prayers and dreams of a satellite soul

Old journal entry

2011-10-29T14:37:00.002-05:00

Here's something I came across in a journal of mine from eight years ago:

"You don't light a candle and then put it under a bowl. Is the church that bowl? What are our people doing to carry the light that is in them to the world? If their light isn't even shining in the church, how can we expect it to be shining elsewhere?"

Ouch. This is something I think we as a church need to ask ourselves more often than we do. Are we really loving each other? Are we coming to each others' rescue when everything is falling apart? If someone in the body is hurting, do they believe that anyone hurts with them or do they feel only isolation? Church should be a place where it is safe for us to practice the art of love and where we do so frequently so that we are better suited to practice the same love in places where it is more difficult. By doing so, we become the light of the world.

Reflections on Gungor's "Ghosts Upon the Earth"

2011-10-16T17:17:00.000-05:00

This is a reflection exercise that I did in listening to Gungor's "Ghosts Upon the Earth" on vinyl. It's not meant to be a complete, critical analysis of the work, just impressions and thoughts on it as I listened and took time to see what it brought to mind for me as observer. A few songs from the full album were not included on the LP, so they are not represented here, though I may revisit those at a later date.

Let There Be Light
The story of creation-
Chaos, formless, dissonant at the beginning speaks of the formlessness and mystery of the void.
The first occurrence of “Let there be” brings the first sense of form and harmony. Order begins to be established as God speaks His word.

As things begin to form, the fall of angels is spoken of in disharmony again, but things begin to take a more rhythmic, purposeful shape and as creation begins to take more form it grows in volume and definition.

The Word of God is left at the end of the crescendo as one of understated authority as “Let there be light” is finally uttered. God’s word does not have to be loud in order to establish His will. Even as chaos and disorder are apparent and conflict in the creation builds, God is working toward His purposes.

After the Word is spoken, tremors grow and eruption brings to full display the power, beauty and grandness of God’s power displayed through the act of creation.

Retelling the creation story in this way is possibly the most ambitious album opening that I have ever encountered. So, so powerful. When I still myself to listen, I am moved to tears every time I hear it.

Brother Moon
I almost see this as expressing the feelings of Adam and Eve in the Garden of Eden. It begins very light, playful and natural (organic) through the use of acoustic instruments, especially flutes and strings which have a pastorale association in a lot of music.

Speaks of how the creation partners with us to reveal God’s beauty and character and how we are moved to worship. The moon, sun and all of creation speak to who God is and how He is at work in the world. The response is one of satisfaction and joy in the expression of God as everything good and beautiful.

That expression continues to grow in it’s joy and complexity as more of God is revealed to us through the act of worship. Sometimes, understanding God more is less of a head thing and is better suited to experiencing Him in what He’s given.

The ending begins to become a little disjointed as though it points to the disunity that is to come between God and man, as well as between individual people.

Crags and Clay
The first noticeably electronic sounds. Possibly the awakening of the realization of human potential in God’s story.

Rhythmically very complex undercurrents to a simple melodic expression. Perhaps an awakening to creation being more complex than previously understood bringing about a more reflective awareness of our place in God’s created order. The reflective counterpart to joyful, exuberance of Brother Moon.

The last expression of worship is left to the female voice as though to symbolize Eve’s voice as the last that is heard before the Fall.

The Fall
Mournful, cinematic setting as if from an old, French film signifying the loss that has come at the expense of our fellowship with God. The first verse expresses an understanding of how irrevocably broken we are through the Fall.

The first call of “How long?” signifies our inability to make things right and our need of God to rebuild that which is broken.

“Turn your face to me” is God’s response. The first calm, re-establishment of connection as we are invited back into His presence. The relationship may not be the same as it was, but we have not been rejected as would have been His right.

The oboe interlude seems a moment where the invitation to turn is received, but the recognition that things can’t return to how they were sinks in and leaves us still wanting.

The second verse speaks of how the light was gone and night established in our hearts- the light was gone, the life within us with it.

Again, God offers us return by turning our face and the invitation seems more to be received this time. Hope begins to echo as we release our struggle with life to the Giver of life.

When Death Dies
Opens in a minor key, with a similar instrumentation to The Fall. It’s almost as if this is the counterpart to The Fall where God begins the active phase of the redemption story and answers the “How longs?” of life.

The vocal effects in the first verse have an almost ghostly feel to them as though being sung by those dead in their sin. After the first chorus and the declaration of “When death dies, all things live.” the effect is no longer used and we are brought back to the life and hope of life in reconciliation with God.

There is a different intensity to this part of the redemption story. There is still the struggle of the minor key, but a sense of partnering with God in expressing the hope of this resurrection life. The instrumental with the violin and cello trading parts back and forth plays as an illustration of the relationship between God and his children of this partnership.

“Flowers grow, lions sleep, gravestones roll...” such great use of natural and Biblical imagery to convey the fullness of what God will do for us through the Cross and the Resurrection. This is the prophetic part of the Gospel story.

Church Bells
“Let church bells ring. Let children sing. Even if they don’t know why, let them sing.” Don’t resent the joy experienced by those who have not experienced the burdens of life like you have. Don’t rob them of their joy just because you’ve lost yours.

This is a prayer for cynicism and jaded hearts to be healed.

“Let old men dance, lift up their hands. Even if they are naive, let them dance. You’ve seen it all, you watched them fall, wash off your face and dance.” Again, don’t resent those who haven’t experienced your level of burden. You’ve been through the battle, but it’s behind you now. It’s time to be healed of those wounds and cleaned of that which still clings to you so that you can find the freedom and joy again that God offers.”

“May your weary hearts be filled with hope, amen.” This is a prayer for those who have experienced the heartbreak of the Fall to walk into the joy of resurrection.

Wake Up Sleeper
Begins with the words of Jesus to rejoice. This is almost the beginning of the New Testament portion of the album as Jesus is actively on the scene.

“Woe to you religious teachers”- seen not only through the words of Jesus, but as a call for the Church now to recognize the spirit in which we are active in the world today. In many cases, we’ve become the Pharisees reborn and this is a call to actively confront that spirit where it may be found. It’s a call to wake up to the reality of your broken religion and wake up from death to life.

The second verse is an invitation to the disenfranchised to be included in the Kingdom life who many in the Church would seek to exclude. The “sinners and freaks” mentioned include even the religious teachers.

“Wake up.” becomes both an invitation and a battle cry for the confrontation of all that which we allow to keep us in bondage to sin and death.

“Open our eyes”- a call for all of us to recognize those things and for the church to come alive.

Vous Etes Mon Coure (You are My Heart)
A simple, plaintive recounting of God’s pursuit of us as a lover and our reply to that love. This is a song of reconciling where new intimacy is born. This is an invitation to receive the love that God has for us despite our imperfections and to step into the fullness of who we were created to be.

This is Not the End
The instruments indicate a building of hope and celebration as the first great declaration of “This is not the end.” is stated.

“This is not the end, this is not the end of this. We will open our eyes wider.” As we embrace the love of God and the promise of eternal life with Him, we embrace the truth that we will see greater things than this. Life with God is an ongoing revelation and we will not reach the end of knowing Him as He is limitless.

“This is not our last, this is not our last breath. We will open our mouths wider.” Physical death will not bring the end of us. We will have new life, new breath through the power of the Resurrection and we will open our mouths wider with the declarations of the goodness and the love of God.

This is a song of hope rooted in the promise of God. It is strong declaration of our value in God’s eyes above all of His created works. A culmination of the restorative work of God in our lives.

Small Group Culture Design

2011-10-05T12:16:00.003-05:00

I've been thinking, studying and praying about developing a coaching structure for our small groups at Embrace for several months now and have zeroed in on something that I think may allow us to take some first steps into a new culture for our small groups while still leaving a lot of flexibility for future adjustments.

First, it helps to understand a more traditional small group coaching structure. In a traditional structure, a coach is responsible for connecting with 3-5 groups on a regular basis for encouragement, direction and prayer. The logistics of how it happens (face to face, email...) and how often (weekly, monthly) can be adapted to fit the structure of the ministry or the unique needs of each individual group.

For a lot of churches, this means recruiting coaches which can prove challenging because your primary pool of people with an understanding of small group ministry are... current group leaders. For a lot of small group pastors, the thought of losing some of their most effective leaders from groups to focus on coaching is a hard pill to swallow. I've heard of structures using coaches as group leaders as well, but one of the biggest hurdles in ministry is over stretching volunteers to the point where they are either ineffective in ministry or they simply exhaust themselves until they need to step away. I would make exceptions based on an individual's strengths and availability, but would be more inclined to have coaches who are not current group leaders whenever possible.

I had been playing with the idea of starting with coaches for new groups and other groups that could simply use a more hands on approach and organizing a peer structure for the rest of the groups at Embrace. In this strategy, we would partner three groups together to encourage and pray for one another and set up something to encourage peer to peer learning as well. I've been calling these partnerships "pods." The initial idea was that all of the groups would be assigned to a pod as more coaches were recruited until we had a coach for every pod.

While I felt like that strategy gave us a good direction to move, I'm now feeling as though a long term hybrid of coaches and pods may actually fit us better as a church and build the kind of connectedness that we'd like to see our small groups have. So, what we will begin to implement is a structure where all of the groups are placed in pods and only the groups that are just getting started or that need a higher level of attention will be matched with coaches.

There are a few reasons why I feel this is preferable to a full out coaching structure. First, I think that the potential of peer training and support may actually make for a healthier dynamic down the road. I think we underestimate how much we can learn from each other and how much we have to offer to others that are engaging in similar ministry. My hope is that it will empower our leaders and make them more thoughtful about the types of things they could be doing in their groups instead of simply implementing the ideas that are handed down to them by a coach. Second, it reduces the number of coaches that are needed and allows more of our best and brightest to stay involved in group leadership where they will still be coaching (while receiving coaching from) their fellow podmates. Finally, this structure gives us a place to start that can easily be adapted if we decide that we do need coaches for all of our groups whether filling in the gaps of the pod strategy or transitioning to a more traditional coaching model.

It's been a lot to process through and I am still working out the details, but I am excited at the potential for this to provide our group leaders the kind of support they need and deserve as they give of themselves in ministry to the people of Embrace. I will be sure to give updates as things progress and adapt.

Goodbyes and Hellos

2011-09-21T17:18:00.002-05:00

Tonight we go to celebrate and hang out with our small group of the last year as they kick off a new season and we embark on a new season of our own. This has been one of the most unique groups that I have ever experienced. It is the only group I have seen where everybody that was invited to the first meeting came and stayed.

Most of us were new to Embrace last year when we first met. I think the longest anyone had been at the church was six months and we were all needing to make a meaningful connection with someone else. It was beautiful to watch trust begin to grow, conversations become more personal and life begin to happen between the meetings. There were no difficult people, there was growth and It was a textbook group that made Amy and I feel like we had won the lottery.

We also realized fairly early that there were several other potential leaders in the group and that it probably wouldn't be long before the group was ready to reproduce. It almost made more sense for us to hand things over to someone else within the group than to send them out instead of us. It was an opportunity for us as well to set an example of what it means to love people so much that you are willing to leave a close group that you love in order to provide the opportunity for someone else to experience the kind of belonging that you have found.

So tonight they start their new journey and we say goodbye to a group that will keep a piece of our heart. My hope is that leaving never becomes easy. Just like a family, relationships may change, but we will always belong to each other.

Seminary

2011-08-26T06:25:00.002-05:00

Yeah, so seminary... Adam had really encouraged me to do a program called Discipleship Sioux Falls last year that winds up being an overview class with each session on a different study area (NT, OT, missions, spiritual formation...). It's almost like the Cliff Notes version of an M Div.

The money was there and it worked with my schedule, so I did that from September-May on the first Monday night of each month. One of their parting gifts to us was to let us either audit a class for free or take one for credit for half price this year. I was planning on auditing Spiritual Formation (a topic of interest that probably best fits what I'm currently doing in ministry and fits the schedule nicely) but in talking with Nate (Director of Enrollment and Financial Aid) I expressed a desire to eventually do more and it wasn't hard to let him talk me into starting something for credit.

For right now, I'll be starting a Certificate in Christian Ministry which will at least get me some core courses that can help me grow in the role I am in now. There's the possibility that I'll be able to roll those credits into a Master's level course of study, so there is a chance that if things continue to progress I could move in that direction. Really the biggest hurdles to doing a Master's now is that we're still paying for the degrees that Amy & I earned in Colorado and our budget is really tight. It's not completely by choice that I'm working three part time jobs right now and taking on more debt does not seem wise at this point in time.

So, we'll ease into things and see how God might lead. I don't necessarily have any vocational interests tied into the decision, so we can afford to take our time. Tomorrow begins a new adventure.

Musicals and Community

2011-03-24T16:00:00.004-05:00

Our family is in the midst of one of the busiest weeks of our year as Amy directs the all school musical at our kids' elementary school (All City). Every kid from K-5th Grade (around 125 kids) is involved and many of the parents have put in countless hours to help make it happen. It is a huge undertaking and another example to me of how much can be accomplished in community. If Amy had to do it all on her own it would kill her, the parents would be more negative about the process and the quality of the production would suffer greatly. Instead, it winds up being one of the most unifying events of the entire school year where we all celebrate the final product as a victory for the entire All City community.

I've been thinking of how this is also true of our spiritual walk. When we do it on our own we have a tendency to give up when it gets hard or to simply slip into a complacency where our walk loses priority as it is slowly squeezed out by whatever other activity, task or external demand screams at us the loudest. In the process it slowly chokes the life out of our relationship with God.

We also will find ourselves lacking the fruit of the Spirit (love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control) in such a way that it is highly unlikely that we will be a blessing to others. In the process, we will become less grace-filled and loving in the way we respond to the world around us and our words and actions will be more critical which will leave us much more open to the criticism of others.

I'm so glad to get to serve in an area that helps people realize how desperately we need each other. My hope is that community becomes infectious and that as we experience life together, God is glorified in each of us.

The Wisdom of Stability

2011-02-26T10:58:00.006-06:00

As someone who has been serving vocationally in the local church, in one capacity or another, for 14 years, one of the dynamics that I've been burdened for has been the church-hopping mentality that seems so common place in American Christianity. The issue is rooted in a number of factors which, I believe, include cultural conditioning, social and vocational climbing and a society in the throes of rampant consumerism.

I was recently given the opportunity to read and review The Wisdom of Stability: Rooting Faith in a Mobile Culture by Jonathan Wilson-Hartgrove. Part autobiography, part sociological study, part theology of community, Wisdom is a very accessible call to deeper commitment to place and relationship

As the title would indicate, Wilson-Hartgrove does an excellent job of establishing how a commitment to place can be of great benefit, especially in a society that always seems to be looking for "the next thing." Our society conditions us to a nomadic lifestyle where opportunities for education and employment early in life establish a pattern of mobility that can make it difficult to feel connected to a particular place.

Wisdom's greatest strength is in Wilson-Hartgrove's call to connect and develop roots in order to connect with the community around you in order to allow depth of relationship to temper us to be more Christlike. Much time is spent reflecting on personal examples and on things that can be learned from monastic tradition to develop an attitude that makes contemplative engagement with God a more present reality. The rooted and timeless topics are such that Wisdom will stand up in content, if not style for years to come

Unfortunately, this timelessness is also probably one of the book's greatest weaknesses as much of the content could have been written fifteen years ago. The world looks remarkably different now and our mobility is no longer just confined to our location, but also in how we interact with each other in light of social media, self help checkouts and pay at the pump gas stations. By the title, one would have expected larger sections devoted to those dynamics and I think the book would have benefitted greatly from having a bit of a forward focus rather than being content with a nostalgic one. The area of social media is an especially glaring omission for a work so concerned with the dynamic of relationship.

The other area where Wisdom falls short is in repetition. A number of ideas continued to be recycled and revisited throughout the text where a broader scope of issues could have been addressed instead. This repetition allowed for more of a storyteller's approach to the topic, but did little more, at times, than pad the book's content. One is left to wonder what could have been accomplished if the themes addressed had only been given half the space in order to dig a little deeper into a broader study of the subject.

Overall, I would recommend Wisdom to people that are wondering why they are feeling disconnected and restless in their current environment as a way of recognizing the potential for long term growth and meaning that can be found by making a conscious decision to engage in the place they are in. However, this book will probably disappoint you If you are looking for a study on the effects of mobility and a hyperactive society on relationship and community.

1 on 1 accountability and sin

2011-01-21T14:28:00.003-06:00

We're getting ready over the next few weeks to make a push at Embrace to give people a chance to engage in 1 on 1 accountability as a way of going deeper in their relationship with God. I've been involved in accountability for about ten years now and have found it to be one of the most important components of my walk.

The reason I believe this to be true is that I am an expert in performing and hiding where sin is concerned. I am quite good at performing one way when in the spotlight of life's stage, but am quite capable of sinful behavior when the curtain is drawn (not to mention what lies hidden in the dark corners of my mind). I suspect that most people, if they are being honest with themselves, know exactly what I'm talking about. The Apostle Paul certainly did as evidenced in the struggle he speaks of in Romans 7. The person I am in public is usually the person that I desire to be, but the sinful nature working within me keeps me from always being that person.

The hiding happens when I try to deny to the world around me that I am struggling and I conceal the carnage that sin unleashes in my spirit. And the problem is, when I get too good at hiding my sin from the world around me, it begins to be hidden from me as well. When that happens, I can no longer continue to keep up the outward performance effectively. Either that or I have to become two people, one public and one private, who become more and more distanced from each other.

Every once in awhile, the kids will play hide and seek. I'm a really good hider and I'm patient enough to outlast the most determined seeker if my hiding place is good enough. When the kids were younger, it was my goal to hide somewhere that made it easier to find me. I knew that hiding too well would frustrate them and make them not enjoy playing with dad. Like most people, I am an expert on hiding the things that I am ashamed of in my life. In a sense, accountability is my attempt at making myself easier to find.

I know that, for many, the biggest reason not to seek out accountability is the fear that, once they are found, they will be rejected. That is always the risk that we run when we enter into deeper relationship. The thing that surprised me the first time I entered into an accountability relationship was that instead of being rejected for my struggles, I learned that my struggles were not unique to me. Sure my sin may manifest itself in a different way than the other guy, but my stuff resembles his stuff and vice versa. 1 Corinthians 10:13 came alive to me in a way it hadn't before:

The temptations in your life are no different from what others experience. And God is faithful. He will not allow the temptation to be more than you can stand. When you are tempted, he will show you a way out so that you can endure.

Being freed from the lie that I was in this alone gave me a new courage to be honest about my struggles and I finally began to find freedom from habitual sin that I had struggled with for years. My hope for these next few weeks is that we will have a great response and that the Lord will lead us through the process of helping people experience freedom and a newfound strength to face their struggles knowing they no longer have to carry the burden alone.

Approaches to starting groups

2010-12-30T13:11:00.002-06:00

As January comes at us full speed at Embrace, I've been working on getting a few new groups up and running and giving more thought to the dynamics involved in starting new groups. When I came on staff in August, our fall kickoff prep was already well underway and I was left having to react more to the things already set in motion instead of being able to strategically plan for the start of a few new groups.

Because of that, we started three new groups with leaders that expressed an interest, but without giving much thought to how to promote these new groups other than just trying to match people up with a group that fit their time preferences and might have some other people that they might hit it off with. We tried to select materials that would be good "getting to know you" materials, but didn't really put the material center stage. One of the groups took off right away and the other two have taken a little time but seem to finally be gaining momentum.

This time around, the main group that we're launching is really very centered on the material. Dave Ramsey's Financial Peace University is kicking off on January 12th and has demanded a very different approach to starting a group. Obviously, it's a topic that people are interested in, put together by an organization that is well known, so the material definitely drives this group. The way we promote the group winds up being significantly different as well with more of a buckshot advertising approach that we hope will attract the attention of folks interested in the study. My unstated goal with this group (until now) is to see a small group form after the study is over made up, primarily, of people from Financial Peace.

This has started me thinking about how different it is to start a group based on the materials than it is to start through the "matchmaking" process. The first may be more motivated by the desire to engage the topic where the latter may be more motivated by a desire to connect with other people on the journey. The first seems set up more for the short term while the second is designed more for the long haul.

I think there are elements to both approaches that have value and one of the things that I'm beginning to realize is that I have a lot to learn about the dynamics of small group ministry since it's still a fairly new area for me as a leader. I'm looking forward to seeing how FPU takes off and seeing how the promotion of a new study, even in an existing group, might generate more interest and get some folks involved that are not currently involved in a group.

The Man (no longer) in Charge

2010-11-16T21:58:00.002-06:00

Tonight I finally made the transition from shop manager to part time service tech at the bike shop. After a couple of miss starts, I finally got to meet my replacement, Mark, tonight. Most of his night was taken up with orientation, but we got a little chance to talk. I'm definitely looking forward to just being one of the guys and hope that things work well with Mark and that I can be a help to him.

I will readily admit to a little bit of melancholy after my shift tonight. I've put in almost five years at the store and did my best to add value to whatever role I was asked to play. I think I did a decent job and left every area I worked better than when I started. My hope is that I'll be able to continue to add value to the shop in a part time capacity and can still be a valued part of the team.

Thankfully, now I am unencumbered to focus my energy more firmly on Embrace and the future of this church that God has called me to serve. I am really enjoying what I am doing and love the dynamic with the staff. I feel, again, that I have something to offer and hope that I bring something to the table that will help Embrace move closer to the vision that God has for her.

Intimacy

2010-11-14T06:14:00.003-06:00

I returned yesterday from a retreat at Blue Cloud Abbey, a monastery in northeast South Dakota, with one of the guys from my small group and a group of men from Cornerstone UMC in Watertown. I really didn't know what to expect as I am not really a "men's retreat" kind of guy. I've always kind of shied away from the stereotypical male bonding, kill an elk, drum in a circle kind of activities that I might envision when I hear about such events. Thankfully, this was not one of those retreats.

Anyone who knows me knows that I am a processor. It can take days or weeks for me to wrestle with the things I've been thinking before I have the ability to coherently state what it is that the Lord has impressed upon me. I'm still processing from this weekend, but feel that there is one area where processing out loud may actually help move the process forward.

One of the questions that we dealt with in groups on Friday night was along the lines of "Is there an area in your life where you need to come alive?" I was surprised at how quickly an answer came to mind. I really feel a sense that I am struggling in the area of intimacy with God. When God first called me into ministry it was a time of recommitment for me as well and, obviously, there was a great sense of the intimate presence of God. As is common, over time, God seemed to withdraw that closeness little by little so that I was no longer living out of the emotions I was feeling, but out of the faith that God was present and working, even when I didn't sense Him.

