We had a ton of people out again with VTO and other time off. Those that were here huddled together over in my neck of the woods since Sarah and I were both there. We even ordered Chinese food because Patricia wasn't around (she gets sick at the smell of Chinese).
There are four of us left to finish the night and I'm taking a late break before powering through the last 45 minutes of my shift.
I'm thinking more about something that I've thought of a lot this year, only with a little more definition. I'd been thinking about some kind of artist gathering where art and faith are discussed and artists are challenged and encouraged to create better art as a part of their expression of worship. A possible "creative collective" ministry may be in the works soon. I'll have to give it some more thought, bounce the idea off of some other people and see what develops.
Back to work...
Friday, January 27, 2006
Thursday, January 26, 2006
Conversation with Chip
Shortly after leaving Linwood where I talked to Bill, I left for Famous Dan's BB-Q joint where I had lunch with my Pastor, Chip. During the first conversation I had with Chip, last summer, he mentioned the desire of the Nazarene Church to plant more churches in the area. That part of the conversation has probably been revisited in my mind more than any other and today was a resumption of that thread of conversation.
Chip had a lot of great data and practical advice and asked a lot of questions that I need to sort through before contemplating being the lead pastor for a church plant. We talked about whether my heart for artists is better suited for a church plant, campus or extension of an existing church. That's the first thing that I feel like I have to deal with.
If I were to consider doing a church plant, I don't think it could be built with artists as the primary target group simply because that is too broad a brush to paint with. I think we would have to look at a different target with the realization that we would probably attract some artistic people. I am a strong believer that you attract what you are and since Amy and I both have that artistic bent, I have to believe that we would attract more artists.
I think my next step is to begin to put some things on paper and really begin to turn dream into picture in order to better understand whether what I'm thinking about is concrete enough to pursue. In the process, we might even find direction.
As an aside, I am absolutely lacking confidence in a decision on a church plant. I feel like Moses when I consider this stuff. I feel like God is saying "Go" and I'm pleading my case that I'm not eloquent enough or smart enough... or brave enough.
At the same time, I think about it constantly, dream about what it could be and consider a ministry that I'd gladly give my life for... in theory. If it becomes a pursued reality, it will take more courage than I currently possess.
I'm not saying I won't do it.
Chip had a lot of great data and practical advice and asked a lot of questions that I need to sort through before contemplating being the lead pastor for a church plant. We talked about whether my heart for artists is better suited for a church plant, campus or extension of an existing church. That's the first thing that I feel like I have to deal with.
If I were to consider doing a church plant, I don't think it could be built with artists as the primary target group simply because that is too broad a brush to paint with. I think we would have to look at a different target with the realization that we would probably attract some artistic people. I am a strong believer that you attract what you are and since Amy and I both have that artistic bent, I have to believe that we would attract more artists.
I think my next step is to begin to put some things on paper and really begin to turn dream into picture in order to better understand whether what I'm thinking about is concrete enough to pursue. In the process, we might even find direction.
As an aside, I am absolutely lacking confidence in a decision on a church plant. I feel like Moses when I consider this stuff. I feel like God is saying "Go" and I'm pleading my case that I'm not eloquent enough or smart enough... or brave enough.
At the same time, I think about it constantly, dream about what it could be and consider a ministry that I'd gladly give my life for... in theory. If it becomes a pursued reality, it will take more courage than I currently possess.
I'm not saying I won't do it.
Conversation with Bill
Well, I officially withdrew my name for the church job today. I went over to the church to talk to Pastor Bill this morning before lunch and had a good conversation with him for a half hour or so.
In talking to Amy about it yesterday I realized that even though I knew I wasn't going to take the job, I still hoped that today's conversation could add value to the church. I really don't want them to feel as though they wasted time in talking with us and hopefully they'll be able to continue their search with a little more information to help them find the right person.
Bill was very understanding, a little disappointed, but, above all, gracious. I really wanted to affirm him in what the church is doing and where they are headed. In hindsight, it might have been an "It's not you, it's me" kind of conversation, but that really is the case. I just didn't feel like I was the best fit for where they're headed.
Opens up some new lines of thinking for future ministry, but maybe I'll write about that on my late break.
In talking to Amy about it yesterday I realized that even though I knew I wasn't going to take the job, I still hoped that today's conversation could add value to the church. I really don't want them to feel as though they wasted time in talking with us and hopefully they'll be able to continue their search with a little more information to help them find the right person.
Bill was very understanding, a little disappointed, but, above all, gracious. I really wanted to affirm him in what the church is doing and where they are headed. In hindsight, it might have been an "It's not you, it's me" kind of conversation, but that really is the case. I just didn't feel like I was the best fit for where they're headed.
