Late Break

I started writing this last night, but my musings went a bit longer than my 15 minute break would allow. Anyway, here it is:

Well, I have only the likes of David Crowder and Kevin Prosch to keep me company as the rest of my team (including my manager Kim) have left. I'm neck deep in return mail which flies pretty quickly due to its repetitious nature. I enjoy it most because I can get absolutely lost in my thoughts without worrying about missing anything.

The thought I alluded to in my earlier post is really very much in its infancy, but I've been drawn to it and have drawn it to me on several occasions today so that I can turn it over and over in my heart to see where it leads. As I was just laying down to sleep last night having already been home for an hour and done a few chapters of reading, I decided to turn off the lights and pray as I fell asleep.

As I conversed with God, I began to ask Him where this journey was leading and He impressed on me the need to recognize that my perception of the journey was flawed. I think I've tended to see the journey as a timeline, easily graphed, in which there is a clear beginning and ending and all of the points between those points lead in a direct path.

God told me to recognize that there is a topography to the journey as well, and not just the uphill/downhill one that we might think, but there is a full 360 degrees of motion on the journey to consider as well. What I mean is that there are times where point A and point B can be reached via a straight path, but that it's not the only way. Think about it this way, if you are walking and you can see the place you are headed to but you encounter a ravine, it makes sense that you might seek another way around the physical barriers to help you reach your destination dry and safe.

Another way of thinking about it is the old "long way around the barn" analogy. If points A and B are on opposite ends of the barn and the barn door is locked or barred, you have the choice of standing and banging on the door until someone lets you in, physically trying to unlock, unblock or break your way in so that you may pass through, or you can just go the long way around, which may prove to be the most expedient path.

It's also possible that even if the doors are wide open, that there is something you need to do outside of the barn on your way from A to B which makes the long way around the best choice.

Imperfect analogies, to be sure, but I'm just beginning to process some of these ideas. The thing that I'm finding interesting is that if we are not on a direct A to B timeline, life gets much more dynamic and so does our perception of God. We will be much less likely to view Him as the great clockmaker or orchestrator of events and will have more capacity to see Him as a Friend and Father who is capable of orchestrating, but who is more interesting in relational collaboration.

What I mean is that He has given us our personalities and free wills so that we may be who we are and act in the way that we act rather than just playing out some cosmic script in which we either get our parts right or we mess the whole scene or play up. Instead of thinking that we're in the wrong place, we may just need to recognize that we're taking the long way around the barn and there may be something we're supposed to do while we're there. The relationship that we have with God will allow communication that will guide us on the journey, but it is still up to us to make the decision as to where we go.

Like I said, I'm still early in thinking about some of these things and I'm sure that some of my thinking is flawed, but I'd just as soon process it out completely to see what might be gained even from the flaws.