

I've been absent from this blog for awhile. It's amazing how many things fight for our time, energy and creativity. I've been pouring a bit of energy into other projects that are long overdue and I'm hoping that the summer will be a time of fruitful first steps as I start to dig in a little deeper into some of the things that I felt a pull toward when we first moved to Sioux Falls nearly four years ago. The last four years has mostly been a study in faithful following and day to day living where the prayers and dreams of a satellite soul have been kept mostly orbiting and observing instead of pursuing passions.

I'm hoping to accomplish a few things this summer. I'm starting a songwriters' network where writers are connected with one another for encouragement, challenge and resourcing in the hope that the quality of the art that is created will be of more artistic value and more accessible to those we try to communicate with. I'm still not sure what form this kind of group will take, but we're starting very small and hope that we can hit a stride before opening it up on a larger scale.

I am also working to finish another step in my licensing process with the Christian and Missionary Alliance denomination. I'm seeking licensing in music as well as possibly pastoring and church planting. Where this will lead is still very open, but I'm hoping that beginning the discussion will begin to help us discern where we should be in ministry. We love Mercy Church and what it stands for, but we also know that one of the passions of Mercy is to plant more churches and are using this as an opportunity to explore whether that might be a part of the vision that we can help carry forward.

In the meantime, there's still full time work managing the bike department at Scheels and the task of trying to balance all of this with family life and spiritual growth. Hoping for a fruitful season ahead.

Gratitude and Rest

I'm being jolted back into the reality of a hyper-scheduled life after a week where I was fairly unhitched from time. Amy and I just got back from an all expense paid trip to Jamaica last week that I had earned through the store. It was the first vacation that just the two of us had taken (other than worship conferences and an overnight trip or two) since 1998 and we'd been looking forward to it for months. We left two weeks ago and returned one week ago. The week in between was amazing.

Two things stick out to me by way of spiritual application. The first is an issue of gratitude. We ran into some travel issues along with two other couples from the store meaning we arrived a day later than we were supposed to and our luggage arrived a day after we did. Amy and I took things pretty well in stride, thankful to be going anywhere and enjoying each other's company. Our companions... not so much. Every time a new challenge would present itself, their response was immediately angry. Once anger and intimidation failed to produce the desired result they would swing to bitter resignation. A week later, on the return flight home (after the last layover nonetheless) they were still regaling fellow travelers with the tale of how they had been screwed over, how angry they were and how they were going to get restitution from those responsible.

Amy and I felt very little of that at any point in the journey. The difference was that they felt robbed of something that was rightly theirs and we felt that the trip was a blessing to be thankful for even if things didn't go exactly as we would have hoped. Needless to say, we arrived already in vacation mode; relaxed and at peace. They made it to the resort more stressed than when they had left Sioux Falls and had, in effect, wasted a day of their vacation by choice.

The other thing that I'm still chewing on by means of application goes back to issues of time and how I spend it. I never thought I would allow myself to become as hyper-scheduled as I have become. If you look at my weekly schedule, you will see very little downtime. Anybody that really knew me prior to arriving in Sioux Falls knows that I am very protective of my personal time. I am, at heart, an introvert who needs time and space for contemplation in order to feel truly centered. Working in full-time retail and part-time ministry means I have to function as an extrovert most of the time and leaves very little by way of free time to recharge. Thankfully, the jobs that I have are things that I am passionate about and I truly do believe the Lord has blessed me in this way so that I can still provide for my family, engage in ministry and not completely burn out.

With that in mind, I find myself dwelling on how time passed in Jamaica for me. I had a loose sense of comprehending what time it was. We really didn't schedule that much to do in terms of excursions or meals which meant we were free to meander through most of our days there doing what we wanted to do when we felt like doing it. I knew it was roughly 10 a.m. when the bar at the water park opened. I knew it was around noon when people started sitting down for meals. I knew it was sometime around 8 p.m. when the sun went down. Time just passed and I didn't really concern myself with it.

On arriving home, I found myself trying to hold onto that relaxed sense of time for the first few days until I began to realize that the demands of the schedule wouldn't allow it. Today is my first "day off" since getting back and I had a 7:30 coffee appointment, had to be at the house at 9:30 to let the piano tuner in (who is currently doing a fine job bringing consonance back into our home), will be at a worship planning meeting at 11:45, pick Xander up from school at 1:05, teach at USF from 3:30-4:30 and will be co-leading a small group at church tonight. Today will not permit the type of relaxation that I found lounging by poolside or reading at the beach.

