More Human Than I Mean to Be

I found myself say to Tory last night at work that I wish I could stop being so schizophrenic. I seem to be on a never ending roller coaster between having great days and horrible days with very little in between. My life reads like the Psalms right now with great occurrences where God is incredibly present and depressions that suck the joy out of anything that I encounter.

Thankfully, today was a good day. Good days are always better for me to reflect on our current situation to get a better scope of the terrain. You see a lot more from the mountain top than the valley floor. I've decided that I'm glad I'm as human as I've been feeling lately. At least people that see me and know about my faith get the picture that Christian living doesn't make me into some species that doesn't resemble who they are. I've seen too many Christians that seemed to spend every waking second of every day in some sort of Stepford stupor that just reeks of inauthenticity. I try to be nothing if not authentic.

Amy had a great day today. She got to go to one of the local high schools to "audition" with one of the teachers who might recommend her for voice lessons for some of her students. Amy received rave reviews and got a much needed ego stroke out of the experience. I told her that if they thought she sang well, they should be even more impressed with her teaching. Even if she wasn't my wife, as a musician I would go on the record as saying that she is a great voice teacher. I thought when she taught at IWU that she was better than anybody they had there. She gets more out of less than almost any teacher that I know. Of course, she learned from great teachers like Brad Dighton and Frank Aiello and does them proud to carry the torch.

I really think that the studio is going to pick up for Amy in the weeks ahead. She's added a few new students this week and, with the contacts she is making, should be able to pick up more as contest season approaches. I'm excited for her. I'm also relieved, because finances have been very tight.

Work ran the gamut of emotions this week. We had a lot of people gone this week with a lot of voluntary time off offered due to a lack of mail for us to work. It makes for a more relaxed atmosphere when there's less people and less activity. I was the only person on the team to actually work a full 40 hours this week (not a judgment against anybody else who took VTO since I wish that I could have joined them). Eric showed up with Mr. Pibb and Red Vines tonight, which, as anyone who has ever tried really knows, equals crazy delicious.

The low point at work came when Patricia came in on Wednesday afternoon after having an MRI done the night before. She's been having some problems and they were able to confirm that she does have a tumor. As she described it, it reminded me a lot of when Christal Helm (our Pastor's daughter and great friend from Hanfield) had a tumor a few years ago in high school. Christal had the surgery and is doing great now. I find myself believing that the same will be true for Patricia, but I just don't know. My heart breaks for her as I think about the uncertainty of what she's facing right now. I'm glad that I've been given the opportunity to work with her, to be her friend and to, hopefully, bring hope. I don't think she realizes how much she is loved or prayed for.

God, do what you desire. Move in this situation in Patricia's life and be glorified in it. May she have a truer understanding of who she is in Your eyes while she walks through this. Bring comfort. Bring peace. Bring hope. Be who You are and give her a glimpse.

Amen