Friday, January 21, 2011

1 on 1 accountability and sin

We're getting ready over the next few weeks to make a push at Embrace to give people a chance to engage in 1 on 1 accountability as a way of going deeper in their relationship with God. I've been involved in accountability for about ten years now and have found it to be one of the most important components of my walk.

The reason I believe this to be true is that I am an expert in performing and hiding where sin is concerned. I am quite good at performing one way when in the spotlight of life's stage, but am quite capable of sinful behavior when the curtain is drawn (not to mention what lies hidden in the dark corners of my mind). I suspect that most people, if they are being honest with themselves, know exactly what I'm talking about. The Apostle Paul certainly did as evidenced in the struggle he speaks of in Romans 7. The person I am in public is usually the person that I desire to be, but the sinful nature working within me keeps me from always being that person.

The hiding happens when I try to deny to the world around me that I am struggling and I conceal the carnage that sin unleashes in my spirit. And the problem is, when I get too good at hiding my sin from the world around me, it begins to be hidden from me as well. When that happens, I can no longer continue to keep up the outward performance effectively. Either that or I have to become two people, one public and one private, who become more and more distanced from each other.

Every once in awhile, the kids will play hide and seek. I'm a really good hider and I'm patient enough to outlast the most determined seeker if my hiding place is good enough. When the kids were younger, it was my goal to hide somewhere that made it easier to find me. I knew that hiding too well would frustrate them and make them not enjoy playing with dad. Like most people, I am an expert on hiding the things that I am ashamed of in my life. In a sense, accountability is my attempt at making myself easier to find.

I know that, for many, the biggest reason not to seek out accountability is the fear that, once they are found, they will be rejected. That is always the risk that we run when we enter into deeper relationship. The thing that surprised me the first time I entered into an accountability relationship was that instead of being rejected for my struggles, I learned that my struggles were not unique to me. Sure my sin may manifest itself in a different way than the other guy, but my stuff resembles his stuff and vice versa. 1 Corinthians 10:13 came alive to me in a way it hadn't before:

The temptations in your life are no different from what others experience. And God is faithful. He will not allow the temptation to be more than you can stand. When you are tempted, he will show you a way out so that you can endure.


Being freed from the lie that I was in this alone gave me a new courage to be honest about my struggles and I finally began to find freedom from habitual sin that I had struggled with for years. My hope for these next few weeks is that we will have a great response and that the Lord will lead us through the process of helping people experience freedom and a newfound strength to face their struggles knowing they no longer have to carry the burden alone.