My Desert

I've been reading a book called "Alternative Worship" by Jonny Baker & Doug Gay which has been a huge boost to my devotional time of late. It is primarily a collection of liturgical and ritual ideas for alternative worship services surrounding Advent, Lent, Easter and Pentecost.

In the Lent section, some of the liturgy and ritual ideas were around a desert theme. They talked about how after Jesus was baptized, he went into the desert before his testing by Satan. The assertion was that Jesus went into the desert to find his identity.

It gave me cause to consider where my "desert" is. Where do I go to find space to hear the "still, small voice" and allow God to reveal who He is and who I am in Him?

This morning I had opportunity to get out on the bike before work. I've been riding for years and hope to log over 2500 miles this year. I had hardly started when I realized that I was in my desert. It's from the saddle of my bike that I am strengthened in body, mind and spirit. It is there that I find space from the distractions of work and home and can clear my mind. It is there that my theology and philosophy is sharpened, reworked and redefined. It is there that my thirst for communion with God is quenched as I drink deeply of His creation and my soul is fed through the bread of His presence.

Since I'm usually out for at least 90 minutes each time, there is more opportunity to pray, listen, respond, worship. My best worship planning has happened on the bike. Many of my most insightful observations about ministry have happened with two wheels beneath me. It is there that He speaks most clearly to me. God has spoken through the veil of haze on an early summer ride to captivate me by the idea that he is "veiled in majesty." He has shown spoken about my ability to withstand temptation as I've sprinted to escape dogs on my route. He has shown me my need for effort and rest and for assessing my hills and headwinds in ministry so that I don't burn out before I've reached the goal.

Today I felt like myself again. It was the first time I'd been on the bike in almost two months and the first morning ride I'd had since October. I had realized that I was itching to ride, but today it was clear that the itch was for God and the place he was waiting meant fighting a 15 mph headwind for part of the way and climbing hills that seared my unconditioned legs. I know that the hills won't hurt so bad when my strength and conditioning come back over the coming weeks. I also know that God will increase the strength of my mind and spirit as I enter the desert.

Steppin' Out

Long time since I checked in. Our computer went down in mid February, its replacement took about four weeks to get here and I've had a few conferences and Easter to keep me occupied as well. Thankfully, I was able to get back on the bike this morning, so thoughts should be flowing freely that will keep me checking in.

Biggest thing going on right now is that we've made the first steps in making our departure for Sioux Falls official. We'll be communicating with different groups over the next few weeks and plan to be leaving sometime this summer. Still nothing concrete as far as jobs are concerned, but I'll get a little more worked up about that when it's June or July.

I am feeling very much at peace even though I hate to leave. I've already been observing "lasts" (last Easter, last Passover Meal) and have started to anticipate what's going to happen in terms of grieving over the next few months. Our time at Hanfield has shaped and grown us more than any other time in our lives. We have great friends who love us, some of who we may never see again. We have started things that we'll never get to see the fruit of and believe that the best days of ministry for the church will be after we have left.

We've had a few people tell us it's not too late to change our minds, but it's not mine to change. The call becomes more important to me as time goes on and if we were to stay here when we were called to leave, we'd do more harm than good. I believe that we are headed in the right direction and Tim shared with us today that he felt that release in prayer as well recently (just another way that God has confirmed the call).

We're praying to finish well and to help Hanfield by making the transition the best it can possibly be. Ironically, the best season of worship we've had in years has been the last three months. It makes it a little harder to leave, but I'd rather leave with things going well than when things are a mess. I know that God has someone in mind to replace us and I'm hoping that they are listening to His call.