Opens up some new lines of thinking for future ministry, but maybe I'll write about that on my late break.
Wednesday, January 25, 2006
The Book of Daniel Cancelled
In the least surprising news story of the week, controversial NBC show, "The Book of Daniel" was cancelled after four airings. Conservative Christian groups are rushing to the hospital in droves after breaking their arms from patting themselves on the back. The American Family Association had the following statement on its web site: "This shows the average American that he doesn't have to simply sit back and take the trash being offered on TV, but he can get involved and fight back with his pocketbook."
While I think a case can be made for the efforts of activists in getting a show like this shut down, I have been wondering since this whole thing started if we'd just be better off to keep our mouths shut and let bad shows die a natural death. "The Book of Daniel" had 6.9 million viewers for its premier episode, probably fueled a lot by the fact it was getting so much press from the protests of conservative Christian groups. I wonder if it would have cracked 5 million viewers if groups would have ignored it.
I also have to wonder how the cause of Christ was helped or hindered by yet another occasion where the Christian community was spotlighted more for what they were against than what we are for. I'm not saying we shouldn't react when the person, character or legacy of Jesus is misrepresented, I just think we have a way of reacting that paints us as belligerent, unaccepting people who nobody really wants to talk to for fear of being judged and criticized.
Ultimately "The Book of Daniel" was bad art which was doomed to fall based on its own merits (or lack thereof). Because of our reaction as a Christian community, it is now experiencing a notoriety that would have eluded it had we let it die on its own.
A Definite Turn
"Stop acting like you don't know Me. Stop acting like you can't hear what I'm telling you to do. Stop running." -God (over the last 24 hours)
The light seems to be coming on and I feel a confidence I haven't had in awhile.
I haven't written much of late because we've been in the process of considering a church job with a local Wesleyan church and I didn't feel definite enough about anything to really document all of the twists and turns in our path. I started off somewhat optimistic that this might be my rescue from my current employer. I met with the Senior Pastor and really enjoyed meeting him and some of the other folks at the church over the next few weeks in what would more or less be preliminary interviews.
The church itself is in the midst of a building project and would like to expand their service styles from two blended services (which they currently have) to one traditional, one blended and one contemporary. Not an ideal fit for my more progressive tendencies, but all doable. I found myself wavering between wanting to want to do it and not wanting to do it at all. There never was a point where I really felt excited about the prospect (should have been a clue).
Amy threw out the possibility of maybe considering the job herself. I initially shot her down (my male ego made a pretty clumsy appearance) but eventually we started talking about it as a real possibility.
Things continued to progress and last weekend was sort of the next big test. We had been invited to attend a service and go out to eat with the Pastor afterward. We hoped the experience would give us some strong indicators of whether we were to pursue it or not. Amy returned from a trip to Des Moines over the weekend and took her hat out of the ring which made it a little easier to focus on considering the service in terms of my gifts and passions.
The service was good. Rough, but good. They've got quite a few musicians that just need some direction. It honestly was probably the first blended service that I've ever been in where it didn't feel like the contemporary and traditional elements were at war with each other. We met a lot more great people and even saw a guy from the day shift from my department at work that sits about 15 feet from me for the first few hours of my shift. Lunch was good, but we still left with some uncertainty.
I was on both sides of the fence on the issue for most of Sunday and all of Monday. I found myself stressed and irritable all day and did my best to keep from having it spill over at home and at work. I recognized it was something I was just going to have to work through.
On my way home from work that night, I was praying and the above statements sort of give the gist of what God was telling me. I've been walking around in a state of confusion because I really have been doubting how well I've been hearing God of late. What if He doesn't communicate in the same ways to me anymore? What do I do if God doesn't give me some clear direction? Do I take a ministry job with a church that I'm not sure I'm on board with or am I supposed to do something else.
When God began to speak, He impressed on me that I shouldn't doubt my communication with Him so much. He's been speaking, I just have been so uncertain as to whether it was Him or not that I haven't been responding to Him. He reminded me that He is constant and told me to trust my relationship and communication with Him.
I knew before I went to bed last night that I wouldn't take the job (not that it's actually been offered yet). My next step is to talk to the Pastor and let him know. They had been hoping to bring us in to lead worship sometime in February, but I really wanted to make a decision before then if at all possible. It should be easier for them to commence their search if I step out earlier rather than later.
So, where does that leave us? For the moment, right where we are. Not the greatest place in the world. Money has been tight, we've been stressed and we've felt fairly listless in our inability to see any forward progress. But something is ahead. I know it.
The light seems to be coming on and I feel a confidence I haven't had in awhile.
