Many of us are probably familiar with the phrase "It is better to give than to receive." It's found in the book of Acts (Acts 20:35 to be exact) and I've heard it often regarding giving at churches throughout my life. While I've usually heard it as "It is better..." the verse is actually more accurately translated "It is more blessed to give than to receive."
Regardless of how it is stated, it seems like when a need is present, most of us would rather be on the giving end than the receiving end. Over the years, we've experienced the blessing of giving as we've supported friends in different ministry endeavors, sold a college student a car for $1, and helped send a friend to India for several months as a missionary. Giving costs us something, to be sure, but being on the receiving end of someone else's generosity costs us as well in ways that are often more uncomfortable.
Over the course of the summer we received gifts both in person and anonymously, sometimes in the form of cash or check, sometimes in the form of meals delivered to the house, sometimes in the form of gift cards for groceries, restaurants or other necessities. It seemed any time things grew lean, we would pray, and people would respond as God put us on their hearts.
Once the summer was over and the bulk of Amy's treatment was in the rearview mirror, things began to return to something resembling normalcy. She went back to teaching both at home and at USF, the kids were back in school and I finally spent more time thinking, dreaming and praying about ministry at Embrace than on Amy's cancer.
Things were sailing along pretty well when my beloved Pontiac Aztek (the car so ugly that it's cool) starting having issues. After taking it to a shop, we were faced with $500 bill and another estimated $700 part that was needed to finish the job. I picked up the car while we tried to determine our next step. At nearly 161,000 miles we were going to have to determine whether continuing to throw money at the Aztek was a good move or if we needed to consider replacing it.
Amy and I have run a very lean budget for the last several years and we hadn't made a car payment in awhile, instead choosing to drive cars until they fall apart and taking what would be used for a car payment and paying down other debts. We really didn't see where we could squeeze another car payment into the budget, let alone have anything to put down as a downpayment. Again, when we prayed, we had little choice but to pray for God to provide since we didn't know where we were going to come up with the money.
As we prayed, the Aztek went from bad to worse. Our friend Paul offered to take a look at things and was able to address the cylinder misfires by replacing a different part than the shop had recommended (for significantly less than the $700 estimate), but after fixing a hole in a radiator hose and replacing the thermostat, the engine was still gushing coolant. All of this led us to believe that we were dealing either with a head gasket or cracked head. Essentially, this spelled the end for us with the Aztek.
I opted to commute by bike more and friends offered to loan us vehicles. We drove Jason's Ford Fusion for a couple of weeks (easily the nicest loaner car I will ever drive) and we asked Amy's folks about borrowing one of their cars while they winter in Arizona. We took a little road trip to borrow their pick up and were able to give Jason his car back, but were no nearer a long term solution. With Jim's pick up, we knew we could stall until March or April if we needed to, so we headed into Christmas simply hoping we could tread water while we figured out our options.
Christmas Eve rolled around and we were ready for a great day at Embrace with both Amy and myself set to play for all four of our services before loading up the truck and heading to the farm to spend a few days with my family. Before the last service, our friend & worship leader Aubrey said that she wanted to see us in her office before we left. We really had no idea what it was she wanted to talk about, but as we went to her office, Jason slipped in right behind us and said that he was invited to be a part of the meeting too.
Aubrey sat down and said, "Matt, I'm tired of you making my Crossfit look bad by riding your bike when it's freezing out and Jason really wanted his car back, so we put out the word that the Morrisons were in need of a car..." It turns out what started as a conversation with a small number of people wound up involving a much larger group of people and Jason and Aubrey were able to give us an envelope full of money that they had collected from friends and our Embrace family totaling around $5,000. I was simply dumbstruck (I frankly still have a hard time believing that this really happened) and Amy teared up as we said our thanks, gave hugs and prepared to leave for Christmas overwhelmed at God's goodness and the love of our friends and church family.
As I've thought about the experiences of the past year, I find God still teaching me so much regarding giving and receiving. As I said before, we've often been on the giving end of the equation and even though we have received on many occasions, we have never seen a season where we were so obviously in need and so consistently provided for. It's been an incredibly humbling experience as well as being one that has demonstrated the power of community as friends and family have surrounded us, encouraged us, and provided for us so beautifully.
I have long understood the benefits of giving as God blesses us by cultivating obedience through sacrifice and showing us the freedom that is found by putting the needs of others before ourselves. But in order for us to have an opportunity to experience those blessings, somebody first has to be in need.
We associate so many negative things with being in need (including weakness, vulnerability, and shame at being perceived as being irresponsible or incapable) that when we find ourselves in need we often pretend that nothing is wrong. Instead, we try to convince others (and ourselves) that we can handle things on our own. By doing this though, we do a disservice to ourselves and to others who might be in a position to help. We hurt ourselves by not turning our backs on our pride and embracing a humility that God would use to shape us and grow us by strengthening our faith through His provision. We hurt others by denying them the opportunity to cultivate obedience and to receive the blessing that Jesus says is inherent in the act of giving. In other words, by not being a humble receiver, we rob others of their blessing.
There were so many times this year where I had to get over my own pride in the face of someone offering to give us something. Each and every time I had to remind myself that to deny their gift would be to deny them their blessing because it is more blessed to give than to receive.
Lord, help me to continue to learn the humility that is required in those seasons where I am called to be a gracious receiver. I also pray for opportunities to give in times of plenty and in times of need so that I can continue to learn obedience, put the needs of others before my own, and receive the blessing that you promise. Amen.
