Prayer and Burritos

I had an amazing time in prayer this morning, but this isn't about that. I also had a great time in prayer at the church tonight, but this isn't about that either. This is about what happened in between.

I found myself up early to pray for the church (the aforementioned "amazing time in prayer") and decided that I might fast today as we were praying as a church for this weekend's Kick-Off Event. I decided instead to meditate on God's provision by only eating food if it was offered to me throughout the day.

I headed to the shop (sans breakfast) and settled into work. About an hour later, Darwin showed up with a cappuccino and a Taco John's breakfast burrito for me. I thanked God through every fresh, Tex Mex bite. I didn't tell Darwin what I was doing, but several hours later, when he went to lunch, he came back with two cheese and bean burritos from Taco Bell for me. While Taco Bell is clearly the inferior Mexican fast food choice, I was thankful nonetheless as God had provided yet again.

I shared the story with Amy after praying at the church tonight (the aforementioned "great time in prayer") and she seemed a little less than impressed. She said, "It's not exactly manna from heaven. So, you just ate burritos today?" To which I replied, "Burritos from heaven."

Living by Faith

There are days when I wonder if I've lost my mind. Thankfully, those days are coming with increasing frequency.

This year I have been called to step out of a part time ministry position that I began to see as an ill fit for my personality, gifting and leadership style. I've also gone from a sales position that had greater income potential for a position in the bike shop that freed my schedule up quite a bit. In the process, I was beginning to get a little comfortable. Life was becoming a little more predictable and manageable.

Then God moved.

I wasn't really looking for it, but God was presenting an opportunity to risk again and I feel alive like I haven't in a long, long time.

I was hanging out at home one night and decided to kill some time by looking at online ministry job resources. After checking a few sites I found a listing for a position that really caught my attention. The listing was for a part-time Small Group and Teams Coordinator position at Embrace, a fairly recent church plant in Sioux Falls.

I have been a worship leader since the day I started in ministry. I may have had other responsibilities, but they always revolved around worship arts. As I read the job description though, I sensed an awakening in my spirit. The burden that I have felt for years to help people engage in close, deep relationship with one another quickly rose to the surface and I recognized in this position, an opportunity to invest in helping that happen. I reached a point where I couldn't see not pursuing it.

As we began the conversation, I was really thinking that I would stay full time in the bike shop and the ministry job would be part time. My desire for security and my conventional wisdom was really working overtime. I mean, who leaves a good, stable, full time job with benefits in a depressed economy to pursue a part time ministry position? I worked and worked and worked it through how I could make it all work. Then the dam burst.

I was really wrestling through the options one night when I talked to my parents. I love and value the input of my Mom and Dad tremendously. Both have wisdom cultivated through years of experience and both are very careful to dispense advice (also a sign of wisdom). As I told them about some of the options that I was considering, my Mom said, "Maybe God is just helping you realize what's really important." I think that was the first salvo in what would eventually break apart my idol of security and free me to pursue living by faith again. I continued the conversation with Amy later that night. She pointed out some of the things that I probably would have to give up in trying to keep it all and I finally succumbed to the reality that I could not do it all. I had to decide what was really important.

I went into my final discussion with Adam, resolved that if the position was offered to me, I would take it and would go part time at the store knowing we would be taking a big pay cut and would have no benefits. I felt such a peace about the idea that I was almost more relieved than excited when Adam asked me to come on board. It felt like the culmination of a season of searching for where I belong.

So, much like when we left Indiana with no jobs and no housing with just a belief that this was the road we were to travel, we find ourselves trusting that God is leading and knowing that we want to follow.