Last week's doom and gloom mood has given way to mostly sunny skies. Thursday's rehearsal last week was tough. I was really struggling to begin with, but then to have to talk to the team about it and keep on track to prepare for Sunday's service was hard. When I got home I told Amy that the church was either going to get a pretty raw, emotional worship leader on Sunday or one that was just going through the motions. Thankfully, it was the emotional leader that emerged and we had connected worship for the first time in a few months.
By the time I left for work on Friday, I was a pretty depressed, unsocial mess and had a really hard time being around people. Thankfully, late in the day, the job demanded that I interact with some people and as I began to talk with customers, I started to come out of my funk. We're still processing through a lot of changes with things at Mercy as Amy steps out of 2nd service, but our outlook is definitely more positive than it was a week ago.
One of the discussions that I had with someone this week brought out the idea that maybe we're trying to do too many things in worship in its current format and are not leaving enough space for more charismatic worship and moves of the Holy Spirit to happen. Ironically enough, the basic elements are the same as they were when we started at the church and we've only adjusted the order of the service a bit. We'll probably try playing with things some while Shel is on sabbatical and see if we hit a different stride that might help carry things forward.
One element that I think needs to change is the ability for us to "team lead" worship. My approach to leading a worship team has long been one of encouraging and empowering other team members to grow in and contribute their gifts in order for the team to be more effective. Sounds kind of like what Paul is talking about he talks about the church being the Body of Christ doesn't it?
One of the things that has been expressed to me is that I need to increase and other team members need to decrease in order for me to effectively carry out the role that I play as worship leader. I will readily admit that this is an idea that I have yet to fully embrace. In talking with Bobbi the other night at rehearsal, I told her that I trust and value her sensitivity and leadership and have given her permission to lead in areas where she has more experience than I do, especially in areas of charismatic expression. I'm hoping that if we start to work together in these areas, we'll begin to function in ways that allow for more dynamic worship.
Amy and I are continuing to process through things and we're looking at this season as a time to wait on the Lord and see what He desires to do, teach and birth in us that will help us grow for what's ahead. Pruning/refining is not a fun process, but I'm far more hopeful for continued ministry at Mercy than I was a week ago.
