Saturday, January 10, 2009

A bit more perspective

Last week's doom and gloom mood has given way to mostly sunny skies. Thursday's rehearsal last week was tough. I was really struggling to begin with, but then to have to talk to the team about it and keep on track to prepare for Sunday's service was hard. When I got home I told Amy that the church was either going to get a pretty raw, emotional worship leader on Sunday or one that was just going through the motions. Thankfully, it was the emotional leader that emerged and we had connected worship for the first time in a few months.

By the time I left for work on Friday, I was a pretty depressed, unsocial mess and had a really hard time being around people. Thankfully, late in the day, the job demanded that I interact with some people and as I began to talk with customers, I started to come out of my funk. We're still processing through a lot of changes with things at Mercy as Amy steps out of 2nd service, but our outlook is definitely more positive than it was a week ago.

One of the discussions that I had with someone this week brought out the idea that maybe we're trying to do too many things in worship in its current format and are not leaving enough space for more charismatic worship and moves of the Holy Spirit to happen. Ironically enough, the basic elements are the same as they were when we started at the church and we've only adjusted the order of the service a bit. We'll probably try playing with things some while Shel is on sabbatical and see if we hit a different stride that might help carry things forward.

One element that I think needs to change is the ability for us to "team lead" worship. My approach to leading a worship team has long been one of encouraging and empowering other team members to grow in and contribute their gifts in order for the team to be more effective. Sounds kind of like what Paul is talking about he talks about the church being the Body of Christ doesn't it?

One of the things that has been expressed to me is that I need to increase and other team members need to decrease in order for me to effectively carry out the role that I play as worship leader. I will readily admit that this is an idea that I have yet to fully embrace. In talking with Bobbi the other night at rehearsal, I told her that I trust and value her sensitivity and leadership and have given her permission to lead in areas where she has more experience than I do, especially in areas of charismatic expression. I'm hoping that if we start to work together in these areas, we'll begin to function in ways that allow for more dynamic worship.

Amy and I are continuing to process through things and we're looking at this season as a time to wait on the Lord and see what He desires to do, teach and birth in us that will help us grow for what's ahead. Pruning/refining is not a fun process, but I'm far more hopeful for continued ministry at Mercy than I was a week ago.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

I just found your blog, maybe 15 minutes ago, but reading through “A bit more perspective”, there are a couple things that come to mind.

Within the body of Christ, we have placed far too much emphasis on the role of leadership. We see this in the typical role of the pastor and with how people want you to be more out front and center of attention as worship leader. It seems the problem that you are running into is that people are judging the job you are doing according to a manmade standard, according to how they see others in your position doing the job.

I don’t know from experience how you lead, but from what I have read, it seems that you are on the right track. As spiritual leaders, we need to be spending more time raising people up and placing the tools and resourced into their hands so that they can do the job that God has placed before them. We need to spend more time drawing people together and helping them to step into their role and calling.

Just think of the role of conductor in an orchestra. The conductor’s job is not to draw the source of attention to himself, but to encourage each of the members of the orchestra to rise up and be the best they can be as individuals, while drawing them together to play as part of the greater whole. When one instrument stands out more than the others, it will detract from the functioning of the whole. It is only when they excel in their ability to complement each other with their individual abilities as musicians, that they will be able to make truly beautiful music.

In whatever we do, we need to listen to our hearts and to the voice of the Holy Spirit guiding us, walking accordingly. We get so caught up in listening to our peers and trying to please everyone, that we totally forget that it is the Holy Spirit that guides our steps and shows us the way that we should go. When we do things God’s way, people will naturally disagree and quite often, we will look like fools because of how things appear from the outside, but we need to remember that He has a much greater plan in mind.

You may not be the most charismatic worship leader that ever lived. Who cares? Just think of how God is using you to impact the lives of the people on the worship team, calling them up to a greater standard and enabling them to in turn affect the lives of others. We need more people who aren’t afraid to seek God’s way of doing things who are willing to take the focus off of themselves, so that they may help bring unity and enable the greater body of Christ. We are all responsible for our own choices. In the end we will not be judged by what others told us to do, but according to the choice that we ourselves made. Follow your heart and you will never go wrong.

Jay Turner