Fast forward several years and I almost feel like I need to relearn what intimacy with the Lord is like. I'm afraid that it's been so long since I've had a consistent intimacy with God that I almost don't expect Him to fill that need in my heart. I never thought that I was pulling away, but I believe I have done so over a period of time where God didn't seem to show up as I experienced disappointment, frustration and pain. The closeness we once had seemed so completely absent that I began to stop looking for it.

Durning my quiet time at the Abbey, I wrote the following:

Early on, fellowship was free between us. As time went on, You gave me more space and freedom, which I mistook for abandonment - loving abandonment with room for me to grow and learn to love and trust You without feeling the emotions of intimacy.

I have craved that intimacy again, but when I couldn't seem to find it with You, I began to seek it elsewhere, not even knowing I was doing so. I began to rely on that intimacy more and more when I wasn't finding it with You and, eventually, even the intimacy of wife, family and friends, being human and finite, failed to completely fill the hunger.

I began to seek intimacy through false substitutes; through finding a sense of worth in the eyes of others. I was looking for intimacy and validation anywhere I could find it, because I didn't seem to be finding it with You as in the beginning.

Lord, help me come to the root of it. Help me recognize what I'm searching for and to be patient enough and sensitive enough to find it in You. Reignite a vibrant, passionate relationship with You again. Help me be restored to healthy intimacy in all areas of my life and help me recognize when I begin to settle for false substitutes when all I really want is You.

Teach me to trust You again. Teach me that You are still intimately involved and close to me. When no one else seems to want to be close to me, teach me that You are. Take the fragments of my self destruction and make me whole again.

Come, Lord Jesus, come.

Heaven

2010-11-04T09:08:00.003-05:00

Our small group started a new study last night about heaven. It's from the Convergence DVD series hosted by Donald Miller, featuring insights from Randy Alcorn. Very interesting stuff and it sparked some good conversation. We spent a decent amount of time discussing what we thought heaven will be like, especially in light of Alcorn's assertion of it being a physical place in the "new heaven and new earth" as laid out in Revelation 21 and 2 Peter 3. Some of the discussion was light hearted along the lines of "will there be dogs there" and "will there be golf there" and others delved into issues of identity with the physical resurrection and whether we would even recognize each other.

The thing that I've been thinking through since last night is how quickly our thoughts turn to our comfort and our benefits when we discuss heaven. "What will I do? Will I see my loved ones? Will I get to ride a bike?" (that last one's for me). Since the hope of heaven is one of the greatest things that God has given us, I think He actually enjoys it when we dream about those kind of things. I think it's somewhat like when my kids start talking about their expectations for their birthday or Christmas. It's fun to hear about what they hope to receive when the day arrives, knowing some of what is in store for them. Most of the questions issued in the study sort of directed us to these types of topics.

As I've reflected more, I find myself praying that as we continue to explore this topic, that our hearts will become consumed less with our benefit and more with His glory. The glory of God far surpasses anything that we could hope for in this life or the life to come. As much as I enjoy thinking about joyous reunions, long awaited conversations and finally having a body mass index that meets the expectations of my WiiFit program, I believe we will be so overwhelmed and captivated by the glory and love of God that these will seem like trivial desires. I think God will still allow us the enjoyment and benefit of those things, but that we won't want them nearly as much when we begin to drown in the sea of His glory.

I'm definitely looking forward to further conversation and seeing how my thinking is shaped over the course of this study.

Discipleship as a "ruined word"

2010-10-31T07:21:00.004-05:00

I was reading a little this morning and came across a section in Exponential by Dave and Jon Ferguson where they explain why they choose to use the term "apprentice" rather than "disciple." It is their assessment that the word disciple is a "ruined word" that often doesn't mean what it meant to Jesus.

Their assertion is this: "Discipleship in the church today has more to do with consuming and absorbing cognitive content than it has anything to do with missional action. Being a disciple is more about an individual and his/her ability to get a passing grade on the subject matter, and less about being a follower of Jesus who lives in community with others for the sake of Christ's mission."

The more I think about discipleship resources that I've looked at and been through, the more I would have to say I agree with this, for the most part. I think most of the time discipleship is talked about in terms of Bible study and the cognitive formation that happens through interaction with the word of God. I do think some take it the next step and include an emphasis on prayer, fasting and other spiritual disciplines and this is typically where I would probably be guilty of leaving it as well.

Unfortunately, that would still fall short of the missional context of the word and the full meaning of what Jesus was trying to birth in his followers. Was he interested in them being disciplined in their pursuit of personal growth? Absolutely. But more so, he was interested in the fruit that would come out of the relationship developed with the Father. He was interested in how their growth would spill over into those they came in contact with as they walked in obedience in the Spirit.

This poses a few challenges for me personally:
1) What impact will this realization have on any kind of "discipleship" processes that I implement or oversee? It's easy to teach someone spiritual disciplines, it's more challenging (and time consuming) to help them recognize and engage in mission.
2) How will this be communicated in our leadership structure (I'm thinking primarily in small group structure right now) so that people that are engaged as apprentice leaders understand a larger missional focus that includes not only those that they are called to serve as small group leaders, but also those that come alongside them to learn as they are preparing to become leaders themselves?

These are really just initial thoughts and I'm sure more will follow.

Shift of Focus and What it Means to Belong

2010-10-28T15:25:00.007-05:00

A return to vocational ministry has definitely opened a new chapter in the journey for me. Ever since I felt a calling to ministry, I'd been engaged primarily in worship leading while also being involved in the overall scope of the life of the church I was serving to one degree or another.

A shift of focus to that of small groups and community life has been a refreshing one. It's accomplishing a few things for me. First, it's giving me a fresh focus where most of what I'm doing is new again. Yes, I have some experiences to draw on, but it's all still new enough to me that it will be awhile before I develop the ruts that I will inevitably have to break out of.

The other major thing that it's doing for me is that it's slowly rebuilding my confidence in my calling to serve in the local body. I've stated before that my last position, as much as I loved the people and the task of worship leading, was probably not a good fit for either the church or me. My confidence was torn down brick by painful brick as I wrestled with self doubt and the lack of confidence that others had in me to carry out the ministry. While I was disappointed that things didn't work out, I do believe that God used that in preparing me for a change in focus. I probably needed to be shaken loose from my identity as a worship leader in order to be ready to embrace a new calling.

Another thing that I am finding is that I'm wanting to revisit certain resources knowing that my perspective when interacting with them will probably be a bit different given the implications for a new ministry area. One of the books that I am rereading is The Search to Belong by Joseph R. Meyers. I had picked the book up for the church I was serving in Indiana six years or so ago as a resource for our adult ministries person, but had to read it myself as well. I remember it being thought provoking and having really challenging things to say about the narrow approach to relational ministries that most churches employ.

I'm sure I'll be writing a lot about this as I wrestle through the ideas contained in the book, but a few initial questions have already started to mill about in my head. What does it mean to "belong" (in the sense of community)? Do we as a church communicate that there is a set criteria for what it means to belong ("If you do a, b & c, then you're really a part of the church")? How are we at facilitating multiple, meaningful levels of community for people to connect with?

Trying to ask faithful questions to help us be a richer community is one of the things that I enjoy most. It will be interesting to see where this process leads.

Community and Story

2010-10-21T13:08:00.002-05:00

Getting into the groove with a new small group is always interesting. The group that my wife, Amy, is leading and we are hosting at our house has been pretty typical of the "getting to know you" dynamic of a new group. It's that place where we are willing to share on a very superficial level as we begin to assess how much we trust each other. We've been a part of a few new groups over the last 13 years and we know that each group is unique in how quickly that trust develops. Each group is also unique in how that trust develops. For some it's a slow burn with no defining moment, for others a moment of breakthrough happens and the dynamic of the group is changed forever. I think our group had one of those moments last night.

Before I go on, I will tell you by way of disclaimer that I believe strongly in the confidentiality of the group and will not be sharing anybody's story without first getting their permission to do so. That's a part of the trust that has to be established for a group to feel comfortable enough to share the hard stuff. Without it, we can never feel free to risk with each other in ways that allow us to be truly known by the people that God has placed us in community with.

Our group has been using a DVD resource about our stories and the discussion questions were very much built around giving us an opportunity to share our stories with one another. The questions haven't kept things at a surface level either as they've not only dealt with our backgrounds and faith journeys but have specifically asked us to share about our disappointments and struggles. We've been willing to share some of these things, but they have all been the things that we, personally, have already come to terms with. They are things that we still feel in control of and where resolution has already occurred in our minds.

So far, little risk.

Last night one of our group members took the plunge into the unknown and risked. A lot. They had not shared much over the first few weeks, but last night really opened up about their past, their hurt and the struggle of trusting in and walking with God in the midst of everything they had experienced. When they finished, there wasn't a dry eye and Amy, wisely, took some time to pray before moving on.

The beautiful thing was the response of the group wasn't one of pity, but one of genuine love and empathy. I didn't see in this person a weakness because of their brokenness, but a strength of spirit and a dogged determination to hold onto the hope of God no matter how hard it may be on any given day.

I believe that they opened a door for us last night and invited us to risk more and love deeper. My prayer is that we will be up to the challenge and will never be the same because we encountered something of the eternal in someone else's story.

Spiritual Map & My Friend David

2010-10-14T15:55:00.005-05:00

I just started a course through Sioux Falls Seminary a few weeks ago that is designed as a discipleship course for church staff and lay leaders. It wound up being sort of a last minute thing for me, but I knew that if I didn't grab the opportunity that it would be another year before anything like it came my way and that there are no guarantees that I would have the availability at a later date to engage in the process.

One of the things we were encouraged to do in the first session was to begin to work through a spiritual map of our lives in order to recognize and remember what God has done and to see what insights might be gained by a deeper exploration of our journey. A discussion that was launched from that exercise involved identifying someone that was instrumental in our walk and the impact that they had.

After a few days of reflection, there are several people that I could easily point to as having an impact. I've been blessed with a great family and have worked long term and short term with people in ministry to whom I owe an incredible debt of gratitude. But, if I had to pinpoint one person that has probably had the biggest impact on me in shaping my theology and philosophy of ministry I would have to say it is David Mullens.

David was a key part of the worship team at Hanfield UMC when I first started in ministry in 1997. He was a pastor who was serving in a role in the UMC's North Indiana Conference Office at the time and has since gone back into service in a local church. Whether intentional or not, David wound up being a mentor for me as I was an incredibly immature Christian called to lead a congregation in worship.

David's thoughtful intelligence and gentle patience with me as a young leader made for easy conversation on topics both theological and musical that gave me a deeper hunger to study and give further thought to whatever it was we discussed. He was also uniquely gifted at offering a word of correction when I made bad decisions or said something out of line (which I did quite a bit when I started in ministry). Rarely did I ever feel anger from any of those interactions, even when it would have been justified. Instead, it was a gentle rebuke from a friend that always gave opportunity for repentance and reconciliation.

I found over time that David's thoughtful consideration of Scripture, theology and ministry was the bench mark that I used in my own study and practice. There were many conversations that we had where I would address a topic that I'd given thought to just to see if it struck a similar chord in my friend and mentor. Even after he went back to serving as a pastor and I no longer had regular contact with him, I was always encouraged to discover that we were wrestling with some of the same topics and coming to similar conclusions.

Even though our interactions are much fewer now due to distance and life changes, I can still definitely sense David's influence in how I process this journey with God and what it means to live a faithful witness

Refocusing

2010-10-14T13:10:00.003-05:00

I've been giving some thought to the purpose of what I write here and realize that a purposeful refocusing of content is in order. This blog started as a means for me to sort through issues of theology, ministry and spiritual life. Since then it has gone through it's "newsletter" phase as we made a major move and this was a way for me to communicate with our friends and church family in Indiana and has barely survived many near deaths as time and responsibility made finding the time (let alone the purpose) to write nearly non-existent.

I am proposing to myself a return to the blog's roots. As I am engaging in a whole new realm of ministry (for me, anyway), I am finding a greater need to process through things I am experiencing and dreaming about doing in order to fulfill this new calling I have.

So, gone will be the days of the bike posts from this site (unless they have spiritual application). Fear not. They are not disappearing forever. They are simply moving here where they can take on a life of their own. My hope is that the less buckshot approach to writing in this space will help me to better focus my thoughts and bring greater continuity to the content that is found here.

My other hope is that I will find a little more freedom to write with a little more frequency. Time will tell...

Prayer and Burritos

2010-09-10T21:19:00.007-05:00

I had an amazing time in prayer this morning, but this isn't about that. I also had a great time in prayer at the church tonight, but this isn't about that either. This is about what happened in between.

I found myself up early to pray for the church (the aforementioned "amazing time in prayer") and decided that I might fast today as we were praying as a church for this weekend's Kick-Off Event. I decided instead to meditate on God's provision by only eating food if it was offered to me throughout the day.

I headed to the shop (sans breakfast) and settled into work. About an hour later, Darwin showed up with a cappuccino and a Taco John's breakfast burrito for me. I thanked God through every fresh, Tex Mex bite. I didn't tell Darwin what I was doing, but several hours later, when he went to lunch, he came back with two cheese and bean burritos from Taco Bell for me. While Taco Bell is clearly the inferior Mexican fast food choice, I was thankful nonetheless as God had provided yet again.

I shared the story with Amy after praying at the church tonight (the aforementioned "great time in prayer") and she seemed a little less than impressed. She said, "It's not exactly manna from heaven. So, you just ate burritos today?" To which I replied, "Burritos from heaven."

Living by Faith

2010-09-10T19:40:00.002-05:00

There are days when I wonder if I've lost my mind. Thankfully, those days are coming with increasing frequency.

This year I have been called to step out of a part time ministry position that I began to see as an ill fit for my personality, gifting and leadership style. I've also gone from a sales position that had greater income potential for a position in the bike shop that freed my schedule up quite a bit. In the process, I was beginning to get a little comfortable. Life was becoming a little more predictable and manageable.

Then God moved.

I wasn't really looking for it, but God was presenting an opportunity to risk again and I feel alive like I haven't in a long, long time.

I was hanging out at home one night and decided to kill some time by looking at online ministry job resources. After checking a few sites I found a listing for a position that really caught my attention. The listing was for a part-time Small Group and Teams Coordinator position at Embrace, a fairly recent church plant in Sioux Falls.

I have been a worship leader since the day I started in ministry. I may have had other responsibilities, but they always revolved around worship arts. As I read the job description though, I sensed an awakening in my spirit. The burden that I have felt for years to help people engage in close, deep relationship with one another quickly rose to the surface and I recognized in this position, an opportunity to invest in helping that happen. I reached a point where I couldn't see not pursuing it.

As we began the conversation, I was really thinking that I would stay full time in the bike shop and the ministry job would be part time. My desire for security and my conventional wisdom was really working overtime. I mean, who leaves a good, stable, full time job with benefits in a depressed economy to pursue a part time ministry position? I worked and worked and worked it through how I could make it all work. Then the dam burst.

I was really wrestling through the options one night when I talked to my parents. I love and value the input of my Mom and Dad tremendously. Both have wisdom cultivated through years of experience and both are very careful to dispense advice (also a sign of wisdom). As I told them about some of the options that I was considering, my Mom said, "Maybe God is just helping you realize what's really important." I think that was the first salvo in what would eventually break apart my idol of security and free me to pursue living by faith again. I continued the conversation with Amy later that night. She pointed out some of the things that I probably would have to give up in trying to keep it all and I finally succumbed to the reality that I could not do it all. I had to decide what was really important.

I went into my final discussion with Adam, resolved that if the position was offered to me, I would take it and would go part time at the store knowing we would be taking a big pay cut and would have no benefits. I felt such a peace about the idea that I was almost more relieved than excited when Adam asked me to come on board. It felt like the culmination of a season of searching for where I belong.

So, much like when we left Indiana with no jobs and no housing with just a belief that this was the road we were to travel, we find ourselves trusting that God is leading and knowing that we want to follow.

Trying to harness creativity

2010-05-24T20:19:00.002-05:00

If I could have stayed home today I think I would have written several songs. Instead, I started writing one and worked a full day. Again I'm wishing that time and inspiration would stop their flirtatious relationship and get together so that I could actually get something written.

The little bit of time that I did have this morning forced me to focus on getting the framework for one idea in place while others fought for my attention. I feel like I'm definitely entering a season where I can throw a lot of ideas out there in the hope that some of them will develop into something worth crafting. The only issue then becomes finding an outlet to share what comes out.

The song that I'm working on now is thematically linked to yesterday's post which makes two songs in a row that are not specifically worship oriented, which means I can't just play them for Bobbi in the hopes that they might serve for our corporate worship at Mercy. I'm hoping to do some rough draft recording so that I can at least post something online for those that are interested, but that will again require time that is already a little scarce.

Until that happens, I'm hoping to harness some of this creativity and collect as many ideas as I can so that I'll have things to flesh out for some time to come.

Waiting in the in between

2010-05-23T15:21:00.003-05:00

A good deal of the last few months have been spent by trying to come to terms with my decision to step out of leadership in ministry and finding myself feeling somewhat lost and directionless in the process. Ministry in the church has been my highest priority in where I expend my time and energy for the last 13 years as I've served in either full time or part time ministry.

Thankfully, I've had a job change at work to give me something else to concentrate on or the mini spiritual depression that I've been suffering could have turned into something quite a bit more destructive. I am still finding it hard to let go of feelings of rejection and abandonment (from both men and God), but I am slowly waking to the hope that God is preparing me for the next thing.

In my flesh I want this pruning and refining to progress quickly so that I can move onto better days, but I know that there is value in waiting in the in between. Waiting between what was and what is not yet is one of the hardest things for me to do. I find myself dwelling on past successes and past disappointments one moment and then future dreams the next. Both are valuable as the past helps me remember the lessons I've learned and how I've seen God move while the future gives me hope and vision for what's to come.

The danger for me has always been that I want to move from vision to reality immediately instead of taking the time to allow God to cultivate in me the conditions that will produce fruitful living in its due season. In moving too quickly we leave ourselves open to settle for "the good" instead of God's best plans for the future.

So, I find myself waiting again and praying for peace and patience while I wait to see what God has in store.

More changes

2010-05-05T07:34:00.002-05:00

2010 will probably go down as "The Year of Transitions" at our house. Not only have Amy and I both stepped out of staff positions at Mercy (more to follow), but I'm now a month into my transition from sales (where I oversaw bikes and men's cold weather clothing) back to the bike shop where I am now managing. I always liked the shop when I was back there before, but the money was better in sales. Managing the shop sees only a slight drop off in income, but the hours are significantly better for us. It's primarily a Monday through Friday gig with a few Saturdays thrown in when necessary which beats the every other weekend routine that I've been following the last four years.

The shop definitely has its challenges and I am slowly remembering things that I haven't had a chance to put into practice for three years and acquiring new skills as I try to grow as a mechanic. It is strange being the shop manager and knowing that we have several guys that are better mechanics than me, but I'm hoping to close that gap quickly. Besides, as Bryan (my supervisor) has pointed out, I was not hired for the position because of my mechanical prowess.

So, not only am I building and fixing bikes again, but I've taken on several other responsibilities that I didn't have to think about last time I was in the shop such as ordering, scheduling and implementing procedures to help us be more efficient and professional. I also get to have the "fun" conversations with guys who either make mistakes or just need a kick in the butt to get going in the right direction. Ah, the joys of management.

On the church end of things, we are certainly feeling a bit untethered. We had several people ask us when we stepped down whether we would stay at Mercy. It would be easy to leave, but Mercy is still our church family. Sometimes family is hard and we have conflicts, but beneath those conflicts is a deeper love that binds us together and makes it worth working through. We love the people and believe in the vision of the church. Yes, we've had to struggle through some rough patches emotionally as we've wrestled with roles and relationships changing. There are days I'm very at ease being there and other days where I really have to work to hold it together because I'm still mourning.

Our friends have been very supportive and I have played bass a few times and Amy's been asked to sing some in June, so we're getting a few opportunities to experience life as volunteers again. I still love making music with these guys no matter what my role is and consider myself very blessed to get to serve alongside them in a different capacity. I think that's been somewhat of a life line for me the last month or so as I've been processing through things. I don't expect things to ever be the same, but I'm hoping to be reshaped in the process and come out the other side of all of this with a better understanding of God and a more loving, patient heart.

Yesterday's ride

2010-03-18T07:08:00.003-05:00

Prep for the Gut Check can begin to take on new form now that we've had a taste of warmer weather. We'll still be yo-yoing a bit between spring and winter for a few weeks, but I've had two road rides now and I am pleased with where my condition is. I'm down about 13 pounds from where I started around Christmas (and from where I was most of last season) and have spent much more time on the trainer than I have in off-seasons past.

Yesterday's ride was one that I knew had the potential to be fairly long and might hurt a bit. I had blocked out three hours to ride with Bryan Brinkman and when I met up with him I discovered that Mike Dunlap would be going with us as well. That's when I knew that it was not going to be an easy, early season, rolling kind of ride. At least not for me.

Mike and Bryan both are very fit and Mike is in full preparations for this summers Race Across America (RAAM) which he qualified for last year. For those unfamiliar, RAAM is a full race across the country where riders all start at the same time and ride their own pace, on their own schedule until they reach the other coast. They often sleep in 3-4 hour blocks and some of the stories to come out of the race are absolutely epic. You can follow Mike on his blog and see what he's up to.

I didn't make any excuses and just sat third wheel the entire ride. Both guys are significantly stronger riders than I am, but if I want to become stronger, these are the kind of guys I need to be riding with. My only goal was to hang on and not get dropped. It was tough, but I hung in for 48 miles, only bobbing off the back for the last three, before they needed to turn west and I needed to turn east for home. Our average at that point was probably around 19 mph and Mike never looked the least bit uncomfortable while Bryan looked strong as well for an early season ride.

After I turned, I just concentrated on keeping moving. My legs screamed, my back and neck were a bit sore and I hurt so bad that it almost hurt to blink. I limped home muttering under my breath and then dragged my carcass into the house. All told, I had finished with 58 miles, averaging 17.8 mph (I'd obviously dropped off the pace after leaving Mike and Bryan), burning 3232 calories with an average heart rate of 162. I was pleased with all of this except the heart rate. I need to get some more base miles at a lower average heart rate to really prepare for a race like the Gut Check, but I will need rides like this to push me to improve my overall quality as a ride. And to teach me how to suffer.

Up and down day

2010-03-07T19:19:00.002-06:00

I knew this morning would be hard since it was my first time at Mercy since stepping down as the worship leader. As with most hard changes, I'm in a period of mourning right now and felt like I was wearing my emotions on my sleeve as I walked in. Thankfully, the only people that were in the lobby at the time all know me pretty well and were very gracious to let me work through my emotions.

