Friday, September 30, 2005

Six months waiting for a DVD

I finally received a DVD that I ordered several months ago from a conference at Willow Creek that I attended with some of our Children's Ministry workers from Hanfield. Phil Vischer, the creator of Veggie Tales and voice of several of the leading characters spoke in a session titled, "Dream." I looked forward to this very much as I not only have enjoyed Veggie Tales since before the kids were born, but I knew that the company took a nose dive and I was very interested to hear what Phil had to say on the topic. At the time, nobody else on the trip knew that Amy and I were about to announce our move from Hanfield to minister to artists in Sioux Falls and I listened to what Phil had to say with a great deal of interest from an artist's perspective.

Phil's session had a great deal of impact on me, so I ordered the DVD a few weeks later. In May, when it was almost time for us to move from Indiana, I realized I still had not received the DVD. I called, told them I hadn't received it and gave them Amy's mom's address since that would be our next destination. August came, still no DVD. I decided to wait until we were settled in Sioux Falls before pursuing it. I called again on Monday and the folks at Willow were confused as to what had happened and overnighted the DVD to me. I received it on Tuesday. I really wasn't the least bit upset about how long it took. I knew I'd get it eventually unless I forgot about it.

The last week has been a bit trying for us. I didn't get the teaching job, we're in a place that's maybe half the size of our house in Indiana, our income is a little over half of what we were making when we left, we're sleeping on air mattresses and living out of boxes for probably another month until we can get our furniture. A fair amount of discontent with our situation has resided at our place.

Today before work, I popped the DVD in with Amy and Xander during lunch. I now know why it took so long for it to come. We needed to hear what Phil had to say now, not several months ago. We had to reach the point that we are at so that God could speak clearly to us through Phil's words.

He spoke of the rise and fall of Big Idea, the company he had founded that had grown to the largest animation studio between the coasts with greater direct to video sales than any other animated franchise. It was a ministry that was reaching millions of people and was being noticed in pop culture and has even been referenced by The Simpsons on several occasions. In the midst of the success, sales stopped growing. They struggled to make headway, were taken to court by a former distributor (falsely accused, according to Phil) and lost everything. All that he had poured his energy into was gone in no time.

He talked about what happens when you have a God-given dream, realize the dream and then it dies. He talked about the Shunamite woman and Elisha (2 Kings 4:8-37) and Abraham and Isaac (Genesis 22: 1-18) and how it appeared that God was going to take away the dream from the woman and Abraham in the two stories to see whether they loved the dream more or God. He made the point that sometimes when God takes the dream away, He gives it back. He also pointed out that sometimes He doesn't.

We've been mourning the loss of a community, of identity, of security, of validation, of certainty, of influence, of purpose and of importance (by our definition). What we heard today was the truth that God wants to know that we love Him more than these things and that He's willing to make us into nothing to get His answer.

Sometimes success can be our biggest obstacle to our being used by God. Sometimes we come to love the dream, the ministry, the work of God so much that it obscures our ability to love God. We begin to make ourselves jump higher, run farther and work harder because we believe that our ministry for God is the most important thing, but we miss the fact that God, Himself is the most important thing. Phil referenced C.S. Lewis who said that he who has God and everything has the same as he who had God and nothing.

We are no richer or poorer than we were when we started this journey. If anything, we may be being made more suitable for what God has in store.

Psalm 13

How long, O Lord? Will You forget me forever?
How long will you hide your face from me?
How long must I wrestle with my thoughts
and every day have sorrow in my heart?
How long will my enemy triumph over me?

Look on me and answer, O Lord my God.
Give light to my eyes, or I will sleep in death;
my enemy will say, "I have overcome him,"
and my foes will rejoice when I fall.

But I trust in your unfailing love;
my heart rejoices in your salvation.
I will sing to the Lord
for he has been good to me.

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