The bigger thing that I'm contemplating this morning is the meaning of sabbath. When I refer to sabbath, I'm not referring to "The Sabbath" as it is presented in the Old Testament. I refer to the practice of resting and meditating on God as an act of worship and discipleship. There are times that I do this well and times that I fail miserably because I allow my schedule to dictate when I can experience sabbath rest instead of conforming my schedule to allow it to happen.

I'm hoping I can begin to address that in ways that allow me to unhitch from time-induced daily pressures and experience the presence of God in ways I've forgotten and ways I have yet to discover.

Wake Me Up

Once upon a time ago, I started a blog on the relationship between faith and art. I have posted a long overdue post that I hope will be the first of many as I begin to press on this passion that God has given me. Check it out, let me know what you think and look for more both here and on the faith-art blog in the months to come.

Playing again

Business has again settled over our home as our level of activity kicks into overdrive. Amy and I started teaching again at USF and I have four trumpet students, two who I met for the first time yesterday. I enjoy teaching trumpet and hope that my students enjoy the instrument more because of our time together. I am beginning to form the early plans for a possible recital (sometime in the next 18 months) of baroque/classic trumpet works for piccolo trumpet. I'm aiming for a long term goal partly to give me time to find resources that I really enjoy so that I can put together a program that provides some sense of flow and variety and partly to give myself plenty of time to get back into shape.

This style of playing is probably my strongest as a player. I've always considered myself a jack of all trades, master of none when it comes to the trumpet. I was always a good player, but rarely the best in any given area. There were always better players in any particular arena of playing, always better improvisors, better technicians, better soloists... But my strength as a player was my ability to adapt and play capably in any style of music.

It really wasn't until I started digging into baroque trumpet playing that I started feeling like I was a fully competent soloist. It's a style of playing that I feel very much at home in and feel I can hold myself to a standard of excellence that I simply don't expect of myself in other areas.

We'll see what develops out of this, but at least I've gone on the record saying that I want to do it, so I now have less excuse to dismiss it altogether.

A bit more perspective

Last week's doom and gloom mood has given way to mostly sunny skies. Thursday's rehearsal last week was tough. I was really struggling to begin with, but then to have to talk to the team about it and keep on track to prepare for Sunday's service was hard. When I got home I told Amy that the church was either going to get a pretty raw, emotional worship leader on Sunday or one that was just going through the motions. Thankfully, it was the emotional leader that emerged and we had connected worship for the first time in a few months.

By the time I left for work on Friday, I was a pretty depressed, unsocial mess and had a really hard time being around people. Thankfully, late in the day, the job demanded that I interact with some people and as I began to talk with customers, I started to come out of my funk. We're still processing through a lot of changes with things at Mercy as Amy steps out of 2nd service, but our outlook is definitely more positive than it was a week ago.

One of the discussions that I had with someone this week brought out the idea that maybe we're trying to do too many things in worship in its current format and are not leaving enough space for more charismatic worship and moves of the Holy Spirit to happen. Ironically enough, the basic elements are the same as they were when we started at the church and we've only adjusted the order of the service a bit. We'll probably try playing with things some while Shel is on sabbatical and see if we hit a different stride that might help carry things forward.

One element that I think needs to change is the ability for us to "team lead" worship. My approach to leading a worship team has long been one of encouraging and empowering other team members to grow in and contribute their gifts in order for the team to be more effective. Sounds kind of like what Paul is talking about he talks about the church being the Body of Christ doesn't it?

One of the things that has been expressed to me is that I need to increase and other team members need to decrease in order for me to effectively carry out the role that I play as worship leader. I will readily admit that this is an idea that I have yet to fully embrace. In talking with Bobbi the other night at rehearsal, I told her that I trust and value her sensitivity and leadership and have given her permission to lead in areas where she has more experience than I do, especially in areas of charismatic expression. I'm hoping that if we start to work together in these areas, we'll begin to function in ways that allow for more dynamic worship.

Amy and I are continuing to process through things and we're looking at this season as a time to wait on the Lord and see what He desires to do, teach and birth in us that will help us grow for what's ahead. Pruning/refining is not a fun process, but I'm far more hopeful for continued ministry at Mercy than I was a week ago.