Thankfully, Ryan from work decided to check the church out this morning which meant that I almost immediately got to turn my focus from myself to making sure that he felt welcome. That was just what I needed. By the time the service started, I was dealing pretty well with things and was able to simply engage in worship. I have a feeling the next month or so may be a little awkward as I adjust to not being in leadership, but I love the people of Mercy and still believe strongly in the vision of the church. It's a place that I'm proud to invite friends like Ryan to visit believing that it's a place where people can find belonging regardless of background and regardless of where they are at on their spiritual journey.

After lunch I was able to get out for my first road ride of the season. Temps were in the mid 30's, but the forecast for sunny skies from a few days ago gave way to a cloudy forecast which eventually gave way to a light drizzle which I got to ride in for my last 15 miles or so. I had decided to head out southeast of town on some roads that I ride pretty regularly and gauge my long term route plans on how I was feeling.

Turns out, all of the off season snore fests on the trainer and snowy commutes have accomplished something. I felt pretty decent and decided to press on toward Larchwood and then south to West Lyon School before looping back. My first ride of the year is usually in that 20-25 mile range, but this one stretched to 47.75 miles over 2 hours and 48 minutes. I felt good for most of the ride and only felt the effort for a few miles coming back into town. By the time I dragged myself home, I had burned over 2700 calories and had only eaten one bag of Sport Beans (worth about 100 cal).

With the Gut Check a little over 5 months away, I am really pleased with where I am at with training right now. I'm starting this season carrying less weight than at any point last season and definitely have better form than at this point in any season I can remember. Not sure when the road rides will become a regular part of the week for me, but I'll take what I can get, when I can get it right now.

Ch-ch-ch-ch-changes

2010-03-07T18:55:00.004-06:00

I probably need to check in more often, but I've been keeping things pretty close over the last month and change so as to allow for proper channels of communication to occur. Change has been in the air and it started with me stepping down as the worship leader for Mercy. It was a difficult decision to come to, but my hope is that by stepping out of the way, Mercy will have a better chance of growing into her vision for cautiously charismatic worship.

I really did think I could grow into the role and that only makes it more frustrating to give it up. But after three years of trying to grow into it and constantly hitting a wall it was time. My confidence as a leader continued to erode to the point where I was second guessing myself almost every Sunday and was leading with no authority. I'm chalking it up to not having the right gift mix for this particular ministry in this particular season. I believe I can still be an effective worship leader, but it may be awhile before I tread into those waters again.

In the meantime, I'm hoping to devote more time and energy to songwriting and may push farther into the realm of artist ministry. I started a songwriters' group last summer and am wondering if there might be opportunities to network in other artistic circles as well. More on that to come.

Change number two is that I will be changing roles at work next month. Lee, a good friend and my former shop manager, is stepping down as the manager of the bike shop. After a bit of thought and prayer, I made the decision to pursue the position and will be heading back to manage the bike shop after three years of managing bikes, a few cold weather clothing shops and making my living as a sales person.

The down side is that I no longer will qualify for sales trips (like the Jamaica trip we took last year and the Disney trip we took last month). The up side is that I will be setting the schedule for the shop and the expectation is that I will not be there much on the weekend and will only do one or two nights a week. This means a lot more time at home which we have all been craving. It also means that I should see more of our parents. It's been a bit frustrating to only live 70-80 miles away from all of them and only occasionally see them.

It also means a lot of new challenges as I try to get a handle on the parts of the job that I wasn't engaged in when I was in the shop previously and having to reacquire some skills that I haven't had to use in about three years. We've got a pretty good crew and there's not a lot of drama or difficult personalities to deal with, so I'm hoping for a smooth transition as I make the change April 1.

Snow riding

2010-02-07T16:14:00.002-06:00

My only goal for this weekend was to spend two hours on the bike. I initially had intended to suffer through another long session in front of the TV as I burned calories but went absolutely nowhere, but when I woke up yesterday, the temps were around 30, snow was lightly falling and I decided it was a perfect day to get out the Rig and tool around the bike path for a roughly 21 mile snow excursion. My Gary Fisher Rig is a single speed mountain bike that I outfit with studded tires for winter riding (primarily commuting).

Almost immediately I realized it was going to take me the better part of two hours to do what I would normally do in just about half the time. The bike path in Sioux Falls had been plowed at one time in the last month, but several inches of snow were still on the path covering a lot of ice and even more footprints from runners that have been on the path over the last few weeks. It was slow going and it was quickly evident that legs and calories were going to burn as I diligently looked for the smartest path and exercised great patience at every corner for fear of having to pick myself up out of the snow.

It was very slow going with a lot of sections where I could barely muster eight miles per hour as I worked my way through the crusted footprints of other path users. There were a few sections where I could manage 13-14 mph over sections that had been wind blown, but they were very few. By the time I dragged myself home, I was absolutely exhausted, but knew that it was just the ride I needed.

I'm quickly approaching the six month to go point in my preparations for the Gutcheck 212 race this summer. I will suffer much more on that ride than I did yesterday, but it was a good ride for me to do at this point in the year. Road miles (of any sort) equal about twice the value of any trainer session or spin class (in my opinion) when it comes to practical application on the road. Not only that, but it's a heck of a lot more fun.

Discouraged but not hopeless

2010-01-23T19:08:00.002-06:00

How do I find myself at this place again? After what had seemed a better season of ministry I find myself faced again with the realization that I may not be the best fit for Mercy in my current role. Things have been building slowly this time, but I feel like we're close to having to make a decision on whether to stay and try to allow God to grow me into this role or step away for the sake of the growth of the church.

I do not feel unloved. Far from. Shel and leadership have gone to great lengths to express their love for me on a personal level and have given me a lot of time to grow. Unfortunately, it seems more likely that the more charismatic worship theology that Mercy strives for simply isn't something that God is anointing in me right now, no matter how much I may want Him to. I've been challenged in ways I did not expect and may simply have to accept that this was for a season and try to grow through the experience. Shel hinted at the concept of "where God leads, He provides" in conversation this week. If so, did God lead us to this point or did we simply seize an opportunity without a call?

I am in no hurry to make a decision, but am praying for wisdom as we look at what's ahead.

In the meantime, we have decided (Shel and I) to have other leaders rotate in giving me an extra Sunday a month off. The hope is that this will expose the church (and myself) to different leadership styles while also giving me some opportunity to rest as well. Bi-vocational ministry is challenging enough and hasn't gotten any easier three years into it, so I am hoping to take advantage of my off weeks to devote more time to prayer, personal worship renewal and writing.

I was challenged by a friend today to not fake it in terms of charismatic worship expressions if I'm not really there and to allow God to take me there. That was a word I needed to hear and I continue to pray that God would take me there for the good of the Body.

The Offseason has Finally Arrived

2009-12-12T20:31:00.002-06:00

I put in my first session on the bike trainer today. This to me is the real start of winter. It's the point where I have to quit living in denial and set about the hard work of convincing myself that this will all be worth it in the spring when the snow melts, the roads become rideable and all is right with the world again.

This year discipline will be the name of the game. I've always had the luxury of riding indoors just to scratch the itch to ride and keep from completely losing my fitness. I recently agreed to do my first race ever which will be an ultra marathon bike race from the Wyoming border to the Minnesota border on Highway 212 in northern South Dakota. I'll be part of a two man team with Bryan Brinkman, my supervising manager at Scheels, Bryan riding the 230 mile leg of the race while I will be responsible for 190 miles. It is a continuous race, so we're looking at a lot of saddle time and a lot of suffering.

The race is slated for August 13 which means that I have eight months and one day to get myself whipped into shape. It's going to require a lot of time on the trainer which should set me up for a lot of time in the saddle in the spring. I decided to start the work in earnest today with a two hour session.

Two hours is a long time on the trainer for me. I would rather hit it hard for 45 minutes and get off the thing, but 45 minute sessions aren't going to help me build up for the challenge ahead. The trainer requires so much more discipline than going out for a ride. Because you don't have the natural motion that you would riding on the road, your body hurts more, sooner and it's harder to find relief. My butt hurts more after an hour on the trainer than it does after riding 100 miles.

I knew that I was going to hate doing today's session before it even started, but was determined to go two hours. I was really ready to call it quits after 90 minutes, but I figured that if I'm really going to be ready for the Gut Check then I'm going to have to get used to suffering and starting my training by shortening a session because I was uncomfortable probably wouldn't help build the discipline that I'll need to finish a 190 mile ride.

I managed to finish, but was looking at my watch about every 30-40 seconds hoping that the time was passing more quickly than it really was. I was definitely ready to be done. The only problem is, I should probably do it again tomorrow.

What do we call ourselves?

2009-10-23T09:06:00.004-05:00

I love the church that I'm serving. I will admit that Mercy Church has been a hard place to describe to people though as I've had conversations with friends (both from within and outside of the church). We, as people, tend to like to use labels to help us better identify and categorize the world around us, but we, as a church, don't tend to fit neatly into the boxes provided by current church labels.

Mercy is the combination of a church plant from the Christian and Missionary Alliance and a traditional Mennonite congregation with 50 years of history in Sioux Falls, SD. We merged the two congregations nearly two years ago and are actually fully affiliated with two different denominations. Our hope is that this shows a desire to break down walls between churches, denominations and generations in order to better represent the unity of believers in the Kingdom of God.

The diversity of where we come from is pretty broad. Not only Alliance and Mennonite, but we have leadership with background ranging from Assemblies of God to United Methodist and members with background in Lutheran, Reformed, Catholic and Faith Church traditions (among others) all gathering together to worship and fellowship together. We also strive to be a place where people that are simply exploring Christ would be able to belong even before they believe. Because of this diversity, it's difficult to know what labels to attach and if they will be helpful or harmful.

I think this page does a good job of summing up where we're coming from in terms of doctrine and we're very much about connecting in meaningful relationship with one another through service and fellowship. I think it's a little harder for us to define ourselves stylistically.

The first service is definitely traditional and, therefore, a bit easier to identify. Believe it or not, this service is growing in both numbers and generational diversity. The second service has tried on a few labels, but still hasn't found anything that fits comfortably. Contemporary works for some people, but conjures up images of poorly done, 1980's choruses for others (myself included). Emerging works for some, but has taken a beating in some Christian circles because of a few leaders within the emerging movement whose teaching skews toward a more liberal theology. Fortunately, those few teachers do not represent the whole of the emerging movement. Unfortunately, so much emphasis has been placed on them that the term "emerging" has become synonymous with heresy in some circles.

Amy had a conversation with a student this week and let the term "emerging church" slip and his reaction was immediately one of distrust. We had the conversation a year ago at Mercy Church about the use of the term as well and several of our own members had a strong reaction against it.

There's a tendency with any kind of movement for a strong initial push followed by a period of course correction and mini-reform that help keep it from running too far out of bounds. I think the emerging church is in that correction period, but I fear that it may not be given much of a chance by some people (who would resonate with a lot of its core values) because of the way that it has been negatively portrayed in some circles.

So if we're not "contemporary" and we're not "emerging", what are we? We're using the term "renewal service" for the time being. We are contemporary in the fact that we use a band of instruments and musical styles that are more contemporary to our culture. We are emerging in the fact that we use ancient/future approaches to worship that encourage the use of historic creeds and lectionary materials and are moving toward the use of multiple response mechanisms in our worship (song, prayer, stations, communion) in order to help people connect to God in a way that is most natural to their personality and wiring.

Whatever we are, I'm loving the way that God is shaping and challenging us to live authentic faith in a diverse community. I'm also loving watching real people undergo real life change as we encounter Jesus together.

Anticipation

2009-08-06T10:54:00.000-05:00

We arrived for vacation in Wisconsin Dells yesterday after about six hours in the car. It's been a vacation a long time in the making. Our last full family vacation was two years ago when we went to Minneapolis for a few days.

We had debated about where to go this summer for awhile and Wisconsin Dells was the destination of choice. I had driven through last summer on my way to Trek's dealer show in Madison and had thought this would be a good place to bring the family.

Waiting until we had less than two weeks before school starts only heightened the anticipation and by the time we left yesterday, we were all ready.

The thing that will probably stay in my mind from yesterday was Maia's reaction to our accommodations. We opted to stay at a place that was a bit more economical for the first few days before heading to one of the resorts with an indoor/outdoor waterpark for the last two nights. The hope was that the kids would be content with their surroundings so that they could better enjoy the last few days that much more.

The place we are curently staying is the Blackhawk Motel. It's an older style, family oriented place that's pretty low fuss, but nice enough. The room is your typical, enter from outside, two bed unit.

I suspect that anticipating this trip for weeks, partnered with a long car ride, inspired Maia's response. When we opened the door and went inside, she said, "It's beautiful!"

I was caught off guard at her assessment of this very basic, non-descript room, but I began to wonder what her reaction will be when we get to the resort in a few days.
It also got me thinking about how often we respond this way with God. He sends us on a journey and in our anticipation we fall in love with a point on the journey when God is leading to something even better.

There are a couple of potential pitfalls when this happens. Sometimes we're tempted to embrace the first place to the point where we can't seem to leave it. Sometimes we're so focused on the second place that we can't enjoy the first place properly.

Life is a journey and I hope that I'm able to enjoy each part of it; the people, the experiences and the lessons learned without getting stuck in a moment or without getting frustrated that I'm not farther along.

Lord, teach me to be content in all things, to embrace what you offer everyday in childlike wonder and to continue to pursue you in the journey.

Songwriters' Group Gathering

2009-06-29T07:27:00.001-05:00

Last night we had the first of what I hope will be many Faith-Arts Songwriters' Gatherings. I really didn't know what to expect out of the night but hoped that we'd be able to break the ice, hear a few songs and get to know each other just a little bit. We had a decent sized group (with room for more) at our house where we had a little food and conversation before gathering in the piano room to play songs for each other.

Amy, Aubrey, Caleb, Hal, Micah and myself were on hand and shared songs. I shared "Wake Me Up" which we've been using in worship at Mercy Church for almost six months, so I don't know that I can really classify it as a new song, but seeing as how I don't have anything else that is more than a melodic or thematic idea, it would have to do. Each songwriter took their turn sharing and receiving feedback and I was blessed to watch what I've been dreaming about starting to happen as community began to help shape some of the songs that were shared.

It was a good start and I'm excited to see where it goes from here. I'm also excited to see who else might come along on the journey.

Tour deKota 2009-Thursday

2009-06-13T16:48:00.005-05:00

If Monday's ride held all of the things that you really don't want to experience out of a bike tour (headwind, cold, lonely miles with nobody in sight), then Thursday's ride was the perfect bike tour day. We drove to Chamberlain on Wednesday night (Maia's birthday), checked into the AmericInn and settled in. I was very focused on making sure that I had everything ready for the next morning, but did relax a bit as we hit the pool before bed.

I had been checking the weather forecasts for a few days prior and it looked like it would be good riding weather, though it was still going to start fairly cool at around 50 degrees. In my meticulous Wednesday night prep, I realized that I had forgotten my arm warmers at home where they occupied a drying rack in the laundry room where they had hung since Monday night. I did have a vest to layer with, but worried a bit about being too cold first thing in the morning.

I woke up at about 6:00, headed down to breakfast and loaded up on rolls, cereal and fruit. I really wanted a waffle (they smelled fantastic), but knew that the syrup that I would have applied would have become a coating in my gut that would have had me loathing my existence after an hour or so. I headed back to the room, got suited up and headed out.

The route for the day was from Chamberlain to Pierre (an advertised 83 miles) with an optional century loop north of town to Oahe Dam which was to bring the total ride to 104 miles (again, advertised). I had decided to ride from the hotel so that the fam could sleep in a bit which would tag on a little more than three miles to my total ride for the day, but it would also give me a chance to warm up a bit before the first big climb of the day. As I arrived at the campground which was the official start point for the day, I saw Matt (one of the guys I met on Monday) unloading his bike from his dad's van. Our timing couldn't have been better and I knew that I'd have a riding companion for at least the first part of the day.

Chamberlain is a community located in the Missouri River Valley which means that in order to leave Chamberlain, you must climb out of the valley. The first climb starts within a half mile of the campground and I remembered from the 2005 ride that it was a fairly long hill with a decent grade and that it makes for a rude wake up call. The extra miles that I had put in actually did serve as a good warm up and Matt and I were able to chat a bit over the first hills as we got to know each other a bit.

Matt is originally from Sioux Falls, spent some time in the military and has been in Arizona for the better part of seven years where he drives a trailer at night and goes to school during the day for English/Spanish translation. He was riding a Pinarello frame that he built up with an assortment of Campy parts and rides a good deal. He definitely had the advantage over me as he's already got over 3000 miles in his legs since December where I've had to scratch and claw to get over 1000. He is a very strong rider and I could tell fairly early that I was not quite in his class.

We rode along and talked a bit as we hit some pretty horrible roads by Fort Thompson and continued to find rolling hills with the occasional big dig to contend with. The weather had warmed slightly, the sun had come out for the first time all week and the winds had shifted from north/northeast to straight out of the east. As our course took us straight north and then almost straight west, this meant that for the majority of the day we would benefit from a slight tailwind. We couldn't have asked for better conditions to ride a century.

I knew I was digging fairly deep to keep a pace that wouldn't hold Matt back and finally at about 35 miles I was starting to bonk. Matt encouraged me along and did the bulk of the pacemaking at that point, but we finally got passed by a couple of riders and I waved Matt on to let him know it was okay if he wanted to take off. He said, "Let's go" and accelerated. I tried to go with, but just didn't have any power left at that point. I started to settle into a pace a little more to my liking and actually caught up to a guy named Kevin who I had done a bike fitting with the week before. Having a chance to talk to someone else who was riding a little more manageable pace was just what I needed. I rode with Kevin and a friend of his for a few miles before seeing that the two guys who had passed earlier were doubling back and Matt was holding up waiting for me to catch back on.

Once I rejoined Matt, I had recovered enough to go with him on the next hill where we lost Kevin and settled back into our earlier pace. Matt was letting me sit in his slipstream for long pulls and then letting me dictate the pace up the hills. By the time we made the turn to head west, I had recovered enough to do my part of the work and we kept a tempo of about 22 mph pretty steadily.

We hit the "Pit Stop" official rest area about 60 miles into the day. It was here that I was supposed to meet Amy, but because we'd been keeping a good tempo, she was still about 40 minutes away. We decided to get some water and push on. We also had caught up with Gayle who Matt had told to get an early start so that we could ride with him for a bit later on. We rode with Gayle for the better part of five miles and had a bit more conversation before Gayle told us to not wait for him.

Matt and I resettled into our previous tempo and I was pretty sure there were few, if any, riders in front of us. I was to the point where I shut my brain off and just rode. I didn't feel like I had any energy left, but was still taking pulls at 22 mph. I wouldn't let myself think about how tired I was, how much I hurt or how far we'd already come. I just wanted to keep the tempo up. Matt was a great encouragement telling me, "Good pull" whenever he could sense I had given about as much as I had. We were only a few miles from Pierre when Amy and the kids finally caught up with us. I told her to just head into Pierre and we'd meet up there.

We topped off the bottles, grabbed a little food and headed out for the century loop north of Pierre where we would earn the rest of our miles. Neither of us felt all that good about climbing back out of town and the first five or six miles out of town were rolling hills. I was at my limit and just polishing off an energy bar when two other riders caught up to us. I again waived Matt ahead and did what I could to maintain a tempo. They were going about four miles an hour faster than what I could conceivably hold at that point, so I just rode my own tempo and tried to keep my morale up.

By the time I was across the dam, I could see that Matt and one of the riders had shed the other rider and that I was maintaining the same tempo as the dropped man. I gauged my efforts off of him and just kept pushing. I actually made up a bit of ground on him by the time I rolled into town, but Matt and the other rider were completely out of sight. They probably finished a good three minutes ahead of me (about one mile), but I had still managed to ride a strong day and was the fourth guy in off of the century loop.

I grabbed a few pictures and exchanged information with Matt before seeking out the showers. The shower guy was farther along in his prep than he had been on Monday, but he informed me that the city had the wrong hardware for him to be able to hook up, so he was waiting for them to deliver a part to him before showers could commence. I opted to head over to the city pool to use their showers so that the fam didn't have to wait around another hour or two like they had on Monday.

The pool was an interesting set up. Built over 70 years ago, the shower area was built into the hallway that leads from the locker room to the pool area. I was informed that if I didn't have a suit, I could just shut the door and shower. Once I inspected the set up, I decided to shower in my bike shorts because had anyone opened the door with me showering, I would have given them a show that no amount of therapy would ever be able to undo. At least the water was warm.

By this point my appetite had come around and we decided to find somewhere in town to grab a steak. We were planning on hitting a place that was on a flyer we had received at the campground, but when we arrived, it was obviously going to have nothing heartier than a wrap, so we went next door to the Longbranch Lounge instead. It was a dive bar, but was lacking in clientele due to the early afternoon time and the menu fit. They actually did have a kids menu and our waitress was one of the best that I have ever had anytime, anywhere. I ordered the only steak on the menu, an eight ounce sirloin with fried potatoes and texas toast. I savored each bite, wishing it was 16 ounces, but enjoying it while it lasted.

With that finished, we were back on the road. We had decided to try to get in touch with Casey and Dave (Amy's dad) to see about getting together on our way back through Mitchell since Maia's birthday plans were too early in the day for either to be able to come over to hang out. We arrived at the Pizza Ranch in Mitchell about three hours after leaving Pierre and I was already hungry again, so I attacked the buffet. We hung out at the Pizza Ranch for a couple of hours and got caught up on some conversation and had more gift time for Maia. By 7:30 I was barely hanging on, but by the time we hit the road, I was feeling up to driving to give Amy a break. She'd been behind the wheel off and on since about 10:00 that morning trying to keep the kids entertained and me supported on a long ride. I never need an excuse to love her, but she really goes above and beyond for me when she helps me out on a bike tour.

I was so thankful to have my first good day on the Tour deKota in two years. I got to work on Friday morning and was able to actually gloat a bit about what a great day I'd had. I also stopped in at the store to pick something up on Saturday and found out that Gayle had been in looking for me. With any luck, I'll get to see a few more of the folks that I connected with this year through other rides and by being "the bike guy" at Scheels.

Tour deKota 2009- Monday

2009-06-09T09:04:00.005-05:00

I've been fortunate to get to take part in the Tour deKota (a bike tour put on by the Argus Leader newspaper in Sioux Falls, SD) every year since the ride began in 2005. That year I did the entire event as we were in the process of moving back to the area from Indiana and we were able to treat it like a vacation even though it was merely the beginning of three months of self inflicted unemployment. Every year since then, I've chosen two days to ride based on proximity, available vacation time and personal challenge.

