Community and Story

Getting into the groove with a new small group is always interesting. The group that my wife, Amy, is leading and we are hosting at our house has been pretty typical of the "getting to know you" dynamic of a new group. It's that place where we are willing to share on a very superficial level as we begin to assess how much we trust each other. We've been a part of a few new groups over the last 13 years and we know that each group is unique in how quickly that trust develops. Each group is also unique in how that trust develops. For some it's a slow burn with no defining moment, for others a moment of breakthrough happens and the dynamic of the group is changed forever. I think our group had one of those moments last night.

Before I go on, I will tell you by way of disclaimer that I believe strongly in the confidentiality of the group and will not be sharing anybody's story without first getting their permission to do so. That's a part of the trust that has to be established for a group to feel comfortable enough to share the hard stuff. Without it, we can never feel free to risk with each other in ways that allow us to be truly known by the people that God has placed us in community with.

Our group has been using a DVD resource about our stories and the discussion questions were very much built around giving us an opportunity to share our stories with one another. The questions haven't kept things at a surface level either as they've not only dealt with our backgrounds and faith journeys but have specifically asked us to share about our disappointments and struggles. We've been willing to share some of these things, but they have all been the things that we, personally, have already come to terms with. They are things that we still feel in control of and where resolution has already occurred in our minds.

So far, little risk.

Last night one of our group members took the plunge into the unknown and risked. A lot. They had not shared much over the first few weeks, but last night really opened up about their past, their hurt and the struggle of trusting in and walking with God in the midst of everything they had experienced. When they finished, there wasn't a dry eye and Amy, wisely, took some time to pray before moving on.

The beautiful thing was the response of the group wasn't one of pity, but one of genuine love and empathy. I didn't see in this person a weakness because of their brokenness, but a strength of spirit and a dogged determination to hold onto the hope of God no matter how hard it may be on any given day.

I believe that they opened a door for us last night and invited us to risk more and love deeper. My prayer is that we will be up to the challenge and will never be the same because we encountered something of the eternal in someone else's story.