I haven't written much of late because we've been in the process of considering a church job with a local Wesleyan church and I didn't feel definite enough about anything to really document all of the twists and turns in our path. I started off somewhat optimistic that this might be my rescue from my current employer. I met with the Senior Pastor and really enjoyed meeting him and some of the other folks at the church over the next few weeks in what would more or less be preliminary interviews.
The church itself is in the midst of a building project and would like to expand their service styles from two blended services (which they currently have) to one traditional, one blended and one contemporary. Not an ideal fit for my more progressive tendencies, but all doable. I found myself wavering between wanting to want to do it and not wanting to do it at all. There never was a point where I really felt excited about the prospect (should have been a clue).
Amy threw out the possibility of maybe considering the job herself. I initially shot her down (my male ego made a pretty clumsy appearance) but eventually we started talking about it as a real possibility.
Things continued to progress and last weekend was sort of the next big test. We had been invited to attend a service and go out to eat with the Pastor afterward. We hoped the experience would give us some strong indicators of whether we were to pursue it or not. Amy returned from a trip to Des Moines over the weekend and took her hat out of the ring which made it a little easier to focus on considering the service in terms of my gifts and passions.
The service was good. Rough, but good. They've got quite a few musicians that just need some direction. It honestly was probably the first blended service that I've ever been in where it didn't feel like the contemporary and traditional elements were at war with each other. We met a lot more great people and even saw a guy from the day shift from my department at work that sits about 15 feet from me for the first few hours of my shift. Lunch was good, but we still left with some uncertainty.
I was on both sides of the fence on the issue for most of Sunday and all of Monday. I found myself stressed and irritable all day and did my best to keep from having it spill over at home and at work. I recognized it was something I was just going to have to work through.
On my way home from work that night, I was praying and the above statements sort of give the gist of what God was telling me. I've been walking around in a state of confusion because I really have been doubting how well I've been hearing God of late. What if He doesn't communicate in the same ways to me anymore? What do I do if God doesn't give me some clear direction? Do I take a ministry job with a church that I'm not sure I'm on board with or am I supposed to do something else.
When God began to speak, He impressed on me that I shouldn't doubt my communication with Him so much. He's been speaking, I just have been so uncertain as to whether it was Him or not that I haven't been responding to Him. He reminded me that He is constant and told me to trust my relationship and communication with Him.
I knew before I went to bed last night that I wouldn't take the job (not that it's actually been offered yet). My next step is to talk to the Pastor and let him know. They had been hoping to bring us in to lead worship sometime in February, but I really wanted to make a decision before then if at all possible. It should be easier for them to commence their search if I step out earlier rather than later.
So, where does that leave us? For the moment, right where we are. Not the greatest place in the world. Money has been tight, we've been stressed and we've felt fairly listless in our inability to see any forward progress. But something is ahead. I know it.
Friday, January 20, 2006
Potpourri
Sad to think that I've not had a chance, or the inspiration, to write for a week. I wouldn't say that inspiration has been lacking, but it hasn't coincided with opportunity the way I would like. I've been reading, conversing and wresting around a lot of ideas this week which have given me a lot to think about, but I think most of those ideas have failed to shape into cohesive understanding yet in any way that would allow me to write intelligently on them. So, instead, here's what I've been up to:
On the deep thinking end of the pool, I just finished Brian McLaren's "A New Kind of Christian" which I've been wanting to read for awhile. It is filled with thoughts to ponder for the Christian as we find ourselves being surrounded by a more postmodern culture than our modern church upbringings know how to deal with. These are thoughts I've been wrestling with for the better part of two years and probably have been working at a subconscious level in me for the better part of five. There is a lot of challenging thought in the book that will be dismissed by a lot of people in the church for a variety of reasons, but I think it is well worth really working through these issues if we desire to see something other than the generic, subcultural, modern way of doing church as that which we will stake all of our future ministry endeavors on.
That's not to say that the modern church will cease to exist. I still believe it will serve a vital part of the Great Commission for generations to come. But to pretend that it has the potential to reach a postmodern culture on the other side of a cultural shift that is taking place is a mistake. It is much the same as the missionary efforts to native groups where they were asked to abandon all that they were and to adopt the western European form of Christianity instead of recognizing that Christ came to redeem things as much as to replace them. Again, this is a thought that I'm still in the early stages of putting into cohesive thought, so forgive me if it's a bit rough yet.
Anyway, that's a bit of where my thinking has been of late.
I also finally broke down and set up my bike in our basement on my trainer so that I can begin to get the blood pumping and get ready to hit the road once the weather allows. We've had a few nice days here and there, but I've not been able to take advantage. I'm planning on doing the Tour de Kota in June again and worry that my early season prep might not be as easy this year as last because of my new schedule and the fact that spring in South Dakota is colder and windier than spring in Indiana was. We are hoping to be able to travel to Indiana in May for a week to see our Hanfield family, but I'll have more details on that as the plans take shape. While we're there, I plan to hit a lot of my favorite ride routes and would like to get somewhere in the neighborhood of 200 miles under my legs. It seems like a lot at this time of year, but a month later I'll be doing the TdK, so 200 miles that week would be good prep for me.
Amy and the kids are gone for a few days. Amy is in Des Moines for a jewelry convention for her business and is staying with John and Becky Hines (friends from Hanfield that moved shortly before we did). She'll be back late tomorrow. The kids are with my folks who will drop them off tomorrow as well. I'm loving having family so close. This will be the third time in a month that I've seen Mom and Dad compared with about three times a year the last several years.
With an empty house, I'm hoping that I might get to come home early tonight and do a little songwriting. Hal has been talking with us about doing a CD project and I just haven't had a chance to really dig in and see what I might be able to contribute. They have offered VTO (voluntary time off) at work tonight, but I didn't take advantage when the arrangements were made last night. There is a chance they will offer more tonight and if they do, I'll take it and write a bit.
After a crazy-long draught, I finally sold a few things on half.com this week. I sold a few CD's and had enough to order a book I've wanted for awhile called "The Substance of Style: How the Rise of Aesthetic Value Is Remaking Commerce, Culture, & Consciousness" by Virginia Postrel. It's a book that Sally Morgenthaler mentioned a few years ago at a retreat that Tim Helm and I went to and I've been intrigued by the premise ever since. I also saw Postrel on a panel discussion on the Dennis Miller Show last year and was really impressed by how insightful she was, so I'm looking forward to digging in. A lot of art/culture ramifications that I'm looking forward to working through.
I also set enough money aside to get Charlie Hall's CD that comes out next week (unless you were lucky enough to pick it up at Passion earlier this month) called "Flying Into Daybreak." For those that don't know, Charlie has probably influenced me more than any other lead worshipper in terms of leadership style and even though he's less in the limelight than his labelmates Chris Tomlin and David Crowder, he is a great songwriter who draws a great deal of his language and themes from the Old Testament prophets. His stuff is meaty and well worth the time invested.
We've been invited back to the Sheldon Church of the Brethren to speak and lead for a service again on March 12. I need to get a bit of groundwork laid for what I'll talk about so that I can be a little more prepared than I was last time. I am so thankful for the opportunity to teach and to improve in that area of gifting. I feel like there is a gift there, but it is woefully underdeveloped. Any opportunity to speak is a chance to improve, so I'm looking forward to it a great deal. They also let us know that we are on their short list for fill-ins while they search for a new pastor, so that was encouraging as well.
Hopefully, inspiration and opportunity are on a collision course and I'll be a bit more inclined to write in the days ahead. I tend to find that seasons of thinking are necessary for seasons of communication to happen in my life and I sense that I'm in more of a thinking season at present.
On the deep thinking end of the pool, I just finished Brian McLaren's "A New Kind of Christian" which I've been wanting to read for awhile. It is filled with thoughts to ponder for the Christian as we find ourselves being surrounded by a more postmodern culture than our modern church upbringings know how to deal with. These are thoughts I've been wrestling with for the better part of two years and probably have been working at a subconscious level in me for the better part of five. There is a lot of challenging thought in the book that will be dismissed by a lot of people in the church for a variety of reasons, but I think it is well worth really working through these issues if we desire to see something other than the generic, subcultural, modern way of doing church as that which we will stake all of our future ministry endeavors on.
That's not to say that the modern church will cease to exist. I still believe it will serve a vital part of the Great Commission for generations to come. But to pretend that it has the potential to reach a postmodern culture on the other side of a cultural shift that is taking place is a mistake. It is much the same as the missionary efforts to native groups where they were asked to abandon all that they were and to adopt the western European form of Christianity instead of recognizing that Christ came to redeem things as much as to replace them. Again, this is a thought that I'm still in the early stages of putting into cohesive thought, so forgive me if it's a bit rough yet.
Anyway, that's a bit of where my thinking has been of late.
I also finally broke down and set up my bike in our basement on my trainer so that I can begin to get the blood pumping and get ready to hit the road once the weather allows. We've had a few nice days here and there, but I've not been able to take advantage. I'm planning on doing the Tour de Kota in June again and worry that my early season prep might not be as easy this year as last because of my new schedule and the fact that spring in South Dakota is colder and windier than spring in Indiana was. We are hoping to be able to travel to Indiana in May for a week to see our Hanfield family, but I'll have more details on that as the plans take shape. While we're there, I plan to hit a lot of my favorite ride routes and would like to get somewhere in the neighborhood of 200 miles under my legs. It seems like a lot at this time of year, but a month later I'll be doing the TdK, so 200 miles that week would be good prep for me.
Amy and the kids are gone for a few days. Amy is in Des Moines for a jewelry convention for her business and is staying with John and Becky Hines (friends from Hanfield that moved shortly before we did). She'll be back late tomorrow. The kids are with my folks who will drop them off tomorrow as well. I'm loving having family so close. This will be the third time in a month that I've seen Mom and Dad compared with about three times a year the last several years.
With an empty house, I'm hoping that I might get to come home early tonight and do a little songwriting. Hal has been talking with us about doing a CD project and I just haven't had a chance to really dig in and see what I might be able to contribute. They have offered VTO (voluntary time off) at work tonight, but I didn't take advantage when the arrangements were made last night. There is a chance they will offer more tonight and if they do, I'll take it and write a bit.
After a crazy-long draught, I finally sold a few things on half.com this week. I sold a few CD's and had enough to order a book I've wanted for awhile called "The Substance of Style: How the Rise of Aesthetic Value Is Remaking Commerce, Culture, & Consciousness" by Virginia Postrel. It's a book that Sally Morgenthaler mentioned a few years ago at a retreat that Tim Helm and I went to and I've been intrigued by the premise ever since. I also saw Postrel on a panel discussion on the Dennis Miller Show last year and was really impressed by how insightful she was, so I'm looking forward to digging in. A lot of art/culture ramifications that I'm looking forward to working through.
I also set enough money aside to get Charlie Hall's CD that comes out next week (unless you were lucky enough to pick it up at Passion earlier this month) called "Flying Into Daybreak." For those that don't know, Charlie has probably influenced me more than any other lead worshipper in terms of leadership style and even though he's less in the limelight than his labelmates Chris Tomlin and David Crowder, he is a great songwriter who draws a great deal of his language and themes from the Old Testament prophets. His stuff is meaty and well worth the time invested.
We've been invited back to the Sheldon Church of the Brethren to speak and lead for a service again on March 12. I need to get a bit of groundwork laid for what I'll talk about so that I can be a little more prepared than I was last time. I am so thankful for the opportunity to teach and to improve in that area of gifting. I feel like there is a gift there, but it is woefully underdeveloped. Any opportunity to speak is a chance to improve, so I'm looking forward to it a great deal. They also let us know that we are on their short list for fill-ins while they search for a new pastor, so that was encouraging as well.
Hopefully, inspiration and opportunity are on a collision course and I'll be a bit more inclined to write in the days ahead. I tend to find that seasons of thinking are necessary for seasons of communication to happen in my life and I sense that I'm in more of a thinking season at present.
Friday, January 13, 2006
Late Break
I started writing this last night, but my musings went a bit longer than my 15 minute break would allow. Anyway, here it is:
Well, I have only the likes of David Crowder and Kevin Prosch to keep me company as the rest of my team (including my manager Kim) have left. I'm neck deep in return mail which flies pretty quickly due to its repetitious nature. I enjoy it most because I can get absolutely lost in my thoughts without worrying about missing anything.
The thought I alluded to in my earlier post is really very much in its infancy, but I've been drawn to it and have drawn it to me on several occasions today so that I can turn it over and over in my heart to see where it leads. As I was just laying down to sleep last night having already been home for an hour and done a few chapters of reading, I decided to turn off the lights and pray as I fell asleep.
As I conversed with God, I began to ask Him where this journey was leading and He impressed on me the need to recognize that my perception of the journey was flawed. I think I've tended to see the journey as a timeline, easily graphed, in which there is a clear beginning and ending and all of the points between those points lead in a direct path.
God told me to recognize that there is a topography to the journey as well, and not just the uphill/downhill one that we might think, but there is a full 360 degrees of motion on the journey to consider as well. What I mean is that there are times where point A and point B can be reached via a straight path, but that it's not the only way. Think about it this way, if you are walking and you can see the place you are headed to but you encounter a ravine, it makes sense that you might seek another way around the physical barriers to help you reach your destination dry and safe.
Another way of thinking about it is the old "long way around the barn" analogy. If points A and B are on opposite ends of the barn and the barn door is locked or barred, you have the choice of standing and banging on the door until someone lets you in, physically trying to unlock, unblock or break your way in so that you may pass through, or you can just go the long way around, which may prove to be the most expedient path.
It's also possible that even if the doors are wide open, that there is something you need to do outside of the barn on your way from A to B which makes the long way around the best choice.
Imperfect analogies, to be sure, but I'm just beginning to process some of these ideas. The thing that I'm finding interesting is that if we are not on a direct A to B timeline, life gets much more dynamic and so does our perception of God. We will be much less likely to view Him as the great clockmaker or orchestrator of events and will have more capacity to see Him as a Friend and Father who is capable of orchestrating, but who is more interesting in relational collaboration.
What I mean is that He has given us our personalities and free wills so that we may be who we are and act in the way that we act rather than just playing out some cosmic script in which we either get our parts right or we mess the whole scene or play up. Instead of thinking that we're in the wrong place, we may just need to recognize that we're taking the long way around the barn and there may be something we're supposed to do while we're there. The relationship that we have with God will allow communication that will guide us on the journey, but it is still up to us to make the decision as to where we go.
Like I said, I'm still early in thinking about some of these things and I'm sure that some of my thinking is flawed, but I'd just as soon process it out completely to see what might be gained even from the flaws.
Well, I have only the likes of David Crowder and Kevin Prosch to keep me company as the rest of my team (including my manager Kim) have left. I'm neck deep in return mail which flies pretty quickly due to its repetitious nature. I enjoy it most because I can get absolutely lost in my thoughts without worrying about missing anything.
The thought I alluded to in my earlier post is really very much in its infancy, but I've been drawn to it and have drawn it to me on several occasions today so that I can turn it over and over in my heart to see where it leads. As I was just laying down to sleep last night having already been home for an hour and done a few chapters of reading, I decided to turn off the lights and pray as I fell asleep.
As I conversed with God, I began to ask Him where this journey was leading and He impressed on me the need to recognize that my perception of the journey was flawed. I think I've tended to see the journey as a timeline, easily graphed, in which there is a clear beginning and ending and all of the points between those points lead in a direct path.
God told me to recognize that there is a topography to the journey as well, and not just the uphill/downhill one that we might think, but there is a full 360 degrees of motion on the journey to consider as well. What I mean is that there are times where point A and point B can be reached via a straight path, but that it's not the only way. Think about it this way, if you are walking and you can see the place you are headed to but you encounter a ravine, it makes sense that you might seek another way around the physical barriers to help you reach your destination dry and safe.
Another way of thinking about it is the old "long way around the barn" analogy. If points A and B are on opposite ends of the barn and the barn door is locked or barred, you have the choice of standing and banging on the door until someone lets you in, physically trying to unlock, unblock or break your way in so that you may pass through, or you can just go the long way around, which may prove to be the most expedient path.
It's also possible that even if the doors are wide open, that there is something you need to do outside of the barn on your way from A to B which makes the long way around the best choice.
Imperfect analogies, to be sure, but I'm just beginning to process some of these ideas. The thing that I'm finding interesting is that if we are not on a direct A to B timeline, life gets much more dynamic and so does our perception of God. We will be much less likely to view Him as the great clockmaker or orchestrator of events and will have more capacity to see Him as a Friend and Father who is capable of orchestrating, but who is more interesting in relational collaboration.
What I mean is that He has given us our personalities and free wills so that we may be who we are and act in the way that we act rather than just playing out some cosmic script in which we either get our parts right or we mess the whole scene or play up. Instead of thinking that we're in the wrong place, we may just need to recognize that we're taking the long way around the barn and there may be something we're supposed to do while we're there. The relationship that we have with God will allow communication that will guide us on the journey, but it is still up to us to make the decision as to where we go.
Like I said, I'm still early in thinking about some of these things and I'm sure that some of my thinking is flawed, but I'd just as soon process it out completely to see what might be gained even from the flaws.
Musings During a Break
Ironic. I get a break from sitting at the computer at work and I choose to go type some more in the learning resource center. My normal break activity (hanging out with Eric) is shot for the evening as Eric is off tonight. We are getting VTO (again) tonight. I'm staying, but I'm not sure how many on the team will be around to keep me company.
I haven't been inspired to write much this week. Too much clutter on the hard drive between my ears. I wish it was something that could be cleared up by a simple system cleaning, but life tends to be a bit more complicated than that.
We've been thinking more about the church job possibility and have found ourselves back on the fence about it. To add a new wrinkle to what I've already mentioned, we've been thinking about the job as it would apply to me and we've been thinking about how the job would look if Amy applied. I'm not sure how she's feeling about that thought right now (I'm not sure how I am either since it leaves me here for awhile longer). We're planning on visiting the church on the 22nd and going out to lunch with the Pastor after, so we're still not moving so quickly that we can't give it some more thought.
Well, break is almost up. I've got dinner and another 15 minutes later. Maybe I'll write, maybe I won't. I've had some interesting thoughts on the subject of life's journey that I'm sure I'll get around to writing about at some point, but for now, my other computer is calling me.
I haven't been inspired to write much this week. Too much clutter on the hard drive between my ears. I wish it was something that could be cleared up by a simple system cleaning, but life tends to be a bit more complicated than that.
We've been thinking more about the church job possibility and have found ourselves back on the fence about it. To add a new wrinkle to what I've already mentioned, we've been thinking about the job as it would apply to me and we've been thinking about how the job would look if Amy applied. I'm not sure how she's feeling about that thought right now (I'm not sure how I am either since it leaves me here for awhile longer). We're planning on visiting the church on the 22nd and going out to lunch with the Pastor after, so we're still not moving so quickly that we can't give it some more thought.
Well, break is almost up. I've got dinner and another 15 minutes later. Maybe I'll write, maybe I won't. I've had some interesting thoughts on the subject of life's journey that I'm sure I'll get around to writing about at some point, but for now, my other computer is calling me.
Sunday, January 08, 2006
Speaking Recap
After yesterday's ink stoppage, I was finally able to finish prep on the sermon for the Church of the Brethren in Sheldon, IA (the church Amy grew up in) last night and felt fairly comfortable coming into today. We were up at 5:30 to get ourselves and the kids ready for the drive in the hope that we would be there about 9:00. 5:30 was the standard wakeup time for us when we were at Hanfield, but it's a different 5:30 now with my work schedule and Amy's relapse into nightowldom. Regardless, we were out the door, on the road and to the church slightly ahead of schedule and got settled.
It was great to get reacquainted with some of the folks there. It was a very familiar, comfortable setting for us to be in. About the only thing that had changed was that the piano and organ had swapped places.
Amy played piano (including traditional prelude, postlude and offertory), sang for special music and did the children's message. She found the children's message online yesterday and it fit perfectly with what I was talking about. She did a great job and saved me the awkwardness of having to deal with children.
I played guitar for special music and on a couple of hymns, did the Pastoral prayer and the sermon. My primary criteria as to whether I did a good job with the sermon is whether the congregation threatens to stone me or calls me a heretic. Neither of these occurred today, so I think I did alright. I started a little shaky, but it's been a year and a half since the last time I did a sermon, so I expected to be a little rusty. Once I hit stride, I felt fairly comfortable. They asked us to come back, so it couldn't have been that bad. I even had a few folks tell me that I did better than some of the older, more experienced speakers that they've had come in.
Mom and Dad were able to make it, so we went out with them afterward to The Family Table for lunch. I was interested to hear more about a "painted violin" that he's been working on for a fundraiser for the Northwest Iowa Symphony Orchestra. They sent him a beat-up old violin for him to paint that they will auction to raise funds for the orchestra later this year. He and Mom have done some surgery to repair it a bit and dad has had to do extensive cleaning on it. Unfortunately, the materials that he's working with on the painting side of things has been giving him headaches. Hopefully it's still a project that he'll be proud of once it's finished.
Amy and Maia slept a bit on the way home and Xander kept himself occupied with his Leap Pad. Maia's nap wasn't quite long enough and after being home for 30 minutes, she is back in bed. I think I'm headed that way as well as coherent thought is becoming more difficult by the keystroke.
It was great to get reacquainted with some of the folks there. It was a very familiar, comfortable setting for us to be in. About the only thing that had changed was that the piano and organ had swapped places.
Amy played piano (including traditional prelude, postlude and offertory), sang for special music and did the children's message. She found the children's message online yesterday and it fit perfectly with what I was talking about. She did a great job and saved me the awkwardness of having to deal with children.
I played guitar for special music and on a couple of hymns, did the Pastoral prayer and the sermon. My primary criteria as to whether I did a good job with the sermon is whether the congregation threatens to stone me or calls me a heretic. Neither of these occurred today, so I think I did alright. I started a little shaky, but it's been a year and a half since the last time I did a sermon, so I expected to be a little rusty. Once I hit stride, I felt fairly comfortable. They asked us to come back, so it couldn't have been that bad. I even had a few folks tell me that I did better than some of the older, more experienced speakers that they've had come in.
Mom and Dad were able to make it, so we went out with them afterward to The Family Table for lunch. I was interested to hear more about a "painted violin" that he's been working on for a fundraiser for the Northwest Iowa Symphony Orchestra. They sent him a beat-up old violin for him to paint that they will auction to raise funds for the orchestra later this year. He and Mom have done some surgery to repair it a bit and dad has had to do extensive cleaning on it. Unfortunately, the materials that he's working with on the painting side of things has been giving him headaches. Hopefully it's still a project that he'll be proud of once it's finished.
Amy and Maia slept a bit on the way home and Xander kept himself occupied with his Leap Pad. Maia's nap wasn't quite long enough and after being home for 30 minutes, she is back in bed. I think I'm headed that way as well as coherent thought is becoming more difficult by the keystroke.
Saturday, January 07, 2006
My Printer's Not as Smart as it Thinks it is
I'm taking a forced break during sermon prep while I wait for Amy to come home so I can go pick up some ink for our printer. I haven't been writing here much this week because I've been preparing the sermon for our guest stint at the Sheldon Church of the Brethren tomorrow. My normal prep routine is to study and write, study and write some more, write everything that as a first draft, print it, practice it, revise it, reprint, repeat until I'm either satisfied with it or I simply run out of time.
I'm finally done writing the first draft, but the printer quit after one page and is telling me that I have to replace the ink because I'm out of black. Never mind the fact that I just printed the first page successfully with no fading whatsoever. I miss our old printer which didn't warn you that it was running out because it didn't know. I would have been able to finish the first draft with the amount of ink that I have left and could set about the practice, revise phase of preparation. As it stands, I'm stuck with a printer that is smart enough to know that it needs to have its ink replaced, but not smart enough to know that it could probably help me out by spitting out a first draft even if the ink fades.
Stupid, smart printer.
I'm finally done writing the first draft, but the printer quit after one page and is telling me that I have to replace the ink because I'm out of black. Never mind the fact that I just printed the first page successfully with no fading whatsoever. I miss our old printer which didn't warn you that it was running out because it didn't know. I would have been able to finish the first draft with the amount of ink that I have left and could set about the practice, revise phase of preparation. As it stands, I'm stuck with a printer that is smart enough to know that it needs to have its ink replaced, but not smart enough to know that it could probably help me out by spitting out a first draft even if the ink fades.
Stupid, smart printer.
Tuesday, January 03, 2006
A Church Job?
The holidays have left me a bit behind on the latest developments. I'm looking forward to catching up a bit and am sneaking a few minutes on my dinner break to write this post.
About two weeks ago, Hal told me about a music job at a Wesleyan church here in town. I decided it wouldn't hurt anything to apply and sent my resume in a few days before Christmas. In the process, I was able to check out the church's web site and see that there was a strong Marion, IN connection as three of the staff, including the Senior Pastor, have a degree of one kind or another from IWU. The Senior Pastor, Bill, is actually from Marion and his folks still live there.
I sat down with Bill last week and we had a nice conversation about my background, the work that I've done and the position that the church is looking to fill. I had lunch immediately afterward with Hal and we discussed it a bit. The word "interesting" was the word we kept gravitating to. The church is currently using a blended worship style and is wanting to transition to where they would have traditional, blended and contemporary (insert your definition of "contemporary" here) as three separate service styles by the end of the year and they want somebody who can lead them through that transition and onward.
I know some of you that know me are probably surprised that I would consider such a position given my more "progressive" tendencies. Well, I was surprised at how seriously I was considering it as well. In looking at it, I know it is something that I could do. It certainly has its own challenges, but the tasks are things I have done before and I wanted to give it a complete look before making a decision in case it is something that God would have me do.
(Several hours and a drive home later...)
Today I was able to sit down with Bill, Steve (Youth Pastor) and Jeff (Outreach Pastor) for about 90 minutes. It was another good conversation. They are each guys that I enjoyed meeting and talking with and I was better able to get a sense of where the church has been and where it is headed through our time together. The picture that I see is of a church that is poised to do more of the same kind of ministry that they've been doing with slightly expanded programming and a little more varied methodology in terms of worship styles. I don't see a lot of innovative, God-sized challenges though (at least by my definition) and that may be why I find myself reluctant to get too excited about the possibility of working there.
Please don't get me wrong. I think that it is a church that is doing some great things and has some great ministry ahead, I just don't know that it would be the right fit for me or me for them. It feels like a position intended for someone else whose passions and vision are more in line with that of the church.
As I've thought about it, I can't help but wonder how effectively I could lead in a direction that I'm not really going myself. Maybe the church and I both need to be challenged by a season spent in service together, but it feels like a forced fit. I am very much reminded of how God provided "outs" for us when He called us to Hanfield by offering us opportunities more in line with what we were comfortable with and closer to home. This feels like the easy way out, which makes me very suspicious.
I have not made a decision yet and feel that we are to continue in the conversation, regardless of whether a job is offered or accepted. Who knows what God has in mind through the conversations we've had or those that are to come. We could find ourselves partnered together in ministry endeavors down the road whether we go to this church or not.
It's also given me more opportunity to think about church planting. It's an idea that I've been hesitant about, but seem to find myself more strongly pulled toward all the time. It's not that other churches aren't good enough, it's just that God has wired me in a unique way and given me a strong desire to pioneer and be an innovator in what church looks like in a post-Christian culture. I don't see a lot of that kind of ministry happening here and can't help but wonder if God didn't call me here to blaze a new trail that helps to establish a viable church for the next generation in this community.
It may be delusions of grandeur, except for the fact that I know I am not smart enough or gifted enough to pull it off. Now, that's a God-sized vision.
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