Last year, I chose to ride the Sunday ride even though it meant not leaving town until 1:30 in the afternoon, well after all support and riders had already called it a day. I decided I would not do the Sunday ride again because of church duties, so I decided on Monday and Thursday for this year's edition of the TdK. Of course, the wind on Sunday was in the perfect direction and the ride left from just south of town and arrived in Yankton where Jim and Marilyn's home and hot tub would have awaited my arrival. Instead, I had a full morning at church (running sound and video for first service and leading worship for second) followed by an afternoon of work at the store. Amy and the kids picked me up at about 6:30 which meant we would arrive at J&M's at about 8pm. Ramona Bloodgood (Amy's brother's mother-in-law) was going to stay at the house as well and arrived shortly before we did.

We hung out, had good conversation, watched the Lakers escape the Magic in OT in the NBA Finals and were watching the news when the power went out. It had rained most of the day and a storm had been building with thunder and lightning as the night had progressed. J&M live on the Missouri River (Lewis and Clark Lake to be more specific) looking from the South Dakota side to the Nebraska side. The house is nuzzled up against the hill side and surrounded by trees. When the power fails at their house, it is quite a bit darker than what we are used to. The kids immediately came upstairs and we spent a bit of time digging around for a flashlight or a means to light a candle. Amy finally discovered a flashlight and we told the kids we'd light a candle for their room for the rest of the night just in case the power went out again. Of course, by the time the power came back on, we'd missed the weather on the news (sort of important for the next day's ride) and decided to just hit the hot tub for awhile before settling in.

By Monday morning, things had dried off (which was good) and the wind had shifted to the NW (which was not). The ride was going to be fairly short by bike tour standards at an advertised 59 miles from the campsite. We were starting a few miles into it, so I estimated that we'd wind up riding somewhere between 50-55 miles from Yankton to Wagner. The general direction all day was to be north and west which meant that we would have a headwind for the duration of the day, so we left at about 7:00 to slug it out with the wind for a few hours.

This bike tour was a bit atypical from what I've experienced in the past. I'm used to riders getting up at first light and hitting the roads before temps and winds have a chance to pick up. As temps have been low, the urgency to get out of camp and on the road seems to have been lacking. I honestly expected at least 100 riders up the road when I started, but had probably only passed 20 by the time I reached Tabor (about 8 miles into the ride). From that point, I didn't see another rider until about mile 42 when I encountered Gayle, a tour veteran, stopped by the roadside in order to remove his jacket. I stopped and we talked for a few minutes comparing equipment and discussing the contrast from the previous day's tailwind to the ever present headwind we were currently experiencing.

We got started again and Gayle told me not to wait for him as we made the final turn before the final 9 miles to Wagner. I rolled into town and looked intently for signs to point me to the camping area where I would meet Amy when she and the kids got to town. A few years ago, I wasted about a half hour in Madison because signs had not yet been posted and I wandered around trying to figure out where I was supposed to be. Thankfully, Wagner's signs directed me to the high school. The only issue was that it didn't look like I was supposed to be there. There was no indication that this was the arrival point, so I called Amy to consult with the official guidebook. She confirmed that, yes, that was where we were headed and I decided to hunker down and wait for the parade of vehicles and riders to begin to arrive.

About the time I called Amy, the Shuttleguy arrived. Shuttleguy is like a personal valet for bike tourists who hauls your gear and sets up your tent for you. It was a sign of tour civilization, but he seemed just as confused as to where to set up shop as I was. A few minutes later, the shower truck arrived, parked on a side street and waited for word as to where he was to set up. Gayle arrived about 15 minutes after I did at the same time as the first wave of official tour vehicles and the sag wagon with its first three abandons of the day and official tour staff.

Finally, the baggage truck arrived and things started to take shape. The Shuttleguy set up shop, the shower truck finally hooked up and rows of riders' bags were unloaded on the sidewalk outside the school. Amy and the kids had arrived about this time as well and they patiently waited in the car for me to hit the showers so that we could get back on the road. Almost an hour later, I was still standing outside the truck waiting for a shower when a reporter from the local paper stopped by for a chat and a few pics. She was wanting to get info for her story and I was one of the few people around for her to talk to, so we talked for a few minutes while the shower guy started to set up ladders on some of the shower stalls.

All I really wanted to do was grab a shower and hit the road, so when the reporter had extracted what information she could from me, I asked the shower guy how long it would be before he was open for business. He told me it would be about a half hour before the water was warm so I asked him if I could bother him for a cold shower. "It'll be really cold," he told me. I told him I really didn't mind and just needed to get on the road. He grabbed a token for me and told me again about the frigid conditions I'd experience. I told him I'd hit him up for a warm shower after Thursday's ride and proceeded into my metal encased, shower stall.

Each stall has a small shelf, two pronged hook and shower curtain and very little opportunity for anything that is left on the floor to stay dry. The stall also has a coin slot where the token is inserted to set the timer for your water allotment. You are given five minutes per token, so a certain amount of efficiency is required. Knowing that the water would be really cold, I was all about efficiency. I started the shower, lathered up, rinsed, shut the water off and still had three and a half minutes left on the shower timer. Yeah, it was cold, but I was clean and ready for the trip home.

We hit a local restaurant for lunch and had a quick conversation with Gayle and another rider named Matt who were just a few tables away. I'm hoping I can hook up with them on tomorrow's ride and make it a bit more of a social event as we'll be covering 100 miles of river valley with a fair amount of climbing. Companionship will definitely make the miles go a bit quicker and will hopefully make for a more memorable day on the bike than Monday.

Where I am

2009-06-02T08:12:00.004-05:00

I've been absent from this blog for awhile. It's amazing how many things fight for our time, energy and creativity. I've been pouring a bit of energy into other projects that are long overdue and I'm hoping that the summer will be a time of fruitful first steps as I start to dig in a little deeper into some of the things that I felt a pull toward when we first moved to Sioux Falls nearly four years ago. The last four years has mostly been a study in faithful following and day to day living where the prayers and dreams of a satellite soul have been kept mostly orbiting and observing instead of pursuing passions.

I'm hoping to accomplish a few things this summer. I'm starting a songwriters' network where writers are connected with one another for encouragement, challenge and resourcing in the hope that the quality of the art that is created will be of more artistic value and more accessible to those we try to communicate with. I'm still not sure what form this kind of group will take, but we're starting very small and hope that we can hit a stride before opening it up on a larger scale.

I am also working to finish another step in my licensing process with the Christian and Missionary Alliance denomination. I'm seeking licensing in music as well as possibly pastoring and church planting. Where this will lead is still very open, but I'm hoping that beginning the discussion will begin to help us discern where we should be in ministry. We love Mercy Church and what it stands for, but we also know that one of the passions of Mercy is to plant more churches and are using this as an opportunity to explore whether that might be a part of the vision that we can help carry forward.

In the meantime, there's still full time work managing the bike department at Scheels and the task of trying to balance all of this with family life and spiritual growth. Hoping for a fruitful season ahead.

Gratitude and Rest

2009-04-01T09:44:00.003-05:00

I'm being jolted back into the reality of a hyper-scheduled life after a week where I was fairly unhitched from time. Amy and I just got back from an all expense paid trip to Jamaica last week that I had earned through the store. It was the first vacation that just the two of us had taken (other than worship conferences and an overnight trip or two) since 1998 and we'd been looking forward to it for months. We left two weeks ago and returned one week ago. The week in between was amazing.

Two things stick out to me by way of spiritual application. The first is an issue of gratitude. We ran into some travel issues along with two other couples from the store meaning we arrived a day later than we were supposed to and our luggage arrived a day after we did. Amy and I took things pretty well in stride, thankful to be going anywhere and enjoying each other's company. Our companions... not so much. Every time a new challenge would present itself, their response was immediately angry. Once anger and intimidation failed to produce the desired result they would swing to bitter resignation. A week later, on the return flight home (after the last layover nonetheless) they were still regaling fellow travelers with the tale of how they had been screwed over, how angry they were and how they were going to get restitution from those responsible.

Amy and I felt very little of that at any point in the journey. The difference was that they felt robbed of something that was rightly theirs and we felt that the trip was a blessing to be thankful for even if things didn't go exactly as we would have hoped. Needless to say, we arrived already in vacation mode; relaxed and at peace. They made it to the resort more stressed than when they had left Sioux Falls and had, in effect, wasted a day of their vacation by choice.

The other thing that I'm still chewing on by means of application goes back to issues of time and how I spend it. I never thought I would allow myself to become as hyper-scheduled as I have become. If you look at my weekly schedule, you will see very little downtime. Anybody that really knew me prior to arriving in Sioux Falls knows that I am very protective of my personal time. I am, at heart, an introvert who needs time and space for contemplation in order to feel truly centered. Working in full-time retail and part-time ministry means I have to function as an extrovert most of the time and leaves very little by way of free time to recharge. Thankfully, the jobs that I have are things that I am passionate about and I truly do believe the Lord has blessed me in this way so that I can still provide for my family, engage in ministry and not completely burn out.

With that in mind, I find myself dwelling on how time passed in Jamaica for me. I had a loose sense of comprehending what time it was. We really didn't schedule that much to do in terms of excursions or meals which meant we were free to meander through most of our days there doing what we wanted to do when we felt like doing it. I knew it was roughly 10 a.m. when the bar at the water park opened. I knew it was around noon when people started sitting down for meals. I knew it was sometime around 8 p.m. when the sun went down. Time just passed and I didn't really concern myself with it.

On arriving home, I found myself trying to hold onto that relaxed sense of time for the first few days until I began to realize that the demands of the schedule wouldn't allow it. Today is my first "day off" since getting back and I had a 7:30 coffee appointment, had to be at the house at 9:30 to let the piano tuner in (who is currently doing a fine job bringing consonance back into our home), will be at a worship planning meeting at 11:45, pick Xander up from school at 1:05, teach at USF from 3:30-4:30 and will be co-leading a small group at church tonight. Today will not permit the type of relaxation that I found lounging by poolside or reading at the beach.

The bigger thing that I'm contemplating this morning is the meaning of sabbath. When I refer to sabbath, I'm not referring to "The Sabbath" as it is presented in the Old Testament. I refer to the practice of resting and meditating on God as an act of worship and discipleship. There are times that I do this well and times that I fail miserably because I allow my schedule to dictate when I can experience sabbath rest instead of conforming my schedule to allow it to happen.

I'm hoping I can begin to address that in ways that allow me to unhitch from time-induced daily pressures and experience the presence of God in ways I've forgotten and ways I have yet to discover.

Wake Me Up

2009-02-22T22:54:00.001-06:00

Once upon a time ago, I started a blog on the relationship between faith and art. I have posted a long overdue post that I hope will be the first of many as I begin to press on this passion that God has given me. Check it out, let me know what you think and look for more both here and on the faith-art blog in the months to come.

Playing again

2009-02-19T22:06:00.002-06:00

Business has again settled over our home as our level of activity kicks into overdrive. Amy and I started teaching again at USF and I have four trumpet students, two who I met for the first time yesterday. I enjoy teaching trumpet and hope that my students enjoy the instrument more because of our time together. I am beginning to form the early plans for a possible recital (sometime in the next 18 months) of baroque/classic trumpet works for piccolo trumpet. I'm aiming for a long term goal partly to give me time to find resources that I really enjoy so that I can put together a program that provides some sense of flow and variety and partly to give myself plenty of time to get back into shape.

This style of playing is probably my strongest as a player. I've always considered myself a jack of all trades, master of none when it comes to the trumpet. I was always a good player, but rarely the best in any given area. There were always better players in any particular arena of playing, always better improvisors, better technicians, better soloists... But my strength as a player was my ability to adapt and play capably in any style of music.

It really wasn't until I started digging into baroque trumpet playing that I started feeling like I was a fully competent soloist. It's a style of playing that I feel very much at home in and feel I can hold myself to a standard of excellence that I simply don't expect of myself in other areas.

We'll see what develops out of this, but at least I've gone on the record saying that I want to do it, so I now have less excuse to dismiss it altogether.

A bit more perspective

2009-01-10T11:18:00.002-06:00

Last week's doom and gloom mood has given way to mostly sunny skies. Thursday's rehearsal last week was tough. I was really struggling to begin with, but then to have to talk to the team about it and keep on track to prepare for Sunday's service was hard. When I got home I told Amy that the church was either going to get a pretty raw, emotional worship leader on Sunday or one that was just going through the motions. Thankfully, it was the emotional leader that emerged and we had connected worship for the first time in a few months.

By the time I left for work on Friday, I was a pretty depressed, unsocial mess and had a really hard time being around people. Thankfully, late in the day, the job demanded that I interact with some people and as I began to talk with customers, I started to come out of my funk. We're still processing through a lot of changes with things at Mercy as Amy steps out of 2nd service, but our outlook is definitely more positive than it was a week ago.

One of the discussions that I had with someone this week brought out the idea that maybe we're trying to do too many things in worship in its current format and are not leaving enough space for more charismatic worship and moves of the Holy Spirit to happen. Ironically enough, the basic elements are the same as they were when we started at the church and we've only adjusted the order of the service a bit. We'll probably try playing with things some while Shel is on sabbatical and see if we hit a different stride that might help carry things forward.

One element that I think needs to change is the ability for us to "team lead" worship. My approach to leading a worship team has long been one of encouraging and empowering other team members to grow in and contribute their gifts in order for the team to be more effective. Sounds kind of like what Paul is talking about he talks about the church being the Body of Christ doesn't it?

One of the things that has been expressed to me is that I need to increase and other team members need to decrease in order for me to effectively carry out the role that I play as worship leader. I will readily admit that this is an idea that I have yet to fully embrace. In talking with Bobbi the other night at rehearsal, I told her that I trust and value her sensitivity and leadership and have given her permission to lead in areas where she has more experience than I do, especially in areas of charismatic expression. I'm hoping that if we start to work together in these areas, we'll begin to function in ways that allow for more dynamic worship.

Amy and I are continuing to process through things and we're looking at this season as a time to wait on the Lord and see what He desires to do, teach and birth in us that will help us grow for what's ahead. Pruning/refining is not a fun process, but I'm far more hopeful for continued ministry at Mercy than I was a week ago.

Praying and processing

2008-12-31T13:13:00.002-06:00

There are some posts that I just don't know how to begin. Amy and I had a particularly hard meeting with Shel this morning at church. As hard for him as for us, I'm sure, especially since he's beginning a six week renewal sabbatical this week. I'm sure he'll probably wrestle with what we talked about almost as much as we will. He has been our biggest critic and greatest support over the last two years and I love him for both.

Some of what was addressed today was how I have not been quick to grow into the charismatic style of worship leading that Mercy needs in order to be true to the identity that Mercy had as a church plant. There are times where we see glimpses, but the consistency isn't there yet and I wonder if I'm able to grow into it or not.

Issues of calling and anointing come into play. I've wrestled with my understanding of calling for the last four years and this just continues to prove that I don't have it figured out yet. How much of what is going on is due to my lack of ability and understanding of charismatic expressions of worship and how much is a simple lack of anointing from God for the task? How is it that we've experienced success in the past, but seem to struggle so much now? The last time I felt like a truly anointed leader for an entire Sunday service was possibly the Sunday that we interviewed with Mercy. There have been some good mornings since then, but that one stands out as a full on, completely abandoned act of worship that I don't think we've experienced to that level since.

One of the prescribed courses of action for the season ahead is to have Amy lead from the congregation in the 2nd service instead of from the front. That's a particularly hard thing for us to do for any number of reasons, but something that we will do in the hope that God will teach us through it. One reason that it's hard is that we've always done this together. Amy is not only the love of my life, but a musician that I trust to provide a framework for transitions and color for the sound of the band. Not having that will be a challenge and I can only begin to grasp how the change in roles makes her feel. I know she feels rejected. It's hard to have music be such a large part of your identity and have it taken from you and have it not be personal. At the same time, the first service, which she leads in a traditional style, is growing and she gets a lot of positive feedback about the job she's doing there, but it doesn't make things any easier for her.

While I have experienced a lot of "applied growth" in areas of evangelism that I never had in full time ministry, I am struggling to grow in areas of worship and general theological understanding when I don't have ministry as a full time vocation. I would say that this lack of development is a large contributor to the current situation and I'm at a bit of a loss as to where to begin to address the issue. Conferences, continuing ed, reading, praying...?

Ultimately, we'll seek to continue to be faithful in the roles we are called to at this time and diligently seek after the heart of God to see if I can finally grow into the kind of leader that Mercy needs or if I need to love the church enough to step aside and allow God to work through someone else. We will definitely not make any hasty decisions, but something's gotta give.

Ready for some down time, and some tropical temps

2008-12-23T06:42:00.002-06:00

I must admit, I had it easy last month. My schedule at the store made it so that I rarely worked more than three days in a row and really didn't have a lot of extra stuff to worry about. This month, my men's cold weather shop has taken off, I had to do pre-orders for the bikes we'll get in January-May (which historically has been a November thing rather than a week before Christmas thing) and I've had to work a normal schedule. Tomorrow will be my first day off since last Wednesday when I spent three hours at the store working on the bike program.

Fortunately, things fall somwhat in my favor over the next few days with Wednesday/Thursday off (heading to Yankton), work on Friday before heading to Mom and Dad's, and home again Saturday night with Sunday service at Mercy and the rest of the day off. After that, it's back to the normal schedule with the advantage that I will go back to having to work only one Sunday a month. They don't let me do that during the holidays which is not an issue for me.

I've talked to a few people going on trips to warm places over the next few weeks and will have to patiently wait for our trip to Jamaica in March. I won the trip through the store by making my "trip goal" in sales. My bike shop also qualified me for a trip, but I get a bonus in lieu of a second trip which means we'll have enough cash to pick up some t-shirts for the kids and maybe go on a few excursions while we're there.

Jamaica seems like a dream with as cold as it's been. Between fresh snow and blowing snow, I have been outside with the shovel every morning for the last week clearing something and the temps have been anywhere from 14 degrees to -15 with a -49 wind chill factor. It's not been pleasant, but what do you expect in South Dakota. Every day the weather gives me an excuse to day dream about all inclusive, tropical bliss with my baby poolside. Less than three months to go.

Mitchell Christmas

2008-12-12T18:42:00.002-06:00

Seems we cannot have a normal Christmas outing. We were just a few miles from Mitchell when Maia started throwing up. Amy pulled over on the interstate and we did the best we could to help her throw up in the trash can and not all over herself, her seat and her clothes. We did the best we could to get her cleaned up, but needed to stop at Kmart to pick her up some new pajamas that she could wear.

We arrived at Casey and Heidi's 15 minutes late, but luckily we didn't have to suffer through any more sickness. We had snacks, gifts and conversation in a too brief evening. It was good to see everybody, but we weren't able to leave until I was done with work and had to get back in time to put the kids down, so we were definitely a bit tight with the schedule. Maia got her first Hannah Montana Barbie from Rylie, Xander got a Bionicle from Chase and we each received the gift of green from Dave and Marie. Thanks to all!

We arrived home safely and Maia seems to be on the mend, so hopefully tomorrow will be a better day for her.

Hoping to be a bit more communicative

2008-12-10T17:26:00.003-06:00

I had coffee with Aaron this morning and he mentioned that he hadn't checked out my blog in awhile. I told him that I hadn't posted anything in awhile and that I thought it might be awhile before I actually have much time to do it. I finally decided to look into mobile posting options and should be able to text stuff to my account which might prove to be a better time killer than the video games that I've got on the phone now. I could have written a couple of posts while waiting for the car to be serviced this morning or while waiting to pick up Maia from pre-school.

Now that I have this option, we'll see how much I actually use it.

Trek's belt driven commuter bikes on CNN.com

2008-11-20T06:41:00.002-06:00

I came across this story yesterday which talks about a few of Trek's products going "chainless." Instead of having a chain drive the system, it is belt driven which is a lot quieter, easier to maintain and potentially less messy. The bikes are geared toward the commuter crowd and have a pretty high cool factor.

I had a chance to see the District in August at Trek World and it would be my personal "If I could buy one bike this year just for fun" bike. It's got a great look to it and suits my evolving "lifecyclist" approach to bikes quite well. If only I had an extra $850, room in the garage and a valid reason to buy one other than the fact that it's cool.

Choice Day

2008-11-17T07:54:00.002-06:00

I had a chance to go to Xander's school and do a "choice day" activity about bikes. Choice Day is an opportunity for kids to sign up for different activities that are led by ACE (All City Elementary) parents. Each activity is open to 2 kids from each class and they have to commit to it a few weeks in advance.

The challenge for me was that my activity involved me brining both of my bikes, Xander's bike (We the People Bold 18"), my work stand, snacks and swag. I was hoping to get in a few minutes before the activity to get set up, but the classroom was still full of kids, so I brought it in and set it in the hall. I think it took me four trips to get everything. Once the kids were released to their activities, I finally had a chance to set up with the kids already there.

I started out with a presentation on issues facing our world like obesity, pollution and access to clean water and talked about how the bike is a simple solution to these complex problems. I took my cue from John Burke (President of Trek Bikes) for this section and added a few things of my own. The hard part was making it applicable to kids from kindergarten to fifth grade.

After that, we talked about how we can have different kinds of fun on different kinds of bikes. We talked about the differences in the three bikes that I brought with (BMX, single speed mountain and road) and how each bike can be ridden. We talked a little about safety and I showed them how to properly size a road/mountain helmet and a BMX helmet. We talked a little about maintenance in regards to tire pressure (how to check and fill) and chain care. The kids were able to get a little hands on with the pressure gauges and bike pumps and asked a lot of good questions.

We then broke for snacks and I handed out swag that had been provided by Trek Bikes (socks, buttons, stickers, pencil bags made of recycled inner tubes) and Scheels (water bottles and MirraCo promo posters). I was fairly happy with how it went and know a few things that I would do different if I were to do it again. I think the fact that we ended with snacks and a lot of free stuff for the kids to take home made it a hit with them.

For more info on bike advocacy and how the bike addresses problems from obesity to global warming, visit Trek's advocacy site www.1world2wheels.org.

Sport Rant Follow Up

2008-11-17T06:32:00.003-06:00

After not getting to watch Broncos or Vikings for a few weeks, yesterday brought on the other difficult scenerio of having both on at the same time. I spent the entirety of the early NFL schedule flipping between Atlanta where the Broncos played a close game and won and Tampa (City of, not the Bay because it's hard to play football underwater) where the Vikings played a close game and lost (congrats Tim).

Interestingly enough, the Colts (my third fav) were playing at the same time as these early games which meant I was totally invested in early games but not in the late ones except where division and wild card standings are concerned. I did get to watch the last few plays of the Colts win when CBS cut to the game, but would have loved for one of the three to be televised in the later time slot. Oh well. The Steelers/Chargers matchup was a hard fought, entertaining substitute and I enjoyed watching the Chargers fall to two games behind the Broncos.

First "Winter" Commute

2008-11-08T09:04:00.002-06:00

Okay, it's not officially winter for awhile yet, but riding in the snow and wind to work yesterday sure seemed like it. I don't mind winter riding too much because with the right bike, tires and clothing, you can still enjoy it and know that almost everybody else is stuck inside spinning in one place bored out of their minds. Granted, I'll do a fair amount of that myself soon, but would like to continue to commute whenever the schedule allows.

Yesterday when I got up, I was very much on the fence as to whether I would ride or not. Temps were hovering around 30 which is no big deal and it was still fairly wet from the previous night's snow. We got just enough snow to cover things up and give the impression of winter, but I didn't have to scoop the drive which is always a blessing. Again, the right gear and even the wet conditions wouldn't be unthinkable to ride in.

The thing that gave me pause was the wind. Every once in awhile it would gust, howl and whistle in any window or door that gave the slightest hint at not being completely sealed in a way that was reminiscent of storms from the depths of winters past. The prospect of riding directly into such an adversary was not a pleasant one.

I spent most of the morning in a state of limbo where the ride was concerned. I did have a little work to do on the bike installing a new stem and I decided to spend a little time working on a presentation I'll do for a few kids at Xander's school next week about the bike being a solution to many life issues like obesity, pollution, access to clean water in third world countries and access to markets for poor farmers in remote areas of the world.

As I revisited so many of the thoughts that others have had on the topic and looked at studies of obesity rates and automobile pollution, the idea of riding to work took on fresh meaning and sticking my nose into the wind became an act of rebellion against my own culture of comfort and against a society that thinks that just because gas prices have dropped a bit means that giving thought to bike commuting is no longer a necessity.

So, resolve renewed, I got dressed, packed up the back pack and headed out. I opened the garage door and big flakes of snow were just beginning to fall again. In the wind protected cul de sac where we live it was an idyllic scene that carried a romantic association from some of my winter rides from last year.

The one advantage of the wind is that many of the streets and areas of the bike path that I ride were fairly dry with only minor drifting. I had opted to keep the standard knobby tires on my Gary Fisher Rig (single speed mountain bike with 29" tires instead of the more standard 26" tires that you usually see). I do have a set of studded tires that are a little thinner that I will break out once drifts harden and ice becomes more of an issue.

Things were plugging along well as I rode the bike path along the southeast part of town. The trees took the brunt of the wind and I actually found myself a bit too warm. Once I got off the path, the wind had a clean shot at me and I began to pay for my efforts. To add insult to injury, the beautiful falling snow transformed into sleet that was driven into my face as I methodically pushed on. By the time I got to the store I was greeted by the incredulous nature of my coworkers as they greeted me with what could only be described as varying degrees of pity and admiration.

I seriously had to towel down when I hit the rest room to change. This was one of those occasions where if we had a shower at the store, I would have used it. I had purposely dressed a little warmer than I originally thought I should believing that I needed a little more time to allow my body's conditioning to the cold to develop. After all, I did ride 30 miles in my summer kit (short sleeve jersey and shorts) less than two weeks ago. What I didn't factor in was how much harder I was going to have to work against the wind and how much heat I would personally generate. I was a sweaty, gooey mess. It didn't take me too long to get myself presentable again and I set about the day's tasks.

I was quite pleased to see that when I left the store at 9:30, the wind was still out of the northwest, still blowing hard and knew I'd have an easier time of it on the trip home. I had forgotten how different it is riding at night with snow on the ground. Areas where my little 12 lumen commuter lamp barely outline the path and obstacles during the summer were quite well defined due to the luminescence of the city reflected off of clouds above and snow below. It was really an enjoyable ride home only lacking the soft snowfall which would have put me in winter commuter bliss.

So, the first test passed, my goal will continue to be to ride to work whenever the schedule and my personal safety will permit it. The payoff is always better than the cost on days like yesterday and I hope to see a lot more winter riding this year.

Brief Sports Rant

2008-11-02T15:56:00.002-06:00

I have watched more Cowboys and Giants games this year than all of my favorite teams combined. Not that there's anything wrong with the Cowboys and Giants mind you, but neither team is remotely regional and there have been numerous times where either team has been featured when the Broncos were playing a late game on another network that was showing some crappy, third rate sport was shown instead. They have been pre-empted by beach volleyball (only watchable during the olympics), rodeo (sorry Marilyn) and today's offering "slamball" (really!!!???).

My beef is somewhat with the network, but mostly with our local CBS affiliate who decided to claim Kansas City as our local market instead of Denver after YEARS of Broncos football. It used to be that Chiefs fans had to put up the rabbit ears and pull a signal from Sioux City to watch the Chiefs, but now we get to watch their cover-your-eyes-awful team play as the local franchise. Granted, the Broncos haven't been much to brag about either and are currently struggling against Miami, but at least they have a winning record.

In the past, I would work around the non-airing of Broncos games by tuning in online to their local radio affliliate and listen to streaming audio for free, but the NFL shut that down two years ago and now I'd have to pay to even listen to them. Direct TV's monopoly-esque Sunday Ticket is not the ticket for me either because of the cost. We don't even have cable, opting instead for broadband internet.

Of course part of the issue is my work schedule as well. I am scheduled every other weekend, although I only wind up working one Sunday a month. I know of at least two Broncos games that I've missed due to work this season and I wind up missing the Vikings almost every weekend that I work (they are the local Fox affiliate's NFL franchise).

Oh well. I guess I'll take a nap through the rest of the current NFL sweethearts' matchup. Giants/Cowboys... I couldn't care less.

New Glasses

2008-10-20T10:47:00.003-05:00

My time is short this morning, but I told Mom and Dad that I'd get some pics posted of my new glasses today! Josiah told me he was ordering some prescription Oakleys and that the deal was a good one, so I opted to update as well. My last pair was about three years old and showing a good amount of wear and tear from daily abuse.

I opted to go with two pairs; one for daily use and one for days when I am commuting. I usually wind up having to take a second pair of glasses with me to work when I commute because my everyday glasses are a little too small to get adequate eye coverage on the bike. With the commute glasses, I'll have something sporty enough to wear on the bike, but still decent enough to wear all day at the store.

Speaking of, I'm off to do my first commute in the new glasses...

Last big ride for the year

2008-09-23T06:44:00.002-05:00

At the beginning of the year I set a goal for myself to ride to each of our parents' houses from Sioux Falls. Mitchell was easy as Sioux Falls/Mitchell was the first scheduled day of the Tour de Kota. Yankton finally happened in July and again in August since we just happened to be headed that way anyway.

That only left Prairie Hill Farm where my folks live, south of Hartley, IA. I anticipated it being the longest ride of the three and probably the most difficult to schedule because it would take the bulk of the day and a quick turnaround for home that night wouldn't give us any time to visit. It also usually is a route with the most amount of headwind. I decided to schedule a vacation day on Friday for the ride and stay through Saturday night with the fam.

Thankfully, the ride itself proved a bit more friendly than I'd hoped with temps in the 80's. Definitely more hills than any of the other rides, but they were mostly in the first twenty miles. The wind, which had been probably 10-30 mph out of the southeast on Thursday (which would have been a headwind the entire way) shifted and lost a little intensity so that I was probably riding in twenty mph winds out of the south/southwest. This meant I still had stretches where I had to fight it, but the headwind sections probably averaged out at about three or four miles with the longest being six miles.

I made stops in Rock Rapids, George, Sheldon (my hometown, for lunch) and Primghar, taking my time resting and refueling as much as I could without dragging the ride out too long. The only bad stretch I had was from about Archer to Primghar (about eight miles) where I just sort of hit the wall. I realized right before Primghar that I hadn't taken my Sport Legs supplements when I stopped for lunch like I had intended. Sport Legs are supposed to help stave off the production of lactic acid so that you feel fresher longer and I definitely think they help. I've said on a couple of occasions that if they are a placebo, then they're a placebo I'll continue to take.

I got my second wind and finished strong, rolling into the farm after 3:00 where the folks were sitting on the deck outside the studio waiting in the pleasant warmth and breeze of the afternoon. We sat on the deck until Dad had to go to an art show opening that he had a few pieces in, at which point I headed into the house and cleaned up. Amy and the kids arrived sometime after 5:00 and we had a good visit. We actually slept in on Saturday, had a lazy day with the family and gigantic buffalo steaks for dinner.

Schedules when school is in session make it almost impossible to do any real riding, so I'll be amazed if I can scrape together even a handful of 30-40 mile rides until next spring, but I was happy to have a good ride and achieve a goal that seemed doable with a little work at the beginning of the year.

A season for new music

2008-09-22T13:47:00.003-05:00

I decided that I needed to dig into a little new music for use at church and received a few iTunes gift cards for my birthday last month to assist me in my endeavors. So far, I have to say I'm pretty disappointed in my options where corporate worship is concerned. It's not that there isn't some good music being made, it's just that so little of it seems to have application for where I'm at.

I've come to the conclusion that I'm going to have to set to work and write what I can't find. It's not a new revelation to me, it's just that finding time and energy between one full time job, two part time jobs, volunteer commitments with both kids' schools and simply trying to be husband, father and friend is proving to be a difficult endeavor. I'm only able to write anything today because Xander is home sick from school and Amy's recital is this week. Not a good week for her to be around sick kids.

But, I did find a few things worth commenting on...

The first is John Mark McMillan's "The Medicine." I have to thank Hal Swift for indirectly putting me in touch with this artist since Hal loaned me a CD from another artist that included McMillan's song "How He Loves" which has been working me over for the last few months. We decided to introduce it at church about a month ago and in the process of tracking down resources, I came across McMillan's site which includes a music player with songs from his new album. I waited patiently until the album became available on iTunes (again, the gift cards) and downloaded it. Easily my favorite of the latest round of acquisitions including offerings from Charlie Hall, Matt Maher and Coldplay (all of which have merit of their own).

The thing I love about McMillan is he has a great sense for poetic lyricism set to creative melodies. The production is at times, raw and visceral, at times eclectic and experimental and at times simple and straight forward. At times I'm reminded of Mason Jennings, at other times Waterdeep. Certain songs continue to roll around in my head either because they stuck melodically or because they ignited a thought in me that simply needs to be meditated on. There are even a few that I expect to see us incorporate into our worship settings at Mercy.

Today brought another great find. This one for free!!! Phil Whickham has become one of my favorite singer/songwriters in modern worship and he has released a free album of live acoustic settings of some of his best songs mixed with traditional hymn interludes that I'm listening to as I write. Singalong is free just for signing up to receive email updates from Phil and is a great, low risk introduction to his music. "Singalong" is a great showcase for the songs and is a good resource for anyone looking for songs for acoustic worship.

If you like what you hear or wonder what the songs would sound like in all of their envisioned, studio glory then definitely check out his self titled album and "Cannons" which I think are two of the better artistic efforts in the worship genre in recent years. "You're Beautiful" has become one of our favorite modern anthemic hymns and "True Love" is still the song that I wish I would have written. Absolutely stunning imagery.

If anyone has any other suggestions (other than Michael W. Smith or Chris Tomlin) for me to check out in pursuit of great new congregational songs, then please feel free to leave a comment.

A lot of catching up to do

2008-09-08T10:30:00.003-05:00

August was a blur. I had a trip to Trek's Backstage event in Madison, WI, school started, we had our big Mercy Celebration at church, I made the jump from running youth cold weather at work to running men's cold weather and I'm sure a bunch of other stuff happened.

The highlight was probably the trip to Wisconsin. I got to go ride cool new stuff, meet some folks including Gary Fisher (one of the fathers of mountain biking) and get a first look at the stuff that we'll be selling next season. The demo day that we had in Waterloo at Trek's headquarters was definitely the most fun. We had a chance to ride some killer trails and I took the opportunity to ride a few bikes including Trek's Top Fuel 9.9 SL which is their best of the best, full suspension, race bike. It weighs about 20 pounds and just begs to be ridden faster and faster. We also got to demo road bikes, so I took a Trek Madone 6.9 Pro out for a spin with Bontrager Aeolus 5.5 wheels and Shimano's newest version of Dura Ace (so new the Shimano boys were actually installing it on the frames at the event). I absolutely loved this bike and only regret that I was so slagged from the mountain bike demo that I really couldn't throw too much into the road demo.

Another highlight was our Mercy Celebration at church. We moved the service outdoors, had free food, played about a 45 minute set in the afternoon and had inflatables and yard games. The turn out was pretty decent and the amount of advertising that we did has carried over in terms of first time visitors into September. We're loving things at Mercy and are excited to see what the next season will hold.

The move of cold weather departments at work was one that I had considered previously and when I heard that Kalie was leaving to take a youth ministry job in town I decided to put my hat in the ring. I really enjoyed running the youth section but it really begins to ramp up in late July into August which means that I lose a lot of focus when it comes to running the bike department as well. Men's cold weather really hasn't even hardly started, so in terms of seasonal flow, the switch to men's should compliment bikes quite well. We've had a great bike season although we were playing catch up pretty much all season. Bikes were in high demand between gas prices and stimulus checks so it will be interesting to see how next season plays out.

Xander started third grade and Amy and I are in the classroom again for our volunteer time. Xander's school requires one half day per week per student commitment so Amy and I alternate weeks. It will take a little time to adapt to a new teacher and new ways of doing things, but it should be a good year.

I also started teaching trumpet at the University of Sioux Falls this morning. I didn't have any students last year, so it's been a year and a half since I taught last. I really am looking forward to it as it will force me to practice more and stay connected to that part of my personality. It's easy for me to neglect the trumpet with everything else that I have going on, but it was my first passionate connection to music and it's nice to return home.

Hopefully September won't escape as quickly as August did, but here it is the 8th already and I'm just reconciling the end of August. Yikes!

Tonight's News

2008-08-27T22:04:00.002-05:00

Our local news tonight offered two stories as teasers before the news: there's road construction on the campus of Black Hills State University (a small school nearly 400 miles away) and the cost of paint is going up.

Tomorrow night's news: there are traffic cones in Pukwana and the cost of drapes is going up.

Obedience

2008-08-05T10:11:00.002-05:00

Oh how I love lessons in obedience. Unfortunately, I feel like I've been teaching a lot more of them as our free spirited, beauty of a four year old Maia seems to take direction about as well as a compass in a magnet store. A common response to us finally getting fed up when she has ignored our third directive to do something and the threat of punishment is imminent is, "Sorry, sorry."

My standard response to her has become, "Don't be sorry. Be obedient."

I don't know how many times we have had this exchange over the summer, but it's been a lot.

Another favorite phrase at our house that applies to both kids is "Delayed obedience is disobedience." Xander heard this a lot when he was younger and seems to grasp the idea. We haven't used this one as much with Maia yet since even delayed obedience would be a step forward.

She's such a joy (and I mean that in sincerity with all the love a father can feel) and brightens our lives in ways that can't be described, only experienced. Yet, there's the hope that she will grow into a young lady who is not only fun and delightful to be around, but also respects those around her enough to show obedience and grace.

When I look inward, I wonder how many of these lessons I have yet to really embrace myself. If I truly desire a life of Christlike obedience where what I say and what I do are intimately mated, then there's a lot of room for improvement. I find myself with so much on my plate that I keep putting things off until they absolutely have to be done. I'm reminded that "Delayed obedience is disobedience." I trip up in my attitude, actions and heart and am compelled to say "I'm sorry." I hear, "Don't be sorry. Be obedient." I keep learning and praying that God will grant me the grace to put what I learn into practice.

If I'm not carefull I'll develop a reputation

2008-07-22T10:30:00.002-05:00

I had a couple of interesting complements at work over the weekend that I thought were rather humorous. The first one is not so uncommon, but the enthusiasm with which it was delivered made it so. I had a junior high kid ask where the skateboard stuff was and after I gave him directions he said (again, enthusiastically), "You rock, dude!".

So, let it be known that I, indeed, rock.

The same day there was a lady in looking to buy a heavy bag (punching bag) and a pair of gloves. She was buying them for her place of employment where, apparently, several women work who carry a fair amount of tension. The customer was buying the bag so that when one of her coworkers needs to let off some steam, they can throw on the gloves, give the bag a beating and go about their business.

When she first arrived in the store, she got a little short with the manager who first tried to help assist her because he didn't look directly at her and she is somewhat hearing impaired and reads lips. I made a point of maintaining eye contact and took a little extra time making sure that communication was happening because it didn't seem like it would take much to piss her off. I think she appreciated it and I was the only one she communicated with that she didn't seem to get at least a little put out with.

I hooked her up with a 70 pound heavy bag and a pair of gloves and after I loaded it into the car she said (I kid you not), "You have pleased many women."

So, let it be know that I have pleased many women.

Wait, I don't think that came out quite right...

I wish I could say I was surprised

2008-07-20T17:13:00.003-05:00

I know it's a few days late, but I wanted to comment on the positive drug tests of Ricardo Ricco and the subsequent firing and confession of his teamate Leonardo Piepoli. I expressed my disgust about the arrogance of Ricco last week on the blog and censored myself from saying that I wished he would just test positive so that he'd go away. Unfortunately, I got my wish.

I really was hoping that any doping reports from this year's race would be from domestiques who rarely showed their faces at the front of the race. While Ricco testing positive isn't quite as bad as Rasmussen being removed from the race while in the yellow jersey, you hate to see a stage winner (much less a multiple stage winner) cast such a shadow over the race. The fact that Piepoli (who won a stage the day after Ricco's second win) has confessed to it as well means that we now have three stages of this year's race that were won by riders who I hope never ride a bike again professionally.

If there is any positive from this situation it's the fact that a test was in place for a relatively new drug. When I heard Ricco had tested positive for a very specific form of EPO it left very little doubt as to his guilt. After all, he has stated that he has a naturally high hemocrit level which is often an indicator of performance enhancing and because of that naturally high level, a positive test based on hemocrit levels without the presence of a specific drug would put the testing in doubt. The collaborative effort between drug manufacturers and drug testers to develop a conclusive test so quickly after a drug's introduction to market is something that the cycling community should hail as the sport continues to try to change its culture into one of clean sport.

I think David Millar from the Garmin-Chipotle team put it well when he stated that it will take years to reach a point where there are no positive tests that come from a high profile race like the Tour de France and that we need to take the long view. My hope is that we're working toward a day where we can begin to believe again in all of the performances that we see play out in France in July and I think this was an important step toward that dream. The fact this incident took out an arrogant, obnoxious jerk (it's times like this that I wish I was capable of stronger language) is merely a consolation to the shadow that Ricco and those like him have cast on the Tour.

I will go on record as saying that I hope that Ricco owns up to what he's done, serves out his (assumed) suspension and returns to cycling with the resolve that David Millar showed after getting caught several years ago. Ricco is a talented, young rider with a lot of career in front of him and I would love to see him come back more humble and an advocate for clean sport.

Running, running, running...

2008-07-20T16:40:00.002-05:00

Amy and the kids were gone for the weekend for Amy's 18th class reunion and I was overbooked and am exhausted. I think I slept for about five minutes this afternoon, but I think it will take a good night's sleep or two to recover from the weekend. I was stuck working 12-9 pm both Friday and Saturday or I would have gone with Amy. Throw in a trip to The Dark Knight, an extra rehearsal with Mike our drummer and a long morning at church and you have the perfect recipe for me running on fumes.

I can't really complain though. I have been looking forward to The Dark Knight since I first heard about it, not just since Heath Ledger's unfortunate death or since the glowing reviews started coming in. Since the opportunity presented itself, I decided to go on Friday night after work. I don't think there's anything else I can say that hasn't already been said, but it was an amazing movie that lives up to the hype and is of rare quality for a July release. It is a dramatic re-imagining of The Joker from performance to appearance to motivation and immediately places this incarnation of the character among the greatest movie villains ever. An immensely dark movie that easily should have earned an R rating and that I will not let Xander watch for several more years.

I had originally intended to check out Jazz Fest after work on Saturday, but I was already running on fumes and decided to save my energy for Sunday morning instead. With as much time as I spent at work Friday and Saturday I was pleased to have good days in sales to make it worth my while since I missed seeing so many of my friends at Amy's reunion. I'm really bummed to have missed John, but will probably give him a call soon just to reconnect.

With as hectic as the weekend was and as many extra things that I had to do for this morning's services, things went okay. We had some technical issues and I'm thinking I need to take a more active role in training our video volunteers, but in spite of a few hiccups, people seemed to connect through worship and that's what we should be concerned with. I keep hoping that we'll hit a stretch where everything just clicks and I place the blame primarily on myself. Full time ministry definitely makes for better focus and I need to figure out what I can do differently to make sure that ministry isn't just getting what's left of my time and attention after taking into account my full time job, family and hobbies. I may not have more time to give to my responsibilities in ministry, but I have to find ways to more effectively use what I have. I feel like I'm ready for a breakthrough. Hopefully, there will be more to come on this topic.

As for the full time gig, things continue to plug along well. This week will begin the transition from our summer seasons to winter seasons, so we will begin to see less bikes and begin resetting my youth cold weather shop. "What?!!," you say. "It's still July!" Yes, I know, but back to school is almost upon us and we need to get things rolling. I'll spend some time reacquainting myself with Columbia, North Face, Burton and others as we start the process that will carry us through until next March. Nothing like eight months of zipping coats to make you long for the beginning of the next bike season.

Getting back into playing shape

2008-07-15T10:50:00.003-05:00

As we start to stare the end of summer in the face, I begin my annual "will I/won't I" ritual where the trumpet is concerned. Usually I spend a little time tryin to get into playing shape only to discover that I don't have any students to teach at USF which allows me to slide back into brass hibernation. I haven't taught in a year and a half and haven't played with any organized group for more than a song on a Sunday morning since 1999, so I flirt with the instrument and begin to reestablish some conditioning all in vain.

This year is a little different though. There are rumored to be two trumpet majors coming to USF (time will tell) which means I should get to teach and there is a faculty recital at the end of October where I will be performing a piece on recital for the first time since my Master's Recital in 1997. I'm planning on doing Enesco's "Legend" which is short, expressive and fairly technical, so I won't be able to fake my way through it. Amy is accompanying me and is ready to begin practicing together. I am not, though I hope to be able to begin working together by the end of the month. She's also preparing for a September voice recital and has been doing great work, so she's inspiring me to get my butt in gear and get down to business.

I have to admit that the recital is good motivation since my philosophy for lessons has been that I only need to play just a little bit better than my students. With everything else that I have going on I simply can't devote the time to the instrument that I would need in order to be proficient, but I keep working to improve in the time I have. Thankfully, I also can teach without having to demonstrate much. Past experience has shown me that I can pull a lot from a student without having to play much, but I would still like to be able to do duets and sightread together which will be a bigger challenge for me this year as I sold my B-flat trumpet and purchased a C trumpet as my only teaching instrument. This means I will have to sight transpose with students and play things in a key other than what I see on the page. I did this a lot in grad school, but that was two lifetimes ago.

On a side note, I did finally finish paying off the trumpet that I bought in March and now I can begin to focus my energies on saving for either another guitar (since Nich moved my guitar playing is having to take on a new importance) or a new bike. I figure I'll save awhile and see what direction I want to take, but I am thrilled that I've got the trumpet payed for without a penny of interest!

Interesting Tour

2008-07-13T18:41:00.003-05:00

This year's Tour de France has been fairly interesting to this point and still has many strong contenders in most of the competitions (the overall race win is just one of the awards at stake). Kim Kirchen's race lead has been a surprise to say the least, but he's always been a decent rider and could surprise and hold on for a podium spot by the time all is said and done. You do have to wonder how so much time defending the race lead will effect him and how much it will wear on his team. It's times like that Columbia has to be happy to have a guy like George Hincapie who knows a thing or two about working for the Tour leader (seven times for Lance and last year for Alberto Contador).

On that note, for the first time we have two U.S. registered teams in the Tour. Columbia Sportswear and Garmin-Chipotle are serving as title sponsors for teams that started the year as Team Highroad and Slipstream powered by Chipotle. Both teams were essentially competing under the names of the teams' management companies before new sponsors were announced in June.

Both teams have had a fair amount of success to this point. Columbia not only has Kirchen in the race lead and points lead (a competition that generally awards the most consistent finisher on each day's racing) but they have two stage wins with sprinter Mark Cavendish and had several days with Thomas Lovkvist as the best young rider. Garmin-Chipotle currently has American Christian Vande Velde in third place and actually led the team classification for most of the first week.

It always seems like there is one guy that wins that I just flat out can't stand. Usually it's Robbie McEwen, but he's been out of the picture with his entire team devoting their efforts to helping Cadel Evans win the overall race. Instead it's been Italian climber Ricardo Ricco who has been the most obnoxious winner taking both Thursday's and today's stages. He's a phenomenal climber in the mold of the late, great Marco Pantani who just flies up hills and makes everybody else look like me when the road turns upward (only they're much, much better than I am).

Ricco is a rider that has a tendency to say what's on his mind, for better or for worse, and has managed to alienate a good portion of the pro cycling world. His attitude is arrogant as evidenced by his post race comments from today: "I was impressive, I went very fast [on the final climb]. My directeur sportif was impressed with my power output the last three kilometres of the climb." That sound you hear is me puking. Yes it was impressive, but what a schmuck.

I would say there are maybe a half dozen guys capable of winning the whole thing, but there's a lot of racing left and just about anything can happen. It should be fun.

2 down, 1 to go

2008-07-13T17:50:00.002-05:00

In January I set a goal to ride to each of our parent's houses or home towns from Sioux Falls by the end of the year. Last month, Mitchell hosted the Tour de Kota which proved a perfect opportunity to knock that one off the list. On Wednesday, I added Yankton to the list.

Wednesday was my day off and I wasn't due to the store until noon on Thursday, so we decided to take the day to head to visit Jim and Marilyn and spend the night. I kept an eye on the weather and planned to ride there if it would cooperate. It turned out to be almost ideal. I rolled out of the driveway at 5:30 am with no wind at all and headed southwest for what I assumed was to be between 80 and 90 miles.

I rolled through Tea, Lennox and Centerville before the wind started to come up a bit out of the west. Not bad, but just enough to remind me that the day wasn't going to be a total gimme. I stopped off in Irene after 53 miles to get some more gatorade, a couple of nutty bars, a to go pack of Corn Pops and a Starbucks Frappuccino. One of the things I love about longer rides is being able to eat a good amount knowing that I'll still burn more than I take in.

I hit the road again and texted Amy to let her know where I was. It turns out she was probably within a mile of me when I set out again. I headed south to Volin and hit some roads that I got to know fairly well when we lived in Yankton while we made the move from Indiana to South Dakota three years ago.

Once I turned west, the wind was in my face the rest of the way. It still wasn't bad, but I knew I'd have it for 15-20 miles and I was starting to get a little tired. I rolled into Yankton still going strong but still had to head out west of town to the far side of Lewis and Clark Park. By the time I hit the horse camp at the far side of the park I had logged 86.6 miles and was feeling pretty well ready to be done. Amy drove down the hill from the house to pick me up rather than have me ride the last half mile of steep, gravel road where I almost certainly would have had to walk or risk falling down.

The great thing was, I made it in under five hours leaving a good amount of time for hanging out on the boat which is where we spent most of the afternoon and early evening. We then headed back to the house where we lit up the chiminea and watched the stars come out.

Now the only big ride I have left on the radar is the ride to Mom and Dad's south of Hartley. I expect it to be the longest of the three rides at around 95 miles, but it will have the most familiar roads since I started riding some of them over 20 years ago. I'm not exactly sure when I'll get the ride scheduled, but I suppose it had best be soon or I'll have the logistical nightmare of having to work around school schedules.

End of an era for Delirious

2008-07-06T08:57:00.002-05:00

I received a press release via email today that Delirious is taking a break from recording and performing after 2009. Whether that break is permanent or not only time will tell, but it does close a chapter on one of my favorite bands and one of the most important groups in the development of modern worship.

Their influence on other artists can't really be estimated as they blazed a trail that so many others have followed. Their live shows were always an interesting mix of artistry, reverential worship and rock and roll energy. Their recordings always sought to be sonically creative and true to what they were hearing and feeling to the point that some listeners tuned them out for not simply producing a career full of "I Could Sing of Your Love Forever" and "Deeper" knock offs.

I had the pleasure of attending a Worship Together conference that they were a part of in Nashville several years ago and still am amazed by the ability of each band member to offer insightful, thoughtful, prayerful commentary on everything from basic musical considerations and worship planning to cultural and theological topics.

My prayer is that God will continue to bless them as they move into other pursuits to spread the Kingdom of God and I thank Martin, Stu G, Tim, Jon and Stew Smith for inspiring and leading me in the worship of my God.

How long has it been?

2008-07-06T08:35:00.002-05:00

I finally managed to find a few minutes to write without having to kick Xander off the computer and where my work, rehearsal, riding schedule isn't getting in the way.

Lots of things going on right now. We're a couple of weeks into our "post-Nich" team setting at church where I am now not only lead worshipper, but also lead guitar. Obviously, I cannot replace Nich (now pursuing his music career in L.A.), but I'm doing my best to balance the dual roles that I have within the team. I'm going to need more time to practice and will have to make decisions in corporate worship much faster in order to keep things cohesive. Unfortunately, I'm also beginning to put together a new wish list of gear to help me be able to have all the tools that I need as a guitar player.

I've been riding a decent amount lately both on and off road. I've hit two state parks with the mountain bike that I had never been to before this year and have managed to log my first few "strong" road rides of the year. I still don't feel like I've hit a stride this season, but I'm finding myself riding more for the joy of riding than because of any goals I have set for myself this year.

At work things have been going well. Bikes have been hot between higher gas prices, government stimulus checks and a favorable recreational climate in Sioux Falls for cyclists. We have sold way more bikes by this point than I thought we would and are already having to order mostly 2009 models because 2008 models are out of stock (this didn't happen with much frequency last year at all). I also found out recently that I get to make another trip to Wisconsin to the Trek mothership where I will get to be a part of their "backstage" portion of the annual Trek World dealer show. I'll get first peaks at some of the new product, learn the tech and get to demo ride with dealers from around the country and a few professional riders. Chris Horner and Travis Brown are the early rumored riders, but you never know who else might show up (last year Lance made an appearance).

We're hoping to make a quick trip to Yankton sometime this week to hit the lake with Jim and Marilyn. If the weather is favorable, I might even ride down there from SF and just nap on the boat in the afternoon. Otherwise, we're probably not going much of anywhere for a vacation this year. Time, money and gas are all conspiring to keep us very close to home but by the time you mix in summer day camps, swim lessons and stays at the grandparents, the kiddos should have plenty of memories from this summer.

About the only travel on our minds right now is the trip to Cancun that I am on track to earn from the store for next March. After this past cold weather season, I'm not only looking forward to it for the break from the South Dakota winter, but also because it will be an entire week where I don't have to zip up a coat at the store. I know that seems like something that would be a long way away, but I will start to set my youth cold weather shop in 16 days for back to school ads. Thus will begin the eight months of having coats to sell, restock, mark down, reorder and generally bury myself in. Fun right?

The week that was (part 3)

2008-06-21T10:35:00.002-05:00

It's taken awhile to do the recap of the week leading up to Father's Day, but I finally made it. Friday I had to return to work for the day. It was a little difficult to stay focused in the midst of a mini-vacation, but I managed to make it through.

That night, Amy and I hit Granite City for dinner courtesy of a gift card that I had received for helping with the SD Outdoor Expo in Huron a few weeks before. We then headed to C.J. Callaway's for a send-off party for Nich, our lead guitar player. Nich got an offer to move to California to record and tour with someone that he's been playing with for the last year or so and it was too good an opportunity to pass up. We'll definitely miss him at church, but how often do you get a legit chance to chase after a dream like that? We hung out until they closed the place down at midnight and then headed home to get some rest.

Saturday I decided to head out to Beaver Creek with the Rig for some mountain biking. The corporation is doing a contest between all of the stores much like last year and I was selected as an alternate for the team. When Eric dropped out, I inherited his spot and had to make up some miles and time that he missed while he was on a missions trip. This year instead of doing strictly road bike miles, we alternate road weeks with mountain bike weeks where we need to ride for four hours off road (no bike path or street riding). I had four hours to make up for Eric, plus four for myself for this week which I wrapped up this morning. There's also a sales requirement for high end bikes for team members that I managed to wrap up early on.

After getting home and cleaning up, Amy and I had lunch and then went for a bike ride to the church where Amy had a vocal coaching session with someone from the first service. When we got home, we got ready for Josiah's wedding (a co-worker and brother in Christ) in Watertown. The wedding was a great time of worship and I was really happy for Josiah. He's a great guy who I respect a lot and who makes the work environment much more enjoyable.

Sunday was Father's Day (finally) and we started off with services at the church where we did several songs Nich had requested since it was his last service before moving. After church, we headed to Mom and Dad's where a ton of family had gathered. My grandpa, step-grandma, sister's family, aunts, uncles and several cousins had gathered. We hung out in the art gallery where we had lunch and conversation and pretty much just hung out for the day. It was fun conversing on the new patio off the front of the gallery and enjoying a gorgeous day.

Monday finally brought a return to reality and I'm still trying to reacclimate to a regular work schedule again. I get to work today and tomorrow and hope to hit a groove again soon.

The week that was (part 2)

2008-06-17T09:04:00.002-05:00

After a disappointing Tour de Kota, we had Maia's fourth birthday party to look forward to. The buildup had been great as her excitement began to grow in the weeks ahead. It wound up being a family only affair which was probably a good thing because we had 18 people at our house for the party from Sioux Falls, Mitchell, Yankton and Hartley, IA.

Maia is nothing if not a grateful recipient of gifts and everything she opened brought a positive reaction, including some of the boxes. She made out pretty well with clothes (everyday and dressup) and toys and got a Little Tykes playhouse that our friends Chip and Kim gave us that will hopefully entice some outdoor playtime for the remainder of the summer. After the party, the kids went with my folks back to the farm in NW Iowa for the rest of the week along with cousins Cassie and Lexi.

Wednesday dawned cool, windy and threatening rain, perfect conditions for a nice six hour drive. We left for Brainerd, MN and the annual Scheels Awards Dinner where I was a fortunate recipient because the youth cold weather shop that I inherited when I moved into sales is the strongest in the corporation out of 22 stores. I couldn't help but think about how much Pam, Deb, Heather and Jill did to help me stumble through my first season running the shop and how undeserving I was to receive anything in recognition for it.

I still gladly accepted the invite to Madden's on Gull Lake, a resort outside of Brainerd, since it meant a good meal, a chance to dress up and a mini-vacation for me and Amy. We rolled in at about 4:30 to temperatures of about 45 degrees and a little rain, got checked in and started getting ready. The events kicked off with a social hour from 6 to 7, dinner from 7 to 8 and then the awards. We had a good showing from Sioux Falls and had a chance to hang out with some of the folks from the store who I don't usually get to spend as much time with.

The next morning dawned clear, still, peaceful and warmer. We headed down to breakfast at about 8:30 and missed just about everyone from Sioux Falls, but enjoyed a great buffet that tided us over until we stopped for lunch at about 3:00. We decided since it was about 60 degrees and sunny, we'd check out and take a little time to hang out on the grounds of the resort before we headed back. We checked out the gift shop, and spent a little time in a little marshy area in the middle of the grounds to watch a turtle flirt with the water's edge and enjoyed the birds singing.

The drive home was entirely uneventful and we got home at about 4:30 with time enough to nap before we had to take off for worship team rehearsal.

All in all, it was a good, if too brief, trip that we might take more time for if I get to go again. I think if I do get to go again, I will feel like a much more deserving award recipient since I have a much more active role in the direction of my shops this year. If the year ended now, I would actually get to go for both my youth cold weather and bike shops. I'm hoping I can hold my leads in the shops, but only time will tell.

Still to come: farewell to a rock star, a worshipful wedding and a Father's Day extravaganza.

The week that was (part 1)

2008-06-16T07:13:00.003-05:00

Rarely do we find ourselves with a week of recreational and social engagements that keep us running for an entire week, but last week was a perfect storm that had us bike touring, birthday partying, awards dinnering, goodbye partying, wedding attending and family gathering until we're just about worn out.

Sunday and Monday last week were the only two days that I was available to do the 4th Annual Argus Leader Tour de Kota. I've done at least two days each year and was looking forward to this year's ride, although with a little trepidation. Sunday dawned idyllic with slight sprinkles, little wind and a good, first day of a bike tour buzz as riders left Sioux Falls for Mitchell. Unfortunately, I only got to experience the atmosphere at the check in since I wasn't going to be able to leave until after leading worship for church.

By the time I left, it was 1:30, the wind had come up just a little and shifted so that it would be in my face the entire way. I felt pretty good getting started though and plugged through the towns of Hartford and Humboldt with little trouble. The next stretch was a little windier and I started to regret not having anybody else around. I mean, is it really a bike tour if you are the only one riding? Not only were there no riders, but all of the food stands and communities had packed everything up and there were few signs remaining to indicate what kind of activity had taken place earlier. I met up with Amy to grab some food and top off the drinks and was already pretty knackered from the wind.

I knew that leaving so late I was running the risk of higher winds with no one to share the work with through drafting and that I very well could be the last person into the campground that day. That nearly proved true, but I caught my first "riders" about six miles before Mitchell. They were walking at the time and told me they had left Sioux Falls at 7:30 in the morning. One of the guys was having leg problems and they were plodding along as best they could. I'd ridden the last stretch of the ride late last summer when we were in Mitchell for Amy's grandma's birthday celebration, so I anticipated the valley and final uphill into town and was surprised as I came down the hill on the east side of the valley to see that there were two more riders struggling up the hill on the west side. With a couple of rabbits to chase, I put in a little more effort and managed to pass the two riders about a quarter of a mile before the campground. The last day that I rode on last year's Tour, I wound up being the first rider in by a good hour. This time, I was nearly the last after a late start and 70 miles of riding by myself into a headwind.

I rolled into camp and caught up with a few friends from Sioux Falls and from previous Tours before calling Amy to have her pick me up. We went over to her dad's for dinner in the back yard and then over to Leigh Anne's where we were spending the night. The kids got to sleep on a hide-a-bed which Maia thought was the coolest thing she'd ever seen (she talked about it every 15 minutes that she was awake) and we crashed pretty hard.

The next day was another 70 mile day to Chamberlain with an optional loop to make it 100 miles, but talk of a west wind had made most riders consider bagging the century ride long before they set out. I was more fearful of how my body was going to react after only being off the bike for 12 hours. Leigh Anne got me started with a good breakfast at 6:00 and I left from her house at about 6:30.

The wind was already strong out of the west leaving most riders struggling along at 9-10 mph which was a little slower than I wanted to go. I was plugging along at 12-13 mph and looking for a group going slightly faster that I could join up with to share the load and pound out the miles. 20 miles into the ride, that group had not yet materialized and it was all I could do to hold 12 mph with my heart rate consistently in the 150's. I had the realization that I ride because it's fun and I wasn't having fun anymore. I had already done one full day into the wind and I would be out there for another four hours at my current rate of speed suffering like a dog. I decided that I'd turn around at Plankinton and head back since Amy and the kids were still in Mitchell. I made the turn around and passed about a million riders that I'd already passed from the opposite direction and made them all wonder what glory it would be to ride with the wind instead of against it. I looked down at one point and was riding effortlessly at 26 mph with my heart rate at 129 and for the first time on this year's Tour de Kota, had some fun.

I know, there are those that will deride me for being a quitter, but I've done communal suffering before and have my own war stories to tell and decided that this just wasn't a ride worth finishing. Had I been doing the next day's ride I would have absolutely plugged on and ridden to Chamberlain, but since I was heading back to Sioux Falls that night, it just wasn't worth the struggle.

I arrived back at Leigh Anne's about an hour after I had turned around and hit the shower and hung out for conversation for a bit. We decided to get together with Casey and Heidi and their family for lunch and had a good time hanging out with them for awhile. We then headed back to Sioux Falls. I had the realization that we probably saved about 8 gallons of gas by not going to Chamberlain, so I suggested that we take the kids to "Kung Fu Panda" when we got back to town. The kids were excited and we actually managed to salvage a pretty decent family day out of a pretty crappy bike tour day.

Still to come: Maia's birthday party, the Scheels Awards Dinner, Nich's farewell party, Josiah's wedding and a trip to the farm for Father's Day

Reliving my sporting youth

2008-05-31T11:20:00.004-05:00

The Lakers vs. the Celtics in the NBA finals! The Giro d'Italia (Tour of Italy) goes over the Gavia Pass! I'm having '80's flashbacks all over the place.

Growing up, I was all about Magic, Kareem, Worthy (pictured), Cooper, Rambis, Byron Scott and the rest of my beloved Lakers. Scott Jacobson and I would go back and forth between my Lakers and his Celtics and for most of the '80's the debate raged on. Of course, I've enjoyed fairly recent success as a Lakers fan, but this is sooooo much better. The gold vs. the green will look so sweet (assuming that I'm actually able to watch any of it).

Needless to say though, I am a bigger cycling fan than basketball, so I can't help but be nostalgic when the Giro d'Italia included the Gavia Pass on today's stage, 20 years after my favorite cyclist, Andy Hampsten, somehow willed himself over the snow covered, gravel road on his way to claiming the only American victory in the history of Italy's grand tour. It's been fun reading interviews and retrospectives from the '88 race over the last month. It's been a great reminder of the early days of American cycling's introduction to the European stage and why I fell in love with this sport in the first place.

This year's Giro will end tomorrow and has been a fun one to follow online (I don't have cable or Direct TV, so no access to any televised coverage). The riders will start tomorrow's time trial stage with only four seconds separating first and second place. The current leader is Alberto Contador who won last year's Tour de France while a part of the Discovery Channel Team and he should fair pretty well since he is a better time trialer than Riccardo Riccò and the next best guy is two minutes back. Even though Contador is Spanish and the team is registered in a European nation and sponsored by the government of Kazakhstan there is still a US connection. The team rides Trek bikes designed and built in Waterloo, Wisconsin!

A bike tip from your old uncle Matt and demo pics

2008-05-28T11:15:00.004-05:00

If you have it in mind to buy a bike this summer, you may want to do so sooner rather than later. Many manufacturers run on a September to August production schedule where you would see 2009 models begin to arrive at summer's end, so in terms of bike retail season, we are already nearing the end of 2008 even though summer is just starting. With the new model year, comes new pricing and we are already seeing 2008 bikes becoming unavailable.

I got a peek at some of the 2009 pricing and costs are going up. Quite a bit in some cases. So, if you are interested in a sub $500 bike you may want to buy very soon before the new pricing comes into effect. This is almost in direct contradiction to my usual "buy late season closeout or right after the first of the year" philosophy (which I think still holds true for high end bikes), but I am seeing such a shortage of bikes for that budget minded, recreational rider that I think you're better off buying now if you can afford to.

Doomsdaying aside, I was finally able to get a few pics from the demo that I was able to do a few weeks ago in Huron with the Trek Demo Fleet.

Me setting a couple of guys up for test rides on a Trek Remedy 9 and Trek Fuel EX9. The trailer had about 35-40 bikes in it retailing from about $1700 to $5400. We set up probably two dozen of the bikes for demos while I was there.

Me riding a Trek 69'er single speed. This was one of my favorite bikes of the day primarily because I ride a lot of single speed at home with my Gary Fisher Rig. The nice thing with a single speed is that it's all about picking the best lines, measuring your effort and doing whatever it takes to cover the obstacles in front of you. If you aren't successful, it's your fault for not riding smart.

Me riding a Trek 69'er 3x9 geared hardtail. You can tell that they gave us the absolute best location on the entire fairgrounds with all of the garbage and heavy machinery.

Improvisitory dining and other Memorial Day events

2008-05-27T09:30:00.002-05:00

Memorial Day found me at work (again) where we had high hopes with good weather and were running from open to close. The only downside of the day was that I had four customers who I needed to special order bikes for. This on a day when if I would have been able to sell them something that I had in stock I would have received commission and a half (3%) instead of the normal 2%. Oh well. I had a really good day anyway and enjoyed the pace more than I have over the last 10 days.

I did have to build a bike myself for a customer during my lunch break because we didn't have the size that we needed. I had tried to push it off until later in the day, but the customer needed to be on the road before when I thought we could finish it, so I told them two hours and planned to build it myself. I grabbed my lunch (yogurt and granola) and headed to the shop to build. I reached the shop before realizing that I didn't have a spoon. I really didn't want to run back up to my desk, so I improvised and used a Pedro's Tools tire lever instead. I think the shop guys found great humor in the utensil selection.

Meanwhile, back at the homestead Amy, Jim and Marilyn put a coat of paint on the inside of the garage and hung peg racks and some peg board to get the garage put together a bit more. By the time I got home, Jim was putting on the finishing touches and everything was looking great. The only casualty of the day was the beer that I knocked over while putting my bike back on the Thule car that spilled all over the floor and camping chairs. The floor was easy to clean, the camping chairs may smell like beer for the rest of their existence. That should be fun the next time we take them to a church function!

A Day with the Trek Demo Fleet

2008-05-18T08:19:00.002-05:00

I had a great time hanging out yesterday at the State Fairgrounds in Huron with Ken from the Trek demo program and Mike our Trek rep. We were there as part of the first South Dakota Outdoor Expo. The store was involved in kayak, bow hunting, air rifle and bike demos throughout the grounds and Josiah and I spent most of our day helping set people up for test rides on high end Trek and Gary Fisher bikes.

We arrived Friday night and took a look at where we were set up. They had built a demo track for the mountain bike stuff that needed some serious modifying. Think of a motocross track on a smaller scale with a simple out and back design. It was way too aggressive with some obstacles being completely unrideable for all but expert riders. We managed to track down a bobcat and tamed it down a bit. Unfortunately, the demo truck was closed up by that time and we had to wait for the next morning to give it a test run.

We arrived at about 7:30 Saturday morning and helped set up the tents and bikes. The demo fleet consists of 30-40 bikes hauled in a trailer by a beautifully decked out VW Toureg and Ken who handles bike demos from Toronto to Manitoba to Arkansas. He had been in Detroit the week before and goes to Winnipeg next. Ken's got a full assortment of tools, his service stand and everything else that you need for a successful demo.

Armed with bikes, Josiah and I headed out to give the course a go. Neither of us was horribly successful as Josiah got hung up between a couple of rises that didn't have enough space between them and wound up on his back and I came off of a table top obstacle and had to bail out when I lost control. Thankfully, I stayed upright and held onto the bike, but I didn't manage to actually stay on the bike. More course modification ensued and we finally had a course that we felt gave riders a chance to really try the bikes out without fear of death.

One of the fears that I had for the event was that it was advertised almost exclusively to the hunter/fisherman crowd and that we would go almost completely unnoticed. This fear was compounded when we saw that we were on the outskirts of the event behind several buildings. You were either going to have to really look for us or stumble onto us to know we were even there.

For the first two hours, we saw nobody and were getting pretty frustrated. Josiah and I had a chance to really work the course on some really great bikes, so it wasn't a complete loss for us. I started with the Gary Fisher Hi-Fi Carbon Pro and Superfly (both about $5000 retail bikes) and rode the Fisher Hi-Fi Pro 29 and Paragon and Trek Remedy 9, Fuel EX 9, geared 69'er and 69'er single speed and was the only one to do a road demo all day with a Trek Madone 5.2 with a beautiful Bontrager Race X Lite wheelset (an upgrade over the regular Madone 5.2).

I enjoyed pretty much everything that I rode, but kept coming back to the Hi-Fi Carbon Pro and 69'er single speed. I've never really had a chance to ride much full suspension, so the Hi-Fi was a whole new experience for me. I own a Fisher single speed, so the 69'er single was a natural fit for me. I did really enjoy the 69'er geared bike as well and know that was probably Josiah's favorite of the day. I don't know how many laps we rode, but I rode everything that came out of the truck and spent most of the day from 8:00 am to probably 5:30 pm on a bike.

We finally started seeing some action late in the morning and wound up doing 53 demo rides through the day where we would set up the rider, give them some instruction and then head out on the course with them. The course was still a bit aggressive for most of the riders that we saw and we had about an 80% crash rate, no injuries (other than pride) and lots of smiles. We had a lot of teenage riders and probably about 20 adults through the course of the day. Most of the riders learned how to navigate the course and wiped out less as they became more familiar with the speed they needed to carry.

We packed up at 6:00 and they are back at it again today, but I had to head home after grabbing some prime rib with the guys so that I could be home for church this morning. I rolled in about 10:00 last night and wanted to watch the news because KSFY had a cameraman at the event that shot some at the mountain bike course, but of course when the story aired, it was all about hunting and fishing. Go figure.

Sickness and Seminary Class

2008-05-09T09:56:00.003-05:00

By the time I got home from church on Wednesday night, I was feeling exhausted from too much work, not enough sleep and a few attempts at 5:30 am bike rides to get a few miles in. Throughout the night my stomach was unsettled, head hurt, alternated between being too hot and too cold and found myself wide awake at 3:00 am despite being physically exhausted. I actually got out of bed, grabbed the iPod and listened to a little Rita Springer just letting it wash over me as I tried to soak body and spirit in rest.

Thursday has been my day off for the last year, so I knew I'd have a chance to sleep some throughout the day, but I had a few morning committments that I feared I might have to miss. Thankfully, a little Tylenol, some Sudafed and some Airborne had me feeling well enough to take on the morning.

Amy and I had been invited to be guest speakers for a worship leadership class at Sioux Falls Seminary by Cory Seibel who spoke at Mercy last fall and I really didn't want to miss it. Thankfully, things went well as we talked about our current roles in worship, what we've done in the past and what worship looks like at Mercy Church.

After class, Amy headed off on her new bike to teach at USF and I had coffee with Shel at Black Sheep. The school year seems to make it almost impossible for us to get together outside of church activities, so I was glad I was able to keep the appointment. I think the last time we'd been able to do that was Good Friday and we're hoping that we'll be able to get more face time with each other over the summer.

By last night, I was feeling okay, but not great and decided to skip our Thursday night product meeting at the store and rest instead. This morning, after a good night's sleep and a little food, I feel much better. That's a good thing since I work the next six days straight. I'm hoping this won't start a new cycle of fatigue and illness.

Chewed Out

2008-05-03T10:21:00.003-05:00

I have been really fortunate to not have any customer service nightmares to this point in my sales career, but yesterday was a doozie. I had a call from a customer about three weeks ago wanting to order a bike for her son's birthday that we no longer had in stock. I tracked one down at one of our other stores, had it sent to us and when she called a little over a week ago to confirm that it was there, everything looked rosy.

Yesterday morning, she showed up to pick up the bike. The only problem was, we no longer had it. I don't know what happened, but the bike that I ordered for her got sold to somebody else. I don't know whether it was intentional or accidental, but I got to deal with one very upset customer as a result. She had taken the day off from work to come pick up the bike that she had ordered and called to confirm and there was no way for us to send it home with her that day.

She was teary eyed, shaking and asked to talk to a manager. I called Jen over and we tried to move on to the solution side of the problem, but the customer needed time to vent and the two of us were the nearest targets. She was absolutely justified in her anger. I don't blame her a bit for being upset because it was definitely our screw up.

Jen and I offered the best solution scenarios that we could which included trying to order the bike again (knowing it would probably arrive too late) and substituting another bike at the same price which normally we sell for $80 more. After she talked to her husband on the phone, she settled on the replacement bike. I tried talking her into one frame size that I think would be better for her son right now, but that he would outgrow in about three years, but she opted for the next size up which I don't even think the kid will be able to ride. I was not going to argue with her about it, but told her that I would be happy to order the original bike just in case he doesn't like or doesn't fit the one she took home. She declined. After I helped her load the bike, I told her to give me a call if there was anything else I could do for her. I expect I'll probably hear from her soon if her son can't ride the bike because it's too big.

I pretty much expended all of my energy for the day on that one disaster and it wasn't even 11:00 yet. I spent a little time trying to see if I could figure out where the original bike had gone and who had sold it, but wasn't able to make any progress so I decided I just needed to let it go. Hopefully, that never happens to me again.

A New Trumpet

2008-04-12T07:01:00.002-05:00

Some of you may remember that a million years ago, I was actually a trumpet player who pursued the instrument all the way through to a Master's Degree. Some of you may have a hard time believing this because you either know me as a guy who does bike sales or a singer/guitar player.

Well, I do still play trumpet occassionally and now it may have to be less occasionally since I finally purchased a new instrument. After grad school, I gradually sold off most of my horns in order to purchase things that were of a more pressing need (guitars, amps, pedals). The last horn I sold off was my Yamaha Bb that I bought in undergrad that was a large bore, heavy walled instrument that was really a great horn, but more horn than my occasional trumpet playing tendencies could handle. I sold it on eBay and bought a Blessing ML-1 Bb trumpet and a guitar amp.

For awhile I thought the Blessing would work out alright for me. After all, it's not like I was getting the chance to play alot. That changed when I started teaching a few students at the University of Sioux Falls for the Fall '06 semester. I quickly learned the limits to the instrument. It would be great as a lead instrument for a jazz big band, but too bright and unwieldy for most other applications. Demonstrating technique or any kind of nuance of sound that required more subtlety or a slightly darker tone was nearly impossible.

Had I been teaching last fall, I probably would have made this purchase sooner, but I held out since I didn't have any driving motivation without regular opportunities to play. I have the chance to play on the USF faculty recital in the fall now and decided that I needed to make the change now in order to give myself time to get back in shape, pick a piece and beat it into a state of performance readiness.

I started asking around about instruments at the local shops awhile ago and just kept checking in over time. Finally, Sioux Falls Music had a French Besson C trumpet at a clearance price that was too good to pass up. I still exercised patience as I had some other things that were more pressing and wanted to play a few times before trying it out so I wasn't making a decision that I would regret like the last one that I bought.

I decided yesterday was the day and Amy and Maia decided to come along as well. I played the horn a bit while the girls looked at other stuff and asked Amy's opinion after awhile. She said it was up to me but that it had a good tone (she knows how I like to sound) and I felt like it blew very much like what I used to play.

Why a C trumpet instead of a standard Bb? I played A LOT of C trumpet in grad school and really got to the point where it was the instrument that I was most comfortable on. I did mostly orchestral and classical solo lit by that time and the Bb was only used for wind ensemble and any jazz stuff I got to do. Since I'm mostly playing in a classical style now and demonstrating to students in a one on one lesson setting, the C trumpet will feel more like home. It may take me a little time to get my skills of transposition back (especially when playing literature written for Bb), but I can't wait to begin to dig in.

Now if I can just get through the weekend I might even be able to play a little.

Guess we're headed to the Cheese

2008-04-08T06:28:00.002-05:00

Our family does the NCAA tournament brackets at home with the winner selecting the restaurant of their choice as the grand prize. Xander took the seeding very literally through the entire tournament and destroyed the rest of us since all four number 1 seeds made the Final Four. To top it off though, he also selected the correct participants in the title game and the correct national champ. Out of the 63 games (or 64 if you count the play in game) Xander was 47 and 16 which comes out to a 74.6% win percentage.

Looks like we're headed to Chuck E. Cheese.

Another thing about my run

2008-04-08T06:26:00.001-05:00

I realized after yesterday's post that my run yesterday morning was my first 30 minute run since the first Bush administration... As in Bush Sr.

First ride and run of the season

2008-04-07T06:16:00.002-05:00

I'd been wondering how long it would take to finally get that first road ride of the season under my belt since we've had so much snow and so little opportunity, but I finally did it over the weekend when we visited Jim and Marilyn in Yankton. Now, Yankton isn't exactly the spot I would pick for my first ride out because of the hills and I expected to hurt a lot on this ride, but temps and precip finally called a truce to allow a few days of decent riding conditions. The wind decided to kick it up to make for less than ideal conditions, but beggars can't be choosers in this part of the country.

I did about 30 miles and left at 10:00 in order to finish up by noon so I could have lunch with the family and be somewhat social for the afternoon. The 25 mph wind off the still ice-laden lake was a bit brisk as I rode through the park, but I got my legs warmed up and readied myself for the first hill section climbing out of the river valley. I was surprised when I hit the first hill section and didn't hurt nearly as bad as I thought I would. I certainly didn't show midseason, aggressive climbing form, but I wasn't gasping and weezing. I even hit 40 mph on one downhill section.

I did a sort of figure eight route that took me out of the valley, into town, all the way through the valley to where highways 52 and 50 meet up again and then back to my first hill section in the opposite direction. I really did have some good climbing sections and returned home really feeling good about the ride.

I got to test out some new gear while I was at it. After borrowing saddles from Bryan all of last season, I got my first ride out on my new Selle Italia Gel Flite saddle. I hated everything that I borrowed from Bryan and really didn't think about my new saddle much (which is a good thing). I still need to break it in a bit, but expect that it will be one that I'll be thrilled with once Tour de Kota hits in June.

I also got to test my new Polar CS200 computer. I was at a training for the store in October and was given a Polar heart rate monitor and was amazed to see what I could learn about the way that I work based on my heart rate. When the bracket on my old computer mount broke, I decided this might be a good season to step up into a heart rate compatible computer. It worked like a charm and I was able to use hrm information to gauge effort and recovery in a way that I never have before. I also got to take the Serfas carbon water bottle cages that I bought from Bryan on Friday for a ride. They are super lightweight and much easier in and out than my old cages, one of which broke, the other of which is now on my Rig.

In a very surprising move, I did my first half hour run since high school this morning. It's still too cold and dark out to ride early and I've about had it with kettle bells which I've been doing since October but really trailed off in January when I had some muscle pain in my left arm, so I checked the forecast and decided to run instead. I actually did better than I thought I would. I did about three miles on the bike trail and was able to settle into a rhythm pretty well. I was not fast by any stretch of the imagination, but I managed to keep it rolling. I'm not sure that this will become a regular part of my life, but it may be something to pick up when it gets cold again in the fall.

This is Spring?

2008-04-01T10:36:00.002-05:00

Between selling bikes and scooping snow I'm getting a bit confused as to which season we're actually experiencing. I still haven't managed to get my road bike out at all and have had to settle for putting early season miles on my Rig, most with studded tires.

It seems like every time we get close to having a few days opportunity to ride, it dumps another 3-5 inches of snow. It dumped on us yesterday and the forecast is for maybe a little snow tomorrow, but it looks like things will warm up enough to get rid of all of it by the weekend when we'll be in Yankton. Having my first road ride of the year in the river valley would tear me apart, but it would be well worth it just to get out.

Speaking at church

2008-04-01T10:33:00.003-05:00

I had a chance to speak at Mercy on Sunday and the general response was very favorable. I was the first of the staff to fill in for Shelby while he and the fam took a mini vacation. I recycled and refined a sermon that I've done a few times now in order to set the stage well for the other staff who will lead over the next several months. I'm sure there are some that may have a hard time forgiving me for eating a Twinkie in front of them, but it had to be done.

Invite

2008-03-26T06:42:00.002-05:00

Anyone who happens to be around Sioux Falls this Sunday morning is invited to come check out Mercy Church. I'll be speaking at our traditional service at 8:00 and our contemporary/emerging service at 10:45. It's been awhile since I've done a sermon, so a few friendly faces would be quite welcome.

Wasn't daylight savings time last week?

2008-03-16T07:55:00.002-05:00

DST may have been last week, but I lost my sleep this week instead. We've been really fortunate with our neighbors since we moved to Sioux Falls who have always been courteous and easygoing. But, in both places we've lived (both duplexes) they have had the habit of going out on Saturday night and coming home in the wee small hours.

In our first place, Alyssa's room was right above ours, so when she came home late, we'd hear her overhead getting ready for bed, stumbling around or (just once) having a shouting match with someone. It's been a little better in our current residence with the exception being that Brady and Tamra's garage door opener is right below our bed.

Last night at 1:42, the garage door opened and startled us out of a deep sleep. I actually drifted off again very quickly, until the garage door closed. I stayed in bed, awake, for the next half hour before getting up to get a drink and read a bit. I finally went back to bed about 3:15 and was asleep soon after and am having a bit of trouble getting going this morning.

Ironically, DST really didn't effect my sleep patterns or feeling of rest, but this may be my week to adjust to a lost hour of sleep.

Dad would be proud (I think)

2008-03-14T10:23:00.002-05:00

Every once in awhile we will have some merchandise at work that shows up in the break room that employees can bid on for the chance to take it home. Items can range from blemished clothing to gift lodge items and usually sit there for a week or so before bidding ends.

I headed to the break room the other day and there was a print from Terry Redlin (South Dakota's most renowned "artist") up for bidding. Deb asked the question, "What's wrong with it?" to which I responded, "What's wrong with it is that it's a Redlin." Thankfully, Deb and I have had conversations about movies, culture and the performing arts before, so I knew I didn't really need to put the filter on. She argued the "artist giving the people what they want in order to make a living" angle and I argued the "artistic integrity thrown away in order to cash in by creating cheap, pop-art crap" angle.

It was fun and I finally got to vent about one of the gift lodge's cash cows in a way that I have refrained from doing since starting at Scheels.

A bit ironic

2008-03-14T10:14:00.002-05:00

Yesterday our temps finally broke free making for a beautiful spring day in the 50's. The fact that it coincided with a day off of work should have been the perfect recipe for a ride. Alas, it was not to be.

With Xander's school musical yesterday morning and Amy's role as make-up artist, Maia and I got to hang out for the day. While we had a good time, it did derail any plans that I might have had for a ride.

Ironically, we went outside and Maia rode her bike for a little bit before we went to pick Xander up from school. When we got home, Xander and I went out and played some catch before he decided to ride his bike for a bit. Perfectionist that he is, we're still working on getting him off of the training wheels. With the training wheels, he's unstoppable, but the second we take one off he gets gun shy and rides so slowly that he can't help but tip over. We'll get there or it will be a long summer with the neighbor boys wanting to ride and Xander retreating into the house.

So, for the first time ever, my kids rode more miles than I did for the day.

All work and no play...

2008-03-06T12:53:00.002-06:00

I am exhausted. Today is my day off after nine days in a row at the store and I've decided I'm doing absolutely nothing until rehearsal tonight. I'm finding it a little hard to follow through on doing nothing though. I seem to have such little free time lately that I feel the need to squeeze everything I can out of what little time there is.

Things that I'm having a hard time not doing today include preparing for my March 30 sermon and filling out a doctrinal questionnaire from the Christian & Missionary Alliance for the denomination's ministry licensing process that I kicked into high gear last week. Both are things that are very important to me. Both are things that I will need to devote time to in the near future. Both are things that I need to refrain from doing today so that I can get some rest.

I will get a bit more rest this weekend as we go to visit Mom and Dad's tomorrow night and Saturday. This will be the first time we've had a chance to get over there since they finished converting the chicken coup into an art studio. The photos I've seen look fantastic and I can't wait to take in the finished product. We'll hang out, rest and come home in time to get a good night's sleep (minus daylight savings time) before church on Sunday.

Speaking of, worship at Mercy has been going really well lately. I think I'm finally starting to push into some of the areas that Shelby's been pushing me toward over the last year. We had coffee this morning and agree that two of the last three weeks have been Sundays where the power of the Holy Spirit has been evident and we have engaged as a worshipping community. Now, Shel hinted that while he's pleased, I've really only reached the "moderate" end of the scale as far as charismatic worship goes. I'm very encouraged that things are progressing and I'm growing. I'm also trusting that God will bring about the changes necessary for me to reach my full potential as a worship leader for the community at Mercy Church.

End in Sight

2008-02-29T10:15:00.003-06:00

This week has been an eventful one at work and the end of our cold weather season is in sight. We sold a ton of coats last weekend and when I came into work on Tuesday, I found bike racks set and ready for me to fill for our mountain bike shop. We immediately started seeing more activity in bikes and look forward to even more as the coats go away and the bikes come out of hibernation. We've only got two more weekends of coats and then we'll be able to finish the full set up of the bike shop.

I had a good month of sales and finished well above my month's goal and chipped away at my trip goal as well. Some of my co-workers are on their trip to Cancun that they earned by selling enough to meet their trip goal last year. I started in sales too late to qualify last year, but estimated that I needed to sell $6500/month over my monthly goal (which varies from month to month) in order to win a trip next year. I pulled that off for January and am roughly $12,000 above my month goal this month which means that I should now have to sell at a pace of about $5900/month over my month goal. Hopefully next year at this time Amy and I will be somewhere sunny.

I've also had more opportunity to get out and ride lately. All on the single-speed, all on the bike path, but any miles not done on my trainer in front of my TV are welcome miles at this time of year. It's in the low 30's today, so I'm going to ride to work and it may be even warmer tomorrow, so I should get to do it again then. With any luck, I'll finish March with at least 150 actual miles more than I did last year which is a great way to start my season. I started last year with a good old-fashioned butt kicking on a group ride but I didn't even have 100 miles in my legs. I may forgo the group ride until May this year anyway because I don't pretend to be in the same early season form as some of my fitness freak cohorts.

There's definitely two types of riders: those who ride for performance and those who ride for pleasure. Granted, there's some middle ground, but the primary motivation is usually out of those two camps. I am very much a pleasure rider. I love the bike. I love being able to just get out, clear my head and feel better physically. I always hope that I'll perform well, but that is never the first thing on my mind when I hop on the bike. Besides, I know I'll be able to hang by the time the Tour de Kota rolls around in June like I did last year.

Addition by subtraction (and subtraction by subtraction)

2008-02-24T08:42:00.002-06:00

Life in a church body is rarely boring and that has been doubly so since Amy and I started on staff at Mercy Church. Since we started we officially moved from church plant to official church status, merged with Good Shepherd Community Church and have had any number of challenges in trying to craft an identity as a third-way evangelical, emerging church in a community where the church is very entrenched in subcultural trappings.

The last few weeks have been interesting as we have started trying to sort out what name this newly merged entity should go by. I would say the majority of people would just as soon stick with the name "Mercy Church" and move forward. Of the merged churches, Mercy was the one that brought health, momentum, growth, vision and numbers to the equation. Good Shepherd brought a building and an older demographic rich in life experience and wisdom.

In the naming discussion there have been a few that have been absolutely opposed to the name "Mercy Church" (as well as being opposed to the merger and just about anything else that has happened in the last few years). Two of the most vocally opposed people left the church this week and we are all kind of wondering what new dynamic that will bring as we seek to move forward.

This, to me, is a perfect example of addition by subtraction as the divisive, combative spirit they brought to any discussion served no purpose for a church that is very much about breaking down walls and fostering unity and community within the body and the church universal. Our hope is that they can find a church that is more in line with their vision and values, but where they will not only engage but will grow to fully functioning uniters in the body of Christ.

Obviously, there are moments when you see someone leave and think, "It's probably for the best." But in the life of the church you also see people leave who you love, who you've ministered with and who you hate to see go. Our friends Aaron and Dana are going back to the church they attended before Mercy and this is definitely an example of subtraction simply being subtraction. There isn't any animosity or hostility or anything of that nature, there are just more relationships at their last church and they need to be somewhere that they can both connect. I'll miss Aaron as part of the worship team, but know that we'll still get together for coffee and conversation. Our hope is that they are able to reconnect in a way that brings them health and life and that Aaron's absence on our team will simply be an opportunity for somebody else to engage in ministry that wouldn't have otherwise.

Changing Seasons

2008-02-19T09:59:00.003-06:00

It's currently hovering right around 0 degrees outside, but things at work are definitely pointing to a change of season. Coats are ridiculously marked down to the point where I hate to go into our cold weather shops to sell because it feels like you're trying to sell at a yard sale. On the flip side, now is the time to buy next season's coat if you can find a size and style that works for you.

I've been spending more and more time in the exercise and bike shops instead simply because I've been dealing with my Youth Cold Weather shop since the last week in July and I just desperately need the coats to go bye-bye. I've been having a good month though as exercise sales are still happening (though not as often as around New Year's) and bike sales are happening a little more often.

Case in point, I'd had a pretty quiet day yesterday in terms of sales and had kept occupied with training a new associate in my shops and consolidating the Youth Cold Weather shop after selling a ton of coats over the weekend and was just about ready to leave when I spotted a couple in bikes. 30 minutes later, two more bikes were out the door and my slow day looked like a really good day for February.

With any luck, we'll be out of the cold weather business in two or three weeks and bikes can rule the world again!

Cold weekend

2008-02-11T14:22:00.000-06:00

The weekend was definitely too cold to do much of anything, but I still managed to keep fairly busy. I really didn't want to do much of anything since I'm fighting another cold and temps were below zero with high winds. Nonetheless, I had at least one project that had fallen through that really needed to be done. I took some time on Saturday to build a backstop for our drumset at church much like the one that I built at Hanfield several years ago made up of two sheets of plywood with acoustic foam stapled to them and hinged in the center.

I estimated the project would take about 90 minutes to complete, but no trip to Lowes is complete without a couple of follow up visits. My first visit saw me acquire the supplies, but leave the hinges at the store. I realized it when I was half way to the church but decided that with the wind howling and the hatch open on the Aztek, that I'd be better off dropping off the plywood and then going back for the hinges. My second trip was a success as the hinges were still at the register where I'd left them. Unfortunately, it wasn't until I got back to the church that I realized that the hinges did not have a removable pin. A removable pin makes the panels easier to take apart and store. A third trip was in order.

By this point, my cold had generated a nasty sinus headache and I decided to head home for lunch and some meds before finishing up. I headed back to Lowes, returned the hinges, got the hinges that I should have bought in the first place and went to the church to finish the job. It came together pretty quick even though my staple gun had to be refilled or have the chamber cleared about every four staples. I finally had everything set up by about 3:30, four hours after I initially set out to start the project. I was able to head home and hang out the rest of the day.

Sunday morning we headed out for church. Still cold, but not as windy. We were able to hang out at home after church until we had to go back for a meeting about naming the church. We are in the process of merging our congregation (Mercy Church) with the congregation that owns the building (Good Shepherd Community Church). It is an interesting process that I've mentioned on a few occassions which will eventually leave us with one church, two services and dual denominational affiliation with the Christian & Missionary Alliance and Mennonite USA denominations. Unfortunately, there's a bit of contention over the naming of the church in its new entity, but that's another post entirely.

Today I have the day off and have been doing shuttle service to All City Elementary, USF and First Baptist Preschool, otherwise I wouldn't leave the house. Maia and I have to leave soon to pick Amy up and it's snowing pretty hard at the moment, so odds are good that I'll be going outside to pick up Amy and to scoop snow before the day is out.

On the plus side, things at work are beginning to foreshadow the changing of seasons as my youth cold weather shop is dwindling rapidly and golf has expanded. We're only a few weeks from serious expansion of bikes and then we can start having fun again.

Pushed to Grow

2008-02-05T10:21:00.000-06:00

A constant theme in our ministry at Mercy is the need for me to grow as a worship leader in the charismatic vein of the church. It's been a struggle to push beyond boundaries that are the result of previous worship traditions, my more introverted tendencies and a simple lack of exposure to the type of worship leader that I am being asked to emulate.

Shel has been very good about stressing that this is not about being something that runs counter to my personality, but about growing into the leader that this particular community of believers needs in order to continue to pursue the vision of Mercy Church. We've had moments in the last four or five months that point to things moving in the right direction, but there still isn't the consistency that all of us would desire.

We will be continuing to check out other leaders at other churches that I can learn from (hopefully we'll be attending one such church later this month), but I would also appreciate prayers for growth and the worship life of Mercy.

One last Super Bowl note

2008-02-05T10:02:00.000-06:00

Oh yeah, the halftime show...

Tom Petty? Really? I bear no ill will toward Tom Petty. I definitely respect the man and his music, but what the crap? I understand that those who organize the halftime show have the unenviable task of selecting an artist to perform for about the broadest audience imaginable, but recent selections (with the exception of last year) were, first and foremost, safe selections to avoid any Janet Jackson/Justin Timberlake controversies. The Rolling Stones (who would have thought that they would be considered safe 40 years ago?), Paul McCartney, Tom Petty... Who's next? Tony Bennett? Tom Jones?

The show was really very uninspired, especially in light of Prince's performance last year where he not only engaged the audience but tore up the guitar in one of the most virtuoso instrumental performances ever to grace the Super Bowl universe. In contrast, Tom Petty couldn't even muster up the high notes to sing melody on the choruses of some of his own songs and was about as engaging as you would expect an introverted singer/songwriter to be. I thought he had a very safe performance, but can we put a stop to the way past their primetime halftime shows?

In Petty's defense, Alicia Keys performed about an hour before the game in what also was a pretty uninspiring medley of some of her hits. Alicia Keys is a great musician and performer who is more deserving of the halftime show than Tom Petty, but I doubt she would have fared much better.

Super Bowl stuff

2008-02-04T13:10:00.001-06:00

Great game! I didn't really have a team that I was rooting for going in, but found by halftime that I was pulling for the Giants. You would think with the rivalry that New England shares with the Colts that I would want anyone but them to win, but my hatred of other teams doesn't really run that deep once my teams are elimated from contention.

My desire to see New York win was probably somewhat fueled by all of the cheating allegations that have come out in regards to New Enland's Super Bowl win over St. Louis. As a fan of the game, I'm very put out by the prospect that a team that has had the "dynasty" label attached to it may have blatantly broken league rules to acheive that label. I guess my justice streak runs pretty deep.

As for the commercials, there were a few I liked and a bunch I didn't. On both ends of the spectrum were ads from Budweiser. I liked the Bud Light fire commercial to kick things off. The Will Ferrell one was funny, if a little off color. Their beer may taste horrible, but at least their commercials are entertaining (for the most part).

I was disgusted to see in the paper that the Clydesdales scored high again. I have long despised Budweiser's Clydesdale ads (with the exception of some of the football playing ones). They are overhyped, overly sentimental and, again, their beer tastes like (insert your euphemism here). The whole "Rocky" thing was uninspired and predictable and I pray that the day will come when the Clydesdales are no longer treated like a national institution.

The only good thing about the football season ending is that it means the spring classics in cycling are about to begin. While other football fans go into fetal position until pre-season NFL games kick off again, I get to start enjoying my other favorite sport.

Too many computer users

2008-02-04T13:07:00.000-06:00

We've added Maia as an official user of the computer. She's starting in on some of Xander's old favorites like pbskids.org and nickjr.com. It's getting a little hard for each of us to find time to do the things online that we'd like, such as blogging. I know I've missed at least two posts in the last week in order to keep the peace in the house and not kick the kids off of the computer. Oh well, growing pains.

A Beautiful Funeral

2008-01-27T09:16:00.000-06:00

Yesterday was a bittersweet day as we celebrated the life and passing of Professor Larry Torkelson in Vermillion. Larry died on Wednesday following a battle with a pretty aggressive cancer. He was our Chamber Singers conductor, my voice teacher for a short time, our conducting teacher and a valued supporter of both Amy and me.

We had an opportunity to rejoin Larry on stage last spring as part of an invitation only alumni choir that he put together. We had the chance to sing pieces that we had done in college and reconnected with several friends through the experience. In honor of his love for his students and the music we made together, an alumni choir was assembled for the funeral singing a few of Larry's favorite pieces. We did Mozart's "Laudate Dominum" and the "Agnus Dei" from Peter Williams' Missa Brevis which is probably one of the pieces that we all associate most closely with Larry. Making it even more special was the fact that Peter Williams flew from Monterey, CA to conduct the piece himself.

There were probably about 50 singers all told from throughout Larry's tenure at USD and we had the chance to reconnect with friends like Tom Green, Lonny Mitchell, Janice and Kevin Dart and Troy Stephens. We rehearsed in the morning in the choir room at USD, shared stories, caught up with old friends and made beautiful music. So many of us had performed these pieces with Larry (including last year's alumni choir) that we sort of have the pieces hardwired into our memory. I actually sang for the most part without even looking at the music, knowing the notes, dynamics and phrasing that we would be using from hours under Larry's direction.

The funeral was at the UCC in Vermillion where Amy and I attended church in college. The main level was full and the balcony was occupied by several well wishers and the current crop of USD Chamber Singers who performed as well. The words and scriptures that were shared pointed to the beauty of God, the beauty of life and emphasized Larry's uncommon recognition of beauty. He had a way of recognizing a moment and pulling all of us into it as well. Rehearsals were often marked with moments of transcendence when the music we were making connected with something beyond our comprehension. In hindsight, Larry was a great worship leader in this respect. He helped us recognize beauty and invited us to experience God through it. His use of liturgical and spiritual texts was more than academic, it was a way for him to connect his students' love of music with his love of beauty in the power of God.

As we sang, we were in rows behind the casket and his conducting chair from the choir room and a music stand were placed in front in the aisle. The music was beautiful, tearful, worshipful and held us in the tension between this life and the next as we celebrated a friend, advisor and co-conspirator who will be missed.

A few of those that shared at the service spoke of how they could see Larry in Heaven organizing the next rehearsal and preparing to make even more beautiful music. The way I see it, Larry was more about beauty than music. Music was simply his portal to the expression and experience of beauty. Larry's desire for beauty has now found it's ultimate inspiration and I see him captivated before the throne of God basking in a beauty beyond the greatest things he ever imagined in this life. He will be missed but he continues to inspire those who knew him and hopefully his funeral has helped move a few people closer to God through the shared pursuit of beauty with a great man.

Great Cycling Article From ESPN.com

2008-01-18T10:30:00.000-06:00

I have a couple of sights that I hit pretty much everyday on topics from cycling to news to comics and several blogs from friends and family members. I usually get my cycling fix from Cyclingnews.com, but was pleasantly surprised to discover this article on ESPN.com this morning.

It's a spotlight on Team Slipstream and their attempts to show a new way for cycling to move forward without the performance enhancing drugs that have plagued the sport for the last 15-20 years. Slipstream will probably be the only US based team that receives an invite to the 2008 Tour de France, so here's a chance to get in on the ground floor with a team that has great potential to be an active player in the highest ranks of pro cycling.

New Music!!! (part 1)

2008-01-12T19:28:00.000-06:00

My discretionary income has been a bit restricted in the last few years making the purchase of new music a rare occasion, but Christmas allowed an influx of new music into the collection and it may take me a few posts to comment on what I've received and heard. I received CD's from Mae, Robbie Seay Band, Fee, Jason Upton, Caedmon's Call, Lifehouse, Tree 63 and Toby Mac (who has always been a guilty pleasure for me). I'll comment on a few now and a few later as I haven't really had a chance to digest much of this flood of music I've been blessed with.

First up is "Singularity" from Mae. Mae is a band that I fell in love with right before we left Indiana three years ago when I was able to pick up their album "Destination Beautiful" on a going out of business sale. I thought they had a unique modern rock sound that was very melodic and accessible while still being very intelligent lyrically. "The Everglow" was a staple on my early commutes from Yankton to Sioux Falls to work at Citi and is still a favorite. "Singularity" continues in that vein; intelligent, creative, memorable. I've only been through the album three times, but I only put it aside because there are so many other new albums that I need to acquaint myself with, otherwise, it would probably remain the only thing I would listen to for the next few weeks. I can't believe more people don't know about these guys, but I guess that's somewhat indicative of our culture's inability to embrace the creative instead of the dispensible.

Next is "Give Yourself Away" by the Robbie Seay Band. This is a band that I've been wanting to check out for awhile, but have simply missed the boat, until now. This album is a great blend of radio friendly accessibility and artistic integrity. I hope that this band finally begins to find a broader audience because they absolutely deserve it. A combination of songs appropriate for corporate worship, seeker settings and general listening (as evidenced by their use on American Idol advertising and CW programming), "Give Yourself Away" is worth checking out and is available for a limited time on iTunes for just $7.99!

Last (for this round) is "We Shine" by Fee. I've seen Steve Fee lead worship on several occasions over the last seven years and have appreciated his ability to engage a congregation in small and large settings. This album is the first label release for his band "Fee" and hopefully will give him a chance to gain some exposure. At the same time, I think there is a lot of room for growth. There are a lot of good songs, good melodies and creative production, but lyrically I think he's capable of a lot more. Occasions for predictable rhyme schemes abound and this is the only criticism that I have of the album as a whole. I think that he has the ability to push beyond the obvious in lyrical content and hope that he'll push himself on his next project because I think he is capable of creating something truly impacting and memorable if he challenges himself. Even so, I think we'll find a few of these song work themselves into Mercy's services either as corporate songs or prelude material.

These were the CD's that I've had a chance to listen to multiple times, so I will reserve comment on the rest until I've had a chance to listen to them a few more times.

New Gear!

2008-01-10T16:10:00.000-06:00

We have been working on getting an in-ear monitor system up and running at Mercy for several months now and I am finally ready to make the jump. One of the challenges for un in terms of sound production is that the room that we play in is great for acoustic instruments but horrible for a full band with wedge monitors, guitar amps and such.

So, one of the adjustments that I am making is setting myself up so that I don't have to run through my Peavey Classic 30 (an amp I love, but which winds up producing a decent amount of stage noise that muddies up the sound in the room). Instead, I will now be substituting a Sans-Amp processor and Xotic Effects AC Booster distortion pedal.

The Sans-Amp does a decent job of modeling the sound you would get from an amp, but obviously isn't nearly as warm a sound as my Classic 30. It's a trade off, but one that should give the sound person more control of what it sounds like in the room. It has three amp settings (Fender, Marshall and Mesa Boogie) as well as three different mic placement simulations and three different channels (clean, distortion and overdrive) which will give me a pretty broad range of tones to choose from, so I should be able to find something that I like.

The distortion pedal was a surprise to me as I was pretty focused on getting an Ibanez Tube Screamer for a month or so, but once I sat down at the store to try pedals out, it was pretty obvious that the Xotic Effects pedal gave me a much warmer tone and broader tonal range than the Tube Screamer. I probably played for 10 minutes with some Boss pedals when I first started, another 10 with the Ibanez and Xotic AC and then another 20 with the AC and the Xotic BB before finally picking up the AC. I liked the BB as well, but felt that it was maybe a little too bright for how I play with the team and I wasn't sure that I'd be able to tone it down enough to really fit in as a second guitar player. The AC is a bit heavier on the mids and lows, but I should be able to dial it in so that it isn't too muddy for the band mix.

I can't wait for rehearsal tonight as I'm going to give the new set up a test drive even though we don't have the in-ear system yet. Hopefully, we'll have it in the next few weeks and we'll be one step closer to being able to make a really live room livable for our worship team.

A good trip

2008-01-10T15:54:00.000-06:00

I'm not going to go into the minutia of all of the events of our trip to Indiana as you can get a pretty good overview on Amy's blog, but I do have a few things to comment on.

First, I love how easy it was to step back into each others' lives. We hadn't been back to Marion since May of 2006, but I was amazed at how it seemed like we picked up right where we left off with so many of our friends. I guess it shows how much of a family we are. Obviously we wish we could see each other more often, but such is life.

It was also nice to get a chance to sing at Hanfield and play with a few friends again. It was an easy mode to step back into in terms of leading that congregation. I know that we won't always be doing special music when we go back to visit, but I'm glad that we've had a chance to on a couple of occasions and that people are genuinely glad to see us when we come back.

It does look like we might be back again in July for Cori Helm's wedding, but I haven't looked at the schedule too closely to see if it will be the whole family or just Amy and the kids. I used up half of my 2008 vacation time before I even worked a day and I'm not sure how exactly I'll tap into what little bit is left.

Re-entry

2008-01-09T21:00:00.000-06:00

It seems that a week of sitting around having conversation with friends for every waking hour does not keep you in condition to be on your feet at work for nine hours. I hadn't really given it much consideration, but really noticed my back aching and a general state of fatigue today at work.

I also learned that while I was gone, one coworker was fired and another gave his two weeks notice to take another job. I asked one of the other guys if I needed to go back on vacation to get rid of anyone else, but figured they might start to think I had quit and hire somebody new for my job.

Tomorrow is my day off (after one day of work) and I'm hoping to have coffee with Aaron, pick up a distortion pedal to complete my "amp-less" guitar set up, put away Christmas at the homestead, rehearse with our worship team and have a product meeting at work. With any luck, I'll be able to sneak in a bike ride as well.

Back to the Grind

2008-01-09T06:38:00.001-06:00

My hiatus from this space was a bit extended from what I had hoped. Christmas season in retail and church, the holiday season itself and a trip to Indiana for a wedding tend to take a bit of time out of you. Hopefully I'll be able to start getting back in the flow if only with short posts, but for now, it's back to the grind.

Unexpected Opportunities

2007-12-13T14:03:00.000-06:00

Now, before anybody starts to worry or hope, we have no intentions of going anywhere for the time being. But, we have learned of a few opportunities that we weren't expecting.

In a conversation with Ronda Myers we learned that Hanfield's Worship Arts Pastor resigned. I don't know the situation, but we've had a few email exchanges with friends where they've let us know they'd love for us to consider staying when we come back for Rachel's wedding in a few weeks. Obviously, we are flattered and we would love to serve alongside our friends and Hanfield family again, but I don't sense any strong move in that direction.

Another interesting thing came up this week. We had applied for a job in Hastings, Nebraska two summers ago and were only about two weeks away from making a trip there for an interview weekend when I sensed the Lord telling us that we weren't supposed to go. Now, whether the Lord was saying, "No" or "Not at this time" I am not sure, but I had a call from Randy, the Senior Pastor, the other night asking if we would consider discussing and praying about the position again.

The situation is that the church is running about 500-600 in attendance and needs someone to lead the existing worship ministry (primarily a blended style) as well as helping to found and facilitate an alternative worship service. They never did call anyone to that position as they really want to find someone with the right mix of gifts and experience. Again, we're flattered that our conversations with Randy and other staff nearly 18 months ago left enough of an impression that they would still be thinking about us, but we're not sensing a strong pull away from Sioux Falls at this time.

At the same time, I did tell Randy that we would discuss it and pray about it. When we were called from Hanfield, I was very clear through prayer that I was willing to go anywhere God wanted me to go and do anything He wanted me to do. At the time, that was fueled by a great deal of restlessness and a desire for change. If I still believe that I would go anywhere and do anything the Lord asks then I need to be open to His leading when I am comfortable and settled as well.

Randy and I agreed to speak again after the first of the year to see whether to continue the conversation or not.

Again, nobody freak out. We're not planning on going anywhere for the time being, but want to continue to practice listening to the leading of God rather than simply making gut level, hasty decisions without talking to Him about it. We love Sioux Falls and proximity to family. Amy's home and USF studios are doing well. Xander loves his school and is making friends. I'm enjoying my job (most days). We love our home. We love our church (as challenging and hard as it is sometimes). There are a lot of things pointing to us staying, but we need to see what God has to say about it.

A New (Used) Trainer

2007-12-13T13:53:00.000-06:00

I am happy to announce the retirement of the late '80's model Supergo wind trainer that I have used as my bike trainer for the better part of 20 years. I had the chance to upgrade to a CycleOps Fluid 2 trainer that I bought from Bryan at work. Bryan upgraded to a spin bike that Mike, our store manager, upgraded from after one year of use.

My Supergo was great for me, but was way too loud to use in the house that we're in now. Before I could always put it in the basement, but here I was stuck putting it in the garage which is about the last place that I want to spend time riding a bike both aesthetically and from a comfort/temperature standpoint.

I rode the new trainer yesterday morning in the family room right next to the bedroom and Amy said that it didn't bother her. The nice thing was that I was able to watch tv while on the trainer for the first time since Colorado. I selected the 2005 Tour for my viewing pleasure and spun for a half hour or so. Not a huge effort, but it has given me hope that it will be a better off season on the bike than I've probably ever had.

As for the outdoor scene, I ordered some studded tires for the mountain bike for riding in the snow and ice when other weather permits. I'll need to wait to pick them up for awhile yet, but hope that if the forecast looks good I might even be able to take a bike to Indiana with me when we go for Rachel's wedding in a few weeks. I'm crossing my fingers as I would love to ride some while we're back.

D Street House Going Back On the Market

2007-12-13T13:43:00.000-06:00

Anybody want to buy a house? I got in touch with Sally, our realtor, in Marion to officially put the house back on the market. We had taken it off the market and looked at rent to own possibilities and the possibility of selling it ourselves to a friend, but nothing has panned out to this point.

We have rented the place since summer, but managing a property from a thousand miles away isn't something we want to do for any longer than necessary. With any luck, we'll be back on the market by the end of the month and will finally see the place sell in the new year.

Trek back in the pro tour

2007-12-13T13:01:00.000-06:00

When the Discovery Channel Team's management announced that they were ending operations after the 2007 season in August, Trek bikes was left without a top level professional team and Trek dealers (myself included) began to wonder whether anyone would be riding the bikes we're selling next season.

I started to suspect that they might be a match for the Astana team after BMC Bikes dumped the team late in the summer due to the doping scandals that hit the team during and shortly following this year's Tour de France. There were very few other teams at that level that didn't already have a bike supplier and Trek's options seemed pretty slim. Shortly after that, Johan Bruyneel (former director for US Postal/Discovery Channel) took on responsibilities for Astana and the possibility of Trek becoming the official bike supplier seemed a much better prospect.

That possibility finally became reality with the announcement of the partnership last night. Astana (including last year's Tour champ Alberto Contador and podium finisher Levi Leipheimer) will be perched atop the all new Trek Madone 6.9 Pro model and Trek dealers everywhere can look forward to having the bikes represented at the biggest races in the world. Trek will also be the clothing supplier which hopefully means that their clothing line will step up in a big way after being pretty lackluster in terms of quality up to this point.

Now let's just hope that no further drug scandals crop up for the team or